Game of Zones Season 6 FULL Season Binge (Every Episode)

Game of Zones Season 6 FULL Season Binge (Every Episode)


King James! King James!
Here to help our house go right!
You’re going to love it here.
Greatest city in the world.
You’re the next chapter in its long history of greatness.
So wonderful to welcome LeBron to the Lakers family.
We’re definitely going to the tournament this year.
We’d better.
Go back to Cleveland! We don’t want you here!
Seize him!
Long live the Black Mamba!
The real GOAT! Kobeeeeeeee!!!
Knights of House Lakers
tonight we commence what is sure to be a glorious season
the beginning of the end of the long drought.
Here here!
For the King of the East now dons the Purple and Gold.
And together
we will restore the glory of the Greatest House in the Western Realm.
Now please, eat!
Especially you, Ingram.
No, Brandon, you’ve gotta pass to LeBron first now.
Oh, sorry.
You mustn’t burn your tongue, Your Grace
So, I hear you’re to be involved in the production of Sea Jam 2.
Is that correct?
Uh, yes, that’s right.
Oh, delightful!
Well, I was thinking, if you’re looking to, say
reprise Shawn Bradley’s character
I’m a very accomplished Shaqtor…uh…actor.
You’ll never be clutch like Kobe!
Who are these clowns?
Kobedicians.
Kobedicians.
An annoying sect of extremist Kobe fanlings.
This was done by Lakers fanlings?
They’re not Laker fans.
They’re Kobe fans.
They don’t accept LeBron.
They think he’s a soft bitch who can’t play defense.
Watch your tongue, Brandon!
What?
Well, that’s what they say.
LeBron’s a soft bitch.
And he doesn’t play defense.
See?
Kobe.
Alright, let me talk to them.
Don’t bother, LeBron.
You can’t reason with them.
Just…
ignore them.
If I could win back the fanlings
of Cleveland
I can certainly win the hearts
of a few crazy Kobe fanlings.
You can’t make your free throws.
Good people of Los Angeles.
Oh shit, it’s LeBron.
Booo!
You suck!
You’re a stat padder!
Shh shh, give him a chance,
give him a chance.
Like you
I have much respect for Kobe. But I—
Cuz he’s the GOAT
You’ll never be Kobe, bruv.
I’m not trying to be
Well, you should.
Yeah, he’s better than you.
Yeah!
OK.
Well, is there anything I could
possibly do to win you over?
I don’t think there’s nothing.
What if he gave us a billion gold?
No.
What if he got “Kobe” tattooed
on his head?
Definitely not.
No.
Maybe 100 championships?
Six?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Five?
Eight?
Go with that. Go with that.
Yes.
OK?
You gotta win, uh
six championships.
Yeah, yeah, six.
Six, yeah!
Yeah, yeah—no, seven!
Seven!
Six!
What?
You realize Kobe only won five.
Yeah, but he’s a closer, bitch!
He finishes!
I finish!
According to the analytics maesters
I’m actually more clutch than Kobe.
Nah, Kobe’s a killer.
Like a mambaaa!
Hiss!!
Well, I built a school!
Wow!
Oh, you built a school!
Yeah, that’s ’cause you’re soft!
Yeah!
You have nothing to prove to these fools.
They’re just a few nuts living in their parents’ barns.
They’ll come around. Believe me.
Real Kobe fans will NEVER accept LeBron.
Yeah!
He doesn’t have the Mamba Mentality.
Yeah!
Kobe never missed a game-winner!
Yeah!
I have dedicated my life to the worship of Kobe.
And I would rather die than worship the false goat LeBron!
Yeah!
Dominate! Dominate! Dominate!
Any update on the Jimmy…situation?
Handled, my liege
He is in good spirits and should
be returning to practice today
Oh…so he no longer wants to be traded?
Um…well…uh…we’re working…ya know…
Who wants to DIE today???
Ah, that must be him now
KAT, do something!
