5 Crazy Vintage Commercials (GAME)

( crew laughing )
( music plays )
Today we’re gonna play a game
where I get to watch
some vintage commercials.
– That’s right.
– But these aren’t just
any old commercials.
I’m told these ads
are cheesy and awful.
I told him that.
In other words,
they’re awfully cheesy.
Well, that wasn’t
other words.
Those are just
the same words,
but inverted.
Here’s how
this is gonna work.
I’m gonna show you
a clip or clips from
a vintage commercial.
– Yep.
– I’m gonna show you parts
where it’s not
immediately obvious
what’s being sold,
because that is
your task, Rhett.
You have to guess
what product is being sold.
If you get three or more
of these correct,
you win one of the products
being advertised.
Ooh, I love products.
And you gon’ want it.
Yo, let’s kick this off
back in 1992, yo.
Yo, that’s why
you said, “Yo,” yo.
– Hit it.
– Aw, yeah, girl!
( laughs )
Okay, I got a lot to go on.
All right, I’m not
gonna give you much.
Is this an ad for…
A, a knock-off version
of Hammer pants,
B, a cologne
called Rap Musk,
C, a beer
called Hip Hops IPA…
– What?
– …or, D,
a new post-insult
relief cream
called Sick Burn?
Oh, that would’ve been
ahead of its time.
– Ahem.
– What do you think, Rhett?
Did she say,
“Aw, yeah, girl”?
– She did.
– Aw, yeah, girl.
She said, “Girl,” okay.
So, maybe she’s
selling this to girls.
What are girls into?
In 1992?
I don’t know if girls
would be into Rap Musk.
Unless you’re gonna buy it
for your boy.
Girls wouldn’t want
the IPA beer.
I’m making all kinds
of generalizations
and getting
in trouble for it.
Girls can love IPA.
I’m just trying to figure out
what was the tar–
the marketing people
were thinking.
Haters gonna hate.
Uh, I think this is
a knock-off version
of Hammer pants, man.
All right, A.
Let’s reveal the answer
via the ad itself.
♪ Gonna tell you about
a fresh new spray ♪
♪ And, girlfriend,
the name of this game
is Rap Musk ♪
♪ This is something fresh
in your hand ♪
♪ And just take a spray
of the hype, Rap Musk ♪
♪ Rap Musk, it’s so hype ♪
♪ I got it right here,
you can wear it tonight ♪
– Yeah!
– Oh, you got me Rap Musk!
Look at that.
It’s got the hat on sideways.
Have you already
used half of it?
– Yeah.
– What you been doing?
You been musking it up?
It’s pretty great.
Do you want a little–
Yeah, spray into the air.
– Uh– uh–
– Rap Musk done broke.
We’re gonna have to get at it
another way, my friend.
You have
to get three right.
I’ll just pour it
all over my body.
You did not
get that one right.
It’s endorsed by
Flava Flav’s sister,
Smella Smell.
Next up, this 1985 ad
is out of this world, Rhett.
Oh, yoo-hoo.
Jimmy, get the door.
– It must be
Cousin Willie.
– Okay.
Cousin Willie?
( imitates woman )
It might be Cousin Willie.
( imitates woman )
Cousin Willie.
( normal voice )
‘Cause every time
you’ve got a cousin,
you put “cousin”
in front of their name
when you refer to them.
Um, this is referred to
as the “Cousin Willie ad.”
For what product?
Is it Reese’s Pieces?
Mars Bar? Underoos?
Or NASA’s Underoos rip-off
featuring Uranus?
– Get it?
– Mm.
Yeah, you’re talking
about crotchless underwear.
– Well, buttless underwear.
– Yeah.
What do you think?
Now, I remember
seeing this ad.
– This does have a–
this feels familiar.
– Back in ’85.
This doesn’t feel like
an underwear commercial.
– This definitely feels–
– Look at that look on his face.
It feels like
a candy commercial.

And Reese’s Pieces
had a thing with ET, right?
So maybe Mars
was trying to get in
on that extraterrestrial
connection to candy.
So I’m gonna say B,
Mars Bar.
All right,
let’s find out.
Want some?
It’s a little blue guy
with big ears.
He wants to share
his Reese’s Pieces.
Reese’s Pieces?
But, Mom, you’ve got
to see this little blue guy.
Cousin Willie?
Oh, of course.
That’s what always happens.
So, you got it wrong.
It was Reese’s Pieces.
But you know what?
Don’t be too hard
on this ad.
It was from
back in the ’80s,
before acting.
Ah, yeah.
I remember those days.
Rhett, you’re not
doing too good.
Do you want this or not?
– Well, I–
– Do you want the Rap Musk?
I don’t think I need
Rap Musk in my life.
This next ad is actually
from the stone age.
One of the wildest species
ever to stalk this planet

was the human animal.
– Oh, wow.
– Oh, face off.
Yeah, that’s what
I used to do.
– The human animal.
– When I saw the ladies,
I’d crouch.
– You’re off the market.
– They’d crouch right
back at me.
That’s how Jessie and I
first made eye contact.
We made eye contact
and we crouched,
and we’ve been together
ever since.
Then what?
We did other things
after crouching.
Is this an ad for…
…or FarmersOnly.com.
This is strange,
because I’ve never heard
of Danner hiking boots.
You ever heard
of primitive farming?
– Uh, yeah.
– Yeah.
But I’ve never heard
of Danner hiking boots
until, like, two days ago,
I found myself looking
at Danner hiking boots
on the internet,
and now they’re in this game.
What are the chances?
That’s weird!
It can’t be another cologne
with musk in it, can it?
It probably could be,
I think it is
another cologne.
I think this is
Coty Wild Musk Cologne.
All right,
let’s find out.
Wild Musk Oil for her,

Coty Musk Cologne for him.
One touch bears
a thousand quivers.

