An Englishman Plays Risk – Foil Arms and Hog

An Englishman Plays Risk – Foil Arms and Hog

Alright, game of Risk, who goes first?
I believe it’s my turn.
I think I will invade…
You really wanna go through this again?
Not there…
You never change!
He never changes!
Eh…I’ll invade
Good point
Always the same with this guy
I will invade Hong K…
Sri Laaaa
New Zeal..
I will probably,
Skip my turn.
Alright, who’s next?
Boys, I’m goin in the Middle East
No, that’s not how the game works,
you need to be beside the country
your attacking.
Well you just try and stop me son.
Wait a second…
Who’s troops are these in the Ukraine?
What troops?
I don’t see any troops
Dimitri are these yours?
I don’t know what you’re talking about
We know they’re yours.
I know nothing.
Alright boys, I’m pullin my troops
out of the Middle East.
Hey! You can’t just take your troops out
whenever you want!
I’m not aware of that.
Okay Germany, you’re go
Oh nein danke, I’m not playing,
I get way too competitive,
it brings out the worst in me.
Okay, it’s my turn.
I want to invade España.
You want to invade Spain?

I thought you were Spain
I am not Spanish!
I am Catalan!
*Sharp intake of breath&
Hey hold on Britain, why do you have
troops in the middle of the Ocean?
Oh they’re not..
No, that’s Gibraltar,
And they’re the Falklands.
I just assumed..
They were mine…
Sorry was that weird?
Scandinavia, your go
Okay, I’m thinking I’m going to raid
You mean invade?
No I mean pillage and plunder.
What’s going on you’re only meant to
start with 30 pieces.
And Switzerland, where’s your army?
I do not have one
How the hell are you meant to
play the game!
I thought we were playing Monopoly
Are we not playing monopoly?
I am going to invade India
That’s America!
India’s the other way you bloody moron
Everybody bloody time with this guy
Who’s turn is it now?
Yesh, I will invaade Africa
Count me in
Ich auch.
Me too
Mmm Africa
And while you are in Africa,
I will invade Europe.
Right that’s it, finish up!
Time for bed!
Mum we’re nearly finished!
Will you come off it, you’ve been
at that for Centuries!
Hi we’re Foil Arms and Hog, thanks for watching
We’ve a new video every Thursday
We are on tour in Ireland in 2018,
in the following places
Wexford (2017)
Dublin (7 Shows)
Cork.. oh you said Cork
Mullingar’s my one,
and Limerick.
I murdered that
ruined it

100 thoughts on “An Englishman Plays Risk – Foil Arms and Hog”

  1. Where is the Turks
    Oh sorry we doesnt exploit any country at same time we re never give up our independent 🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🐺

  2. I just wants to clear that. Switzerland has an army, even though i dont really know for what reason. We have a Militia system.

    Of course this vid is fun and i interprete it as fun.

  3. Switzerland has an army. quite a big actually in case of emergency 😊 we just barely use it. it's easier to let the others fight and take care of their finances in the mean time

  4. PORKFOOT is the leader in musical innovation, here is why

  5. I know it's a comedy but the Falkland Islands have never belonged to Argentina and both they and the citizens of Gibraltar voted overwhelming to remain apart of the UK. Not exactly controversial if you respect the wishes and values of the inhabitants.

  6. 1:47 is that supossed to be the netherlands…honestly can't tell. But i see orange and were talking about africa so…

  7. What you try say about Russia? This is inaccurate anti-Russian propaganda and I demand you to take it down.

    If you do not take it down we and our Uzbek friends will fix the boxing matches at the next Olympics just like we did at Rio and take medals from all of you.

  8. Us English along with our American and German brothers built the modern world and introduced liberty and individual rights worldwide, our Empire gave millions of people clean water, sanitation, schools, and stopped poverty and famine. I'm actually quite proud of my nations achievements.

  9. India comes out unscathed typical I suppose they were too busy with ethnic cleansing to invade anywhere else

  10. Everyone that says that states that switzerland has an army. Actually it is kind of true. The Swiss Armed Forces is mostly made up from conscripted people. So every male has to serve in the army at some point in life.
    In other words: Switzerland HAS no army, Switzerland IS an army!

  11. Who were the countries dividing up Africa supposed to be. Because I'm pretty sure the guy that said "let's invade Africa" was supposed to be a Dutch guy with a joint, but the Dutch didn't participate in that.