Don’t worry. He can’t do shit against me.
I hope that means you worked on your defense
I’ll take those two G Realm peasants,
the muffin maker’s boy
and that there mangy goat.
When they mop whatever’s left of you lily-livered cowards off the court,
they’ll wish they traded me sooner!
He doesn’t seem very happy
Oh, that’s just Jimmy
Gotta love the intensity he brings…even to practice
Hallelujah, Wiggins!
Should I send your bones to your brother???
No! Please, no!
You f–king need me!
Ah!!!
Thibby, I just don’t have the stomach for this
This is the best practice all year
Jimmy! Here! The Muffin Boy! I’m open!
He’s motivating them
We yield! We yield! Stop! Stop it, please!
Aw, seems I’ve found the Towns Crier
Hahaha!!!
He’s slaughtering my little Timberpups
Oh, this was supposed to be our year!
Hey you, get me a f–king salad! Balsamic dressing
Actually, no dressing. I’ll use this.
-Oh, dear god
-You just got served muffins and milk!
As we said at House Bulls,
if you’re not mortally wounded, you can still play 48 minutes.
Oh my goodness, is that Andrew’s heart?
Nay. That’s too big.
Pardon me, uh, have you seen my heart?
Not now, Andrew!
Thomas, it might be time to admit this situation is untenable
What? It’s tenable. It’s very tenable.
It’s one of the most tenable situations I have ever…
tended over
Curse these forsaken Twin Cities!
TRADE ME!
Remember, last season we were
a 3 seed before he got hurt
Curse this wretched house!
TRADE ME!
I swear this will all work out just fine if we’re just patient—
And f–k you, Lord Thibodeau!
Your rotations are shit!
Well, I do suppose I like Robert Covington’s hustle
Oh, how exciting is this, Lord Commander?
Jimmy can take us over the top! He could change everything with his intensity!
Oh, here he comes now!
Is that a mini-carriage?
He sure does have a lot of baggage
Um…I’d like to be traded, please
Hello, city of Brotherly Love!!!
Shall we complete this process now?
Sometimes I like to pretend
that I’m King James.
Blessed by the gods to choose my army,
my Lord Commander
and my home
But alas, I am not
I am Ser MarShon Brooks
A journeyman sellsword, who, not long ago,
was fighting in the distant lands of Chai’Nos,
spending years reassembling
what remained of my shattered spirit
only to land a seat
on the dreary benches of Memphis.
But fate is a curious thing
For yesterday,
House Suns requested MY services and offered
REAL assets in return
Ser Trevor Ariza AND picks!
Seems I shall finally prove to everyone
that I AM a knight worthy of minutes.
And what I once feared was my twilight
was in fact,
my dawn.
Welcome to House Suns
Thank you
Ser MarShon Brooks at your service
Wait. MarShon Brooks?
Yes…at your—
OK, we traded for Dillon Brooks
You wha—oh, um…
Dammit, they sent the wrong Br–
House Grizzlies sent the wrong Brooks
Are you bloody serious?
Oh, how the fickle tides of fate recede
as quickly as they crash upon my shores.
And though my sand castles may wither and wash
the deft hands of hope must
always be there to rebuild them.
I return to Memphis with fresh perspective,
renewed spirit
Dearest Jennifer,
I have received your raven,
and I beseech you understand.
I am trying
I tryeth every day
to bring you the ring you so desire…
Watch it. Hey, hey.
Look who we blocked coming down the lane
Well, look who it is!
The Boogie Knight himself
They say our bigs can’t defend
Please! I’ve got a torn Achilles
Oh, OK
Last I saw this lot,
you all were getting swept away
faster than a harassment case at House Mavericks.
Oh please, Boogie
regale us with the tales of
your extensive tournament experience.
Better none than yours
Don’t let him get in your head
Aw…
Good on you all for giving Jimmer another shot
What? No. I’m Nik—
Wait
I’m not going to fall for your hurtful tricks anymore!