Coty Wild Musk–
use it before you stalk.
It’s amazing how similar
that is to that first time.
We crouched,
and then she touched me,
– and I moved away.
– Yeah, you just moved back.
You gotta play hard to get.
I thought you said,
“Hannah Hart, what?”
Uh, Hannah Hart
was not involved.
All right,
so you finally
got one right.
Let’s see another.
( music playing )
( whistling )
– Yeah, buddy.
– Yep.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I’m glad I work here.”
Is this a commercial
…or irritable
bowel syndrome?
First of all,
if you’re excited
about, you know–
if you’re being visually
stimulated, as they call it,
just keep it to yourself.
Don’t be so obvious
with it, you know?
– Tone it down a little bit.
– Oh, gosh.
Yeah, what an idiot.
I think I remember
this commercial.
– Oh, you do, do you?
– It’s either–
It’s either Nair
or Aquafresh.
Hair remover–
It seems like you’d show–
– Hair.
– That area if you’re
talking about–
No– Aquafresh.
I think all the ladies
turn around and
they all have big hair.
What do you mean
“that area”?
– The lower body.
Hair remover.
– Okay.
– Like, for the legs.
– Okay.
I’m gonna go with
C, Aquafresh.
All right, let’s see
if he’s right.
( music playing )
( whistling )
♪ Who wears short shorts? ♪
♪ We wear short shorts ♪
♪ If you dare
wear short shorts ♪
♪ Nair for short shorts ♪
I saw a lot of lower body.
( crew laughing )
– Doing this.
– I do remember that.
I should’ve gone
with my instincts.
– It does sometimes.
– I can’t–
My instincts, and that’s
why I’ve got Rap Musk.
– No, you don’t have it.
– Stevie:Also, Aquafresh
is a toothpaste.

– Did I say Aquafresh?
– Yeah, you said Aquafresh.
You said they’d have big hair.
Oh, Aqua Net!
I was thinking Aqua Net.
I didn’t know
what he was talking about.
– You were thinking
I was crazy for a second.
– Yeah.
– I just thought you were–
– Aqua Net!
( groans )
– Okay.
– The old Aqua Net,
Aquafresh mix-up.
As long as it doesn’t
happen in the bathroom.
All right, lastly,
let’s visit a park in 1987.
– You want to?
– Yeah, but I can’t win
the Rap Musk.
– So I have no motivation.
– All right, you know what?
– If you get this one right,
– Yeah.
I will spritz you
with my Rap Musk.
Oh, spritz me!
– Mike, wake up! Wake up!
– Please get up.
Oh, gosh.
( imitates woman )
Wake up! Wake up!
Is that
Cousin Willie again?
Cousin Willie at the park.
Is this a commercial
…Ensure nutrition drink,
– or euthanasia.
– Oh, gosh.
Oh, I have no comment
about euthanasia.
– Um–
– Smells–
It smells rhythmic.
Ensure nutrition drink
seems too on the nose.
That man is
on a skateboard.
Why would she put a man–
an old man on a skateboard
and be telling him to wake up?
Because he needs
a new pair of jeans?
I don’t think so.
Uh, I think he needs
a Klondike Bar.
Let’s watch the whole–
Let’s watch it.
Jordache Basics.

– What happened to him?
– He’s been hurt.
– Is is awake?
– Yeah, I think so.
– No, he’s probably drunk.
– We have to get help!
– I don’t think
we should move him.
– Leave him down.
– We just saw him!
– Yeah, leave him down.
Give me your jacket.
– Hurry! Hurry!
– Mike, wake up!
– Wake up!
– Please, get up.
– Do something.
– What are you gonna do?
– He’s an old man.
– Call somebody.
( girl murmuring )
Is he gonna be all right?
No! He’s not going
to be all right.
None of you are going
to be all right.
This is not all right.
Wearing Jordache
is a mistake to begin with.
I have no explanation,
and I am no longer all right.
– No.
– That was just plain weird,
but I do wanna wear denim.
– All right, Rhett.
– Let me spray it on you.
You can– Well, try.
‘Cause you won.
– Here it comes.
– Not gonna work.
– Oh, it goes–
– No, didn’t go down.
It smells– You can smell
a little bit of it.
It smells good.
You didn’t win–
It smells exactly
like my grandma, Mama Nell.
– Boy, we had– Yeah, she–
– Did Mama Nell wear Rap Musk
– all those years?
– I think she did.
And I didn’t realize it? What?
Thank you for liking,
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– I’m Selena.
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