Welcome to Pacifist% Part 5
Continuing the only show that’s so family-friendly that it’s probably illegal for your family not to have seen it.
After The Jewel Store Heist everyone is supposed to be lying low and avoiding attention,
so we return to find Franklin in a strip club publicly bragging to his ex-girlfriend
about the large amount of money he recently obtained.
“I don’t care if you got money now. Don’t you get it?”
“Grow up! Stop looking for the easy way.”
Woman, this is Pacifist%, the definition
of not the easy way.
You just can’t please some people.
We now get introduced to the character Stretch
who spent an unknown amount of time in prison for unknown crimes.
He also hates Franklin for reasons that are
not at all explained.
Actually, that’s not very good, let me do that once more.
We move now into the mission Long Stretch where we get introduced to
a generic bad guy who does bad
things because he is bad.
He also hates Franklin because it causes conflicts which gives the main characters something to do.
Lamar and Stretch ask for Franklin’s help with some…
In an effort to continue to lie low, Franklin wholeheartedly agrees to help
in the vague illegal scheme of which he has no details.
I mean cuz what other option is there?
“Ammu-Nation. Armorer to the stars.”
“Eh. What’s up man?”
Before we can proceed we have to go buy ourselves a flashlight for some reason
for the shotgun that we got in an earlier mission.
Because, you know, there’s no way you could finish this mission without a flashlight.
“All right, homie. Get your shotgun with the flashlight modification.”
“Now just let me reinstate, man, that the
purchases made by this man
ain’t got nothing to do with the two
gentlemen of felon nature.”
Oh, don’t you worry, Lamar, I’ll take full responsibility for my flashlight purchase.
I wouldn’t want you going back to jail.
“Eh, we meeting ’em here.”
We arrive at the recycling factory to
meet our business contacts
and Franklin is very surprised to find out who that is.
“Hold on, man. What the fuck, man?”
“You was just kidnappin’ this nigga!”
Gee, Franklin, maybe if you asked for the details before you agreed to do things
you wouldn’t always be so fucking surprised when the details come forth.
“You know these niggas done fucked up!”
“Yo what the fuck this trick talkin’ about, man?”
“Hey, we were set up, nigga!”
“This shit fucked up.”
“Fuck you nigga.”
Reflect on this image for a moment.
This guy’s plan was to get locked into a
room with three guys
after explaining to them that it was all a setup and his gang was coming to kill them.
What did he think was going to happen?
We may have a strong contender for the dumbest character in this game,
which is saying something because that is a fierce competition.
Sensible to shoot him for a second time in the head,
this is a Rockstar game.
I’ve shot many people in the head and they haven’t died.
So the doors that we use to come in are now chain shut,
so we have no choice but to fight our way
through the recycling plant.
I mean, I guess we could climb out a window or, like use our guns to shoot the door open.
But let’s not overthink this, okay?
Thankfully, Lamar and Stretch make quick work of the first room of enemies.
“I said lay low after you got clocked.”
“You lay low, motherfucker. That ain’t me.”
“I can see that!”
I mean, Franklin, isn’t criticizing someone else for not being able to lie low a little bit hypocritical?
“Cover me, homie! I’ma hit this!”
“Dumb ass baby G.”
Well, that might be a little bit of a problem.
My first idea to save Lamar was to simply
ragdoll into the enemies,
but after many attempts I concluded that
this wasn’t very fruitful.
Not even my oh-so very important flashlight had any effect in dissuading the enemy.
Attempting to bypass the scene altogether to get the checkpoint downstairs seemed impossible.
After trying many times I also concluded that I couldn’t even be a human shield for Lamar.
I spent what felt like eons trying to clip out of bounds with movable objects or use them as shields.
Both seemed completely ineffective.
Out of options, I decided with a heavy heart that I would probably have to melee at least the shotgun guy.
Unfortunately, despite my hopes of immediate
progress, it wasn’t meant to be.
As the second enemy would just kill Lamar
after a short amount of time.
Regrettably, it seemed that I would have to rely upon Stretch to take out the second enemy for me.
“Bang this motherfucker!”
Just so you know, Lamar, you can stand.
You don’t have to sit there on the ground trying to unjam your shotgun.
Just hit this dude with it. You’re fuckin two feet away.
Many minutes later, having made no progress, just as I look away Lamar dies for some reason.
