裏バイト (Part Time Criminal Job Posts) from Takeshi’s TV Tackle

裏バイト (Part Time Criminal Job Posts) from Takeshi’s TV Tackle


Word up! George of Japan here talking about
more Japanese TV. About a week ago, I
was watching Beat Takeshi’s TV Tackle
special which was about stuff on the
Japanese dark web. And I thought, “This might
be interesting to talk about.” So let’s
jump on down to the first dark message
board post.
Yeah, I’m still using notes. A bicycle, ice,
and vegetables. Can you guess what
they’re selling?
If you guessed illicit drugs, you’re
right. I can kind of guess what two of
those are, but what the heck is a bicycle? The
show decided to investigate and contact
the seller. Oh, I should introduce this
guy. He’s no crime investigator; he’s a
comedian. And he’s about to call a drug
dealer. The conversation sounded like a
comedy sketch! What’s a bicycle? Coke. And the
numbers? Price. Is this per gram? Yes.. What
is this!? Are you buying or not!? Sorry
sorry. It’s–it’s my first time doing this.
What do you recommend? I ain’t got no
recommendation! Are you buying or not? So,
you don’t use anything you sell? Hell no!
I just sell it. That’s not good…
What’s not good?! Selling them, using them?!
Both. Who is this?! Are you stupid or
something!? No, I’m not stupid. I just think
you should stop selling this stuff. Oh
yeah, you’re stupid. Later loser.
I’m not joking that’s seriously how the
call went. This guy’s awesome! Japanese TV
at its best! The next post was about
an ambiguous job posting.
Our comedian called the number but was
turned down due to his lack of English
ability. The show then contacted Michael
Tomioka to make the call.
He proved his English ability, and the
recruiter revealed that this was a con
artist job. He was to take on the role
of Andrew, the head of a foreign bank in
an elaborate scam to swindle old people
out of money. Upon success, he was told
his cut would be 30 million yen!
I guess this dart recruiter felt Michael
had a lot of potential and he started
telling him about other jobs. Dealer at
an underground casino. If you can stand
working with Yakuza and the like, its 60,000
yen a day. The next job he offered was a
big one. In Japanese it’s called
Kuro Katsuo Ipponduri. Roughly translated, it’s
fishing for a black bonito. Any idea what
it is? Well in the Japanese underworld, it
means to steal a huge amount of money
from a criminal. He was told that he
would be stealing from the vault of a
delivery health service–Don’t want to
talk about that… The last job he offered
was advertised as being totally legit.
Crab fishing. The boat leaves at the
beginning of October. You fish for crabs
for one month. Later the show discovered
that the crab hunting season is November,
so of course this is illegal. He was told
that he would be cut a check for a
million yen once he boarded the boat, and
I guess there was a possibility for
sales bonuses. Oh that’s right! There was
another job specifically for women.
This was another con job to swindle bank
information from the elderly. The dark
recruiter said women just seem more
trustworthy. What I found most shocking
about this job was how attentive this
criminal was to working women’s needs.
Are you married? Kids? I bet your husband
expects you to cook breakfast and clean.
So let’s see if we can get you conning
in the early morning to afternoon,
so you can get back and take care of
your kids. Oh and I wouldn’t recommend
doing this for a long period of time
people will remember your face, and cops
will eventually find you. But I can find
you different scams. I think it’s pretty
sad when you compare it to how many
companies treat their female employees
currently in Japan. Oh you’re pregnant? So
when are you quitting? I was bewildered
that the show actually made contact with
criminals directly but also surprised by
how civil some of them seemed. Anyway, I
hope you enjoy this little dip into the
underworld of Japan. Have a glorious day!

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