You see, it seems the tables have turned!
Unlike you, I have two good Achilles AND friends
We got your back, Nik!
How do you like my sauce now?
Bitch
What a fellowship you all have
Almost makes up for the lack of rings
The Lord of Light…
Hearted Locker Room Chemistry
smiles upon our Brotherhood.
Who smiles upon you, Boogie?
You’ve got no rings and no friends
And which of those can you offer me?
Friends
I’d prefer rings
Well then join us! And together
we shall make it past the second round.
Whoa, whoa
I don’t want this guy here
He’s like, uh, mess with our flow
you know what I mean?
We have like, uh, good vibes and also
like, um, we have same agent
and he says it might affect my minutes.
Doesn’t matter
It’s water under the Bay Bridge
I’m signing with House Warriors
What? No, you can’t—
They’re like an All-Star House
That’s not fair!
That’ll ruin the Realm!
He’s full of it
Everybody knows House Warriors is over the gold cap
They can’t afford you!
No, it’s probably mid-level exception
-Yeah, it’s a mid-level exception
-Yeah, you’ve got the mid-level taxpayers
Oh right, right. The mid-level exception…
I of course know what that is
and fully understand it.
My mind is a buzzin’
For I heard a hot take.
Seems big Boogie Cousins
Turned into a SNAKE!
He rides to the Oak Lands
Where there’s rings all around.
Give his headband a rebrand
As a ring-chaser’s crown.
Oh yes! I love Four Bar Fridays!
Boogie
Dame
The only thing more hopeless than
this brotherhood is your bard career.
-Hey now
-Watch your tongue, Boogie!
You know, I expect you to be a bastard
but a coward too?
I’d rather die than share the court with Curry!
Um…
No, sorry—I mean the good—
I mean Steph
And the rest of those serpents.
Dame, we’ve got no chance!
We had no chance
But we do now
The Lord of Light-Hearted Chemistry is very powerful
To the humble, He giveth…
But to the greedy,
He taketh away.
The Warriors’ defeat can only come from within
No House can bear the likes of Draymond, KD
AND Cousins.
Their golden cup runneth over with assholes
Let him go
Hope you enjoy the regular season
you f–kin’ losers!
I hope you get the f–king eighth seed
so I can see your faces when we sweep you again!
I’ll crush you like I crush my Lord Commanders!
Does he know the way out of here?
He’ll get himself ejected eventually
My mind is a buzzin’
For I heard a hot take.
Seems big Boogie Cousins
Turned into a SNAKE!
He rides to the Oak Lands
Where there’s rings all around.
Give his headband a rebrand
As a ring-chaser’s crown
A raven has brought us
some news that is good.
House Blazers acquired the knight Rodney Hood
My Rip City brethren, rejoice and give cheer
Except for Nik Stauskas,
you’re now a Cavalier.
Wait, what?
Bye, Nik!
Good luck in Cleveland, Nik!
See, look here, DeMar
Draymond’s on LeBron again…
Yeah, it’s like a triple switch or something
Exactly…
What are you reading?
We’re studying.
House Warriors’ defensive tactics against King James
It wasn’t their tactics.
It was their talent.
We have the talent.
We just need smart strategy
and for the gods to finally smile on us.
Maybe they have
DeMar! This is our chance!
King James is gone from our path,
but he is also gone from our excuses.
If we fail to conquer the East this year…
it could be the end for all of us.
My lord, you have always believed in us
We will reward your faith. I swear it
I’m afraid faith is not enough
Here we pay a Northern price for a blessing
The gods demand a sacrifice
Lord Ujiri, I pledge that I will do whatever it takes
Yes. We’d give anything for The Six
I know
Forgive me
Kyle! Wake up! Kyle! Kyle!
Norman?
What are you doing—
It’s a trade. We’re making a trade.
A trade?
Why didn’t anyone tell me?
Well…you know…
you did trade for a horse once…
and I think Lord Ujiri doesn’t include you
Ugh! He’s so annoying!