Further attempts with this strategy simply led to additional enemies running into the room and killing Lamar.
“Bang this motherfucker!”
I decided to change things up a little by meleeing the other guy and leaving the shotgunner alive.
“Fire ’em up!”
Amazingly, Lamar seems to die, but the game doesn’t register him as dead.
The enemies continue to fire at him, there’s a blue dot
on the map and I don’t mission fail.
Sadly, Stretch after 2 minutes fails to kill a single enemy of all the enemies in front of him.
And Lamar, after receiving hundreds of bullets to the chest finally properly dies.
“This Chamberlain Gangster Families here!”
So what I wanted to do was to abuse Lamar’s half-dead state by killing the second enemy
and then immediately trying to run downstairs to activate the checkpoint.
Alas there were still too many enemies for me to get through even with armor.
I decided that my best course of action was to still rely on Stretch to kill at least some of the enemies
before I try to go downstairs and get the checkpoint.
“Run up on ’em!”
I waited on this locker for 20 minutes and in that entire time Stretch only managed to kill two more enemies.
Worse than this, he seemed unable to kill the guy with the shotgun at the end of the hall
which of course and limits my ability to move through.
Growing impatient, I decided that I should move
into the other room
hoping that the shotgun guy would move up
and directly confront Stretch.
“Look at all these holes, dude, look at that shit.”
“Man, I deserve to get boked.”
“Send ’em back!”
“Never fuckin’ learn.”
*Silent sounds of indescribable pain and regret*
I eventually had the genius idea of standing in front of a set of doors.
This prevented the enemies from opening the doors, meaning I was perfectly safe.
Alas regardless of how many times I tried
either Lamar would end up dying
or I would end up dying jumping through
the enemies trying to get downstairs.
With no other options I resigned myself to
meleeing both enemies.
“Dumb ass baby G.”
I expected Lamar and Stretch to immediately jump through the door and start engaging the enemy,
but of course I was wrong.
Without me to hold their hands they simply stand in the door and repeatedly get shot.
“We’re too smart to get jumped!”
After being stuck on that door for three hours
It was a nice change of pace for the following rooms to go down quite smoothly.
While slow, Lamar and Stretch do manage to kill the enemies in the next room.
“Bang this motherfucker!”
The second that I opened the doors Lamar and Stretch jump through and easily take out the enemies,
making it well worth of that Lamar spent
three hours fixing his shotgun.
The feeling of relief that I had moving into this
room is indescribable, for this as a checkpoint.
I never have to go back to those
fucking doors ever again.
Surprisingly, this room too was very easy.
Almost no complications.
“This fire spreads, right?”
“Ah, is that spreading?”
“Ah, is that getting closer?”
*cries pacifist tears*
How does that make sense?
I die but Lamar can stand there effectively fucking the flames and nothing happens.
That’s just bullshit.
“Man, I deserve to get booked.”
“You goin’ get chipped ol’ bitch ass Balla!”
“There’s a fire door!”
Even though the previous rooms were quite easy,
I didn’t think Lamar and stretch would likely be able to handle the helicopter outside.
Thankfully, you only need to kill the first helicopter,
and it’s not much for threat.
After 5 minutes of waiting I was getting kind of nervous,
so I decided to call the police to seek their aid in shooting down their own helicopter.
“Hello, this is 911, what emergency
service do you require?”
“Thank you, police officers are on route
to your current location.”
“Why they fucking did show up? Oh my god.
What the fuck?”
“Are they the cops I called?”
The police I called did shoot a handful of
times at the helicopter
likely performing the finishing blow
which enabled me to progress.
“I can see the finish line. Come on, homie.”
With that out of the way, all I had to do was grab a vehicle and escape the cops, getting back to Franklin’s house.
“Here we are, man. You go hang with your auntie while the men break it off.”
Could you imagine how long that mission
would have taken me
if I didn’t buy that flashlight at the beginning
of the mission?
I would have been completely fucked!
And so, that ends this episode. Unfortunately, we have to add 2 more to our Running Total for melee.
You may have noticed that I’ve started to record this footage live on Twitch,
so even if people lose interest in this series on YouTube, I will still at least be able to finish it over there.
It is unfortunately a big time commitment
to edit these videos,
but I do hope I can eventually finish the
series here on YouTube.
With that all now being said, I hope to see you next time and I hope you are all doing well.