  12. Yup. They all unanimously agreed to invade my African continent.
    Our history of the last 300-400 years in a nutshell.

  13. Love how Scandinavia says pillage and plunder so casually and like it's as innocent as drinking tea with your grandma.

  14. Ok, that's it, I'm inspired. Here is a list of homerules to bring out the national flavor of each country. More coming soon.

    United Kingdom: Rules the waves.
    Can only be used if your capital is in Great Britain, you control your capital, and you control either all of Europe, or no other territory in Europe.
    Can declare attacks from any territory bordering the ocean to any other territory bordering the ocean.

    United States: Global Police.
    Can only be used if your capital is in the eastern or western United States, and you control both the Eastern and the Western United States.
    Can consolidate to and from any territory you control, regardless of adjacency.

    Germany: Blitzkrieg
    Can only be used if your capital is in Northern Europe and you control your capital.
    Once per turn, after the first successful conquest of a territory, you instantly gain a card/star, and can also use your cards/stars immediately, and deploy any troops from those cards/stars immediately. This does not replace your normal cards/stars from conquering a territory.

    China: Peasant army
    Can only be used if your capital is in China, and you control your capital.
    Start out the game with 100 troops in your capital, but, during every battle, you lose troops equal to the result of the successful dice thrown by your enemy.

    Mongolia: The Golden horde
    Can only be used if your capital is in Mongolia and you control your capital.
    Every territory you conquer supplies the army that conquered it with 3 free troops.

    Russia: A million is a statistic.
    Can only be used if your capital is in Russia/Ukraine, you control your capital, and any of the following territories: Ural, Siberia, Irkutsk, Yakutsk, Kamchatka.
    Every territory in your empire generates 1 troop each. If you control Russia/Ukraine, Ural, Siberia, Irkusk, Yakutsk, and Kamchatka, each territory in your empire generates 2 troops each.

    Japan: Banzai
    Can only be used if your capital is in Japan, and you control your capital
    If you attack a player you did not battle with last turn, for the rest of the turn, if you battle that player, you gain an extra attack die.

    Scandanavia: Viking Raiders
    Can only be used if your capital is in Scandanavia, and you control your capital
    Once per turn, if you attack a territory, inflict at least 2 casualties in that battle and retreat from that battle, half the enemy troop number remaining in that territory become yours, (rounding down) but you cannot attack that territory for the rest of the turn.

    Australia: Deadly wildlife
    Can only be used if your capital is in eastern or western Australia, and if you control Eastern and Western Australia.
    When defending, you gain 1 defense die. If you control the entire continent of Australia, and the battle is in Australia you gain 2 defense die instead.

    Canada: The True north
    Can only be used if your capital is in one of the following territories, Quebec, Ontario, Alberta, Northwest Territory, you control your capital, and at least two of those territories.
    If a territory in North America you control is conquered, that opponent cannot attack any of your other territories for the rest of the turn.

    France/Spain/Portugal: Colonial Empires
    Can only be used if your capital is in Western Europe, and you control your capital.
    If you control a territory outside of Europe, gain 1 extra troop for each continent you have a territory in. If you control more than half the territories on a continent outside of Europe, gain the continent bonus for that continent.

    Italy/Greece: Neo Roman Empire
    Can only be used if your capital is in Southern Europe, and you control your capital.
    If you conquer a territory adjacent to Southern Europe, you gain 3 troops in southern Europe. If you control all territories adjacent to Southern Europe at the start of your reinforcement phase, gain 5 extra troops.

  15. Does anyone not notice that the caption at 1:33 reads ‘Is there a person who can speak Chinese watching our video?’ while China sounds like they’re google translate? How can you come up with such a coherent message but be unable to say 对不起??? Seriously tho the sentence structure implies that whoever wrote it knows at least a little bit of Chinese.

  16. Portugal: starts the discoveries, at one point shares half the world with Spain
    Also Portugal: completely ignored in content like this

  17. The spanish guy with the mexican sombrero hurts my eyes like- it can't be that hard to get it right, besides that great video 👏🏻

  18. The best part is that the English didn't invade India, New Zealand, Egypt or even Australia. History is fun when you actually learn it instead of sticking to bigoted tropes.

  19. We will be independent again soon so watch out anti British wank stains.
    Especially potato heads.
    The Colonial kings back in the game.

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