Excuse me. Excuse me!
Get out of my way
No…no…no…
Kyle!
Don’t let them do it
I won’t
This must be some sort of mistake—
He was here for a long time, not a good time
What? Where’s Lord Ujiri?
It will all be over soon
No! I demand to see Lord Ujiri!
Where is Lord Ujiri???
My Lord…you can’t!
You said you wouldn’t!
Gods’ plan
Drake, have you all gone mad?
If we don’t make a trade,
there will be no banners here.
Oh, is that what they said at House Thunder
when they traded away James Harden?
Ah, man. That’s not the same!
Silver Lord, bless this trade,
for it is fair and for the good of the Realm!
How could you do this to your most loyal knight?
Not just him
Also Jake—Jakob…Pole-tull…
Po-ull-tull… Poyttle… Pelt-el…
Him!
Hello!
All right, summon the Trade Raptor!
Ah! Ah! Ahhh!! No! Noooo!!!!
Bye, Jacob Poortle!
It’s Jakob Poeltl
Please. I’ll do whatever you ask.
I’ll shoot more threes!
Lord Ujiri! How could you do this?
He’s my best friend!
It’s OK. I’ll be your new best friend.
Shush, Norman!
Kyle…please
Is there any other way?
We tried. They didn’t want you.
Please! Please! I’ll try on defense!
I’ll shoot it from anywhere
I’ll shoot it from behind half court
No! No! No! No! Please! Please!
Hi, DeMar!
Oh, hi, Jakob
Wait…WAIT. WAIT!
I almost forgot
We also owe them a first-round pick
Ow. Oh, come on
OK. We’re good. We should be good
Trade Raptor, take these knights to their new house
Wait. DeMar AND a pick?
And Jake Puddle
Argh, get off me!
No! Please, come back! No!
My friend…
Well, whoever we’re getting back…
he’d better be a bloody monster!
So the key here again is spacing.
I need you in the corner,
and if your man so much as looks my way,
then I’m going to get it to you.
Then I go up for three.
Yes.
But ’tis merely a pump fake!
No
I pull the ball down!
I step over the line.
No
I back down the big for
a contested fadeaway two from the elbow.
No. That’s exactly what you shouldn’t do
Chris, you know I can hit that shot over anybody
All day
It’s not about hitting shots
It’s about hitting EFFICIENT shots
Ugh, not you too with this efficiency fad
Whatever happened to the days when
knights would go one-on-one, mano-y-mano
in the paint, in a slow, grinding duel?
Melo…
if you want a role here on House Rockets
you must understand the system.
Study the analytics
I study plenty!
Carmelo, please
I remember when you used to be fun!
Whatever happened to Banana Boat Chris?
He learned how to win
And he wants to teach his friend,
so they can win together.
I want to win…it’s just…
it’s all so boring these days
Analytics, efficiency, defense…
Hm, you know what? Come with me.
I want to show you something
Whoa
Ah, Carmelo!
Welcome to the Johnson Spacing Center
Here, our Maesters test the frontiers of knowledge
to give House Rockets a competitive edge
What’s that?
Why, that’s our namesake. The rocket.
We value long-range weaponry here
House Rockets has never shied away from experimentation
Some produce incredible results
And others….
not so much.
What is this for?
Ah, that was Yao Ming’s chamber pot
Melo, have a look at this
What is that?
Those are moons orbiting another world
Makes you think…
you might not be the center of the universe after all
Huh, so you’re saying I’m just another planet?
No. He’s saying you are a moon
James Harden is the planet
Well, actually, Chris,
I am a star.
And stars should be STARters
Melo
…just needs a headband
And I’m gonna put a hoodie here
Melo, you’re not getting it—
You know, I bet the only reason I’m not starting
is because D’Antoni’s still bitter about New York.
No, no, no…
he’s just working off the Model
The Model?
It’s not possible
I can’t just shoot 30 threes a game
Look right here, James.
