[Sensual Dornish music]
Playing in the paint, I see
It’s my favorite place to draw fowls
Why are you still here?
I thought your bannermen left long ago
Do you think they can make it home
without you to carry them?
How about a quick duel, James? One on one
Just like old times
I don’t have time for your games, Brodie
Some of us are still in the playoffs
You’re right. I’d hate to break those
SECOND most valuable ankles before your next series
Ay! You come into my casa with so much sass-a
Do your worst, bitch!
Mmm, very nice!
A double Shammgod into The Answer’s crossover
Actually, that was Tim Hardaway’s
I was supposed to let you get the rebound, right?
Now this move here, I used it for my 22nd triple-double
Ha! I used this one for my 42nd
I don’t know why you don’t come to Houston more often
You clearly love to travel
Oh this from a man who leads the league in turnovers?
Game point, James
Time to show off those renowned defensive skills
Ah, but actually, my defense is much improved!
In fact, if you look at the numbers,
you will see that I contested over EIGHT shots per game,
Third most among guards—
Aw, MOTHER FOYLE!
We could’ve had it all, James
If you and the Serpent hadn’t slithered away
OK, Russ. Like this isn’t what you wanted ALL along
To finally be the MAN
All the triple-doubles, the Realm MVP…
Now he does what he wants, right?
…Everything except win
Now if you’ll excuse me
I have to get my ass kicked by the Spurs
And get his ass kicked, they did
Though Ser Beard and his bannermen won the first battle,
House Spurs proved too strong,
vanquishing House Rockets in six games
Elsewhere in the West,
House Warriors made quick work of the Brotherhood with One Banner
and sent House Jazz to a swift demise
When the Pop King and his Soulless Army tried to stop them,
they found silver was no match for gold
Over in the East,
the Hammer of Akron smashed rebellions from House Pacers and the Canadlings
All eyes turned to the one seed,
but the King of the Fourth proved merely
the King of Fourth Place
And so it was written
King James and the Champions of Balleros
against the most powerful house the Realm has ever seen
OK, well maybe second
Second?! Who’s first?
Well, obviously it’s Ser Jordan and his 96 Bulls
Well, some say it’s the Bulls, but others argue
it’s the Showtime Dynasty right here in Los Angeles!
How do we become a dynasty again, Lord Magic?
I want to become a dynasty!
Well, the first step is to trade all the little buggers who send inappropriate ravens
Then, we sign big-time free agents
Like Paul George!
And thirdly, we build through the DRAFT
Yesss! From the fire you are born, my little Lonzo
The Triad of Balls will make the Realm shake
Go forth, and get us our ONE BILLION gold
WAAAAHHHH!!! I want to play for the Lakers, Daddy!
THAT’S MY BOY! MUHAHAHA!