bro burh burh burh i lovvvvve butts

Truly an exquisite element of the universe.
Otherwise known as the ass,
it expresses nearly every aspect of our lives and what defines our culture today.
A Domics Animation
Ass ass ass ass ass grass bass
Booty shorts.
Do you know why it’s called booty shorts? Because it defines the booty.
It doesn’t define what’s in front.
Besides, you can’t market “vagina shorts” or “dick shorts”.
You get people who are left out, or just disgusted, but booty shorts?
No one gets left out. We all got a booty.
When you’re about to fight someone,
what’s the part of the body people tell you to metaphorically focus?
“Kick his butt!”
Because when your ass is kicked, all of you is kicked. Your ass is you.
When you want someone to come to you, what do you say?
-“Timothy, get your ass over here!”
But when we all say that, we don’t expect just a pair of butt cheeks to appear in front of us.
We expect all of you, because your booty is you.
When you’re about to play that championship game, what does your coach slap?
Your face? No, that’s rude.
Your calves? Nah, a little higher.
Yes, yes, your butt.
The best thing about butts is that it can be sexualized, but it doesn’t have to be.
It can just be a butt.
When you moon someone? Not sexual.
When you at the club grinding on someone?
When you go to the bathroom during class and your friend changes your desktop background to tiled dicks,
it’s disgusting: no one wants to see that veiny atrocity.
Same story if it was a vagina, but a butt, but a bada bada butt—
it’s such innocent vandalism you can’t get mad at that.
When you’re trying to get laid,
yeah, you can get some D or get some pussy.
But all that’s included if you simply say “bro, brah, bruh, bruh,
I’m getting some ass tonight.”
When you lack intelligence, you’re a dumbass.
When you’re wise and cunning you’re a smart-ass,
but is your brain in your butt?
No, it doesn’t have to be.
When you go to pathetic lengths to impress your superiors, you’re a kiss-ass.
When you got some dickhead tailgating you, you want them to get off your ass.
When someone steals your grocery fliers, they’re an asshole.
When you fart and it makes that hilarious sound, it’s actually your butt cheeks clapping.
Applauding your digestive system for its hard work and dedication.
“Such support!”
When you need a word as an amplifier you add “ass.”
Big-ass trees, tiny-ass cup, long-ass road,
even robots have asses! It’s… it’s…
it’s booty-ful.

100 thoughts on “Butts”

  1. I actually don’t have an ass I got it surgically removed after the last time I was at James Charles house

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