If the Model is correct, you could TRIPLE your offense
and pull us out of this slump
But what if I miss them?
I could go 0-for-27 myself!
Ah, but James…
what if you make them?
Aagh! What the— Carmelo?
What are you doing here?
Carmelo is interested in the Model
Really? Analytics? Melo?
OK…
This is the Model
We feed her data, and she gives us answers
untainted by human bias.
Huh, why does she have six arms?
…And four boobs?
Well, she was designed by a bunch of nerds who,
let’s just say…haven’t had too much experience
with the anatomy of a female
Carmelo, you have to understand this machine
it…doesn’t care about your feelings
The Model only knows pure analytics
If this thing truly knows basketball,
then I should have nothing to fear.
Show me how it works
These are your career stats. Let’s feed them in.
Hope she likes empty calories
OK. Model…
should Ser Carmelo be in the Hall of Fame?
Ah, look at that. First ballot
Brilliant.
Now, I want to know what my role here should be
May I?
Oh, uh, sure! Take it away
Model…
what should be my role on House Rockets?
He should’ve dunked that. He had the lane.
This Model is nothing but a hater!
How does this bloody thing even work?
Don’t, Carmelo
That’s where the computers are
Computers? What’s a computer?
Melo, don’t—oh
The computers do all the calculations
needed to run the Model.
Oh, do they?
Well, do any of you even watch basketball?!
You don’t have a good VORP
W-why—what’s with their eyes?!
These poor souls witnessed
the dark ages of basketball in the early aughts.
The endless post plays. The long twos.
Ser Jordan on the Wizards
After a second Finals appearance by House Nets,
they couldn’t bear it any longer.
They gouged out their eyes
But on a positive note,
it turns out they’re perfect
for doing double-blinded analytics
Many became computers
The rest became referees
I don’t like your true shooting…
All right. Well, we really should get going, though.
You’re beginning to taint their judgment
Oh, you feel taller in person
Get off me!
Ser Carmelo, can you sign my abacus?
-No! I need to get out of here
-Nice boots! I like your boots
This is madness!
Well if you’d settle your emotional response,
you’d see it’s all quite logical, really.
No…no…this is all wrong
Your cold, heartless numbers
know nothing of my value
Anyone with eyes
can see the beauty of my game
A 10-time All-Star
behind PJ Tucker, really?
Marquese Chriss, actually—
Well I refuse to accept it, and I’ll never accept it!
Why did you even bring me here?!
Because you’re worth the risk…
at the veteran minimum
Carmelo, Lord Morey has given you a chance,
and it may be the only one you have left
Well, that’s ridiculous. I just need the ball.
I can still take any knight one-on-one!
Just give me the rock and I’ll—
Oh, what. C’mon, he f–ked me in New York
Hm…interesting
Oh, Seven Hells…Austin Rivers?
I can’t wait to share the court with you and
the legendary Ser Dirk.
Would you like to see him?
Is he…uh…
you know…is he like, uh…
His, uh, spirit is strong,
but I am afraid there is not much time left.
OK
He’s down to 10 minutes a battle
Oh my
But come, you will make him very happy
Ser Dirk, remember:
You can fight for this house for as long as you like
Danke, but I don’t have much left…
maybe only…six seasons or something
Six?!
That’s fine…that’s totally fine
Is, uh, now a good time? Ser Kristaps is here to see—
Oh yes, yes!
Dirk, someone special wants to see you
Hello, my Euro father
You shaved your beard, Tyson
-Oh, that’s not Tyson, Dirk. It’s Kristaps!
-It is not him
Oh! Kristaps?
You’re…you’re on House Mavericks?
I am, yeah
Lord Mark, this is…truly a wonderful gift
Oh, it’s nothing
Almost makes up for…
the time I took a giant pay cut…
OK
to stay with House Mavs…
OK, we don’t need to rehash the whole—
and you used the gold on…
Chandler Parsons.
Alright, OK
Not good
OK, well, I will let you boys alone to talk about
whatever European things you guys wanna talk about
like wine and bread and cheese.
I get it. All right. Later, dudes!
Mark is actually…
He’s a very cool guy
Your grace, I want to learn everything you have to teach me
Let me bask in the light of your wisdom
I will tell you what is the most important
Yes. Please.
Loyalty
For 56 years, I have worn only House Mavericks colors,
even as those colors went through
a questionable rebrand.
And though I showed my opponents no mercy,
I made no enemies because I betrayed no house
Tell me,
why did you abandon your house? Your fanlings?
Well…I was on House Knicks, and—
Oh, oh—say no more
OK, yikes, yikes. Never mind.
Kristaps, do you then swear
your loyalty to House Mavericks?
Yes, I do
Well then,
in the name of Dirk Nowitzki of House Mavericks,
I hereby declare you the next Dirk
OK, wait. Hold on
With all due respect, you said
I was the next Dirk, like like a moon ago
Oh…that’s right. OK, yeah.
Kristaps, you will be the next Dirk,
UNTIL Luka comes of age.
Right…but I’m already the go-to knight, right?
I’m scoring roughly 20 points a battle
What if, uh, maybe both of you are the next Dirk?
We’ll do double Dirks
Yeah, you can be double Dirks
Want to be triple Dirks? Could we do triple Dirks?
Triple Dirks? Who is the other—
I think I also told Maxi Kleber that he’s the next me
Ser, our next battle starts in eight hours
We need to start your stretches
Oh, dank—thank you, J.J.
I’ll be right there
All right, boys
Time to play some basketball!
What the hell, Kuz?
Oh, c’mon,
probably would have been more off target if I left you alone.
That arrow cost 200 gold
Who pays 200 gold for—
Ah, right
Wait, weren’t you cutting ties with them?
Yeah, but I got to get that arrow back
It’s going to be a collector’s item
Oh, you must come to my barbershop
But I have a barber. He’s an eyebrow specialist
Hey Lonzo, I’m not sure it’s safe to climb in ZO2 boots!
If Lord Walton sees you,
he’ll give Rondo ALL your minutes.
Shhh! Shut up!
I want nothing more than to be by your side
Oh, think of the fast breaks
I yearn to toss your lobs
Think of the spacing!
Would you let me play power forward?
Yes, anything.
Even though I’m clearly a center?
Oh, whatever you want. Because together,
we will bring back Showtime.
Ugh, too bad Lord Demps would never trade me here
He just hates House Lakers
He’s always been jealous of big markets
Let Rich handle Dell
But you’d have to give up
your entire young core for my rights.
I would trade every single one of them
for just a chance to play with you.
Between you and me,
they’re a bunch of fools and overhyped squires.
Even the Ball boy?
Pfft. Lonzo?
Good riddance to him AND his oaf of a father
And once he’s gone,
we’ll bring in a real Lord Commander
like Jason Kidd
-Wait! Stop! Stop!
-or Mark Jack—son of a—
Are you completely mad?
He saw us. He saw us tampering.
It’s all right. It’s all right. I know.
What should we do with you?
D-d-don’t trade me
I’m really good except for shooting free throws
and three-pointers
and layups,
but, uh…I was the No. 2 pick!
He was the No. 2 pick
The things I do for rings
Ow, ow!
-Ow, my ankle!
-My small Kevin Durant-like frame!
Oh, my bones have shattered like sugar straws!
Oh, come on, guys, shake it off!
You’re fine!
Just a little, uh…playoff push
from the greatest knight in the Realm.
Is someone going to help us up?
Well, I suppose there’s always next year
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.
Welcome to the Sept of Baylor, a shrine to bad front-office decisions,
the kind that have led all of you here to the draft lottery!
Today, we gather in the presence of the lottery gods
to witness the bestowing of the first pick.
I am Mark Tatum, Hand of the High Commissioner
Where’s the Silver Lord?
What, he too good for us?
Yes, actually. And besides, this is…
Yes, actually. And besides, this is…
this is sort of my thing.
Yeah, you know what?
Let’s just take a moment to appreciate Mark Tatum
That’s right!
Let’s give a little love to the guy behind the guy
OK all right. Thanks.
As per tradition, each house has chosen one delegate to represent them
I do question some of your delegate choices,
but then again, questionable decisions are why
many of you find yourselves here.
Um…House Pelicans…
Come on, you know who the fanlings want to see
That’s better
Um…excuse me, House Mavs?
What is this?
We’re, uh, Triple Dirks
OK, well, you gotta pick one representative,
so figure out who is the next Dirk in the next 10 seconds, please.
All right, well, I mean, I’m the most experienced…
Well, I’m clearly the face of House Mavericks
And I’m from Dirk’s hometown
so yeah…I mean it’s hard
We all have really good cases
All right, you know what? I’ll let you guys sort this out next season
House Lakers?
-Get out there
-All right. Get off me
Hi
Hey
OK, so, we’re all good?
Everyone knows how this works?
Uh…not really
Right. Well, each house will have a chance to make
their final plea to the lottery gods as to
why they should get the first pick.
So, who would like to be the first to make a claim?
Great, the goat…made poop on the floor
Excuse me?
No, not you
Sarver, why is there a goat here?
Because it’s a metaphor and it’s FUNNY
OK, well, please send a new representative down
Preferably a human
OK, the floor is open
Oh…I’ll take a stab here
I would say to the gods
that you should give House Kings the first pick because—
Actually, no, it would go to the Sixers
Aw, crap, yeah…
OK, gods, you should give House Kings the second pick—
No, then it would go to House Celtics, I believe
Wait, what? Who made this—I made this
Ugh
OK, do some—someone else should go. I don’t want to.
No house has fallen harder than that of the Grizzly
Ser Gasol is gone,
but Chandler Parsons—and his stupid contract—remain
Eh, could be worse
Bless us, oh lottery gods, with the squire Zion,
so that Grit and Grind may rise again,
as a bane to all Western powers.
The great House Knicks has not had a first pick in over 30 years
Lord Fizdale?
We finally have cast off our overrated European big man
to make room for the Great Zion
Please, gods, take that for data,
and give House Knicks the first pick.
Oh yeah, please
If House Knicks gets Zion, they’ll just
send him away in another terrible trade, right?
Rude!
You, Ser Kristaps, are now banned from The Garden!
OK, you can’t just ban an opposing knight from your arena
You’re banned, Mark!
Does anyone else want to make a plea to the gods?
Ah, Ser Devin. Welcome.
Screw House Suns!
They rejected our alliance
and stole the first pick from us last year.
Yeah, they already have Luka!
No they don’t
Wait, so who did you guys take?
I think Trae Young
Huh? What?
We took Deandre Ayton
Oh, yeah
How’s he been this year?
He’s actually pretty solid…
Yeah?
Uh, yeah, he’s quietly having a decent squire season
-Oh, that’s good to hear
-You like to hear that
Ser Anthony Davis?
You want to make a plea for House Pelicans?
Yes
Read this, and we will trade you to House Lakers
Not that part. Don’t read that part!
Ah, right. OK, let’s try this again
We, House Pelicans, are but a humble house,
and we kindly ask you for your blessing.
Zion is the hero that House Pelicans needs,
a knight who can take us further than one playoff series win…
…in seven seasons.
We once had a transformative, all-realm knight,
but he lacked the fortitude to take…
the fortitude it takes to commit to a small market.
OK, it’s MY fault? That I—
Sorry I couldn’t beat House Warriors with Jrue Holiday
and half a season of Boogie Cousins.
Um, thank you, AD…
House Cavs, would you like to make your case?
If the gods truly care to see the squire Zion flourish,
they should give the first pick to House Cavs,
where he will be surrounded by championship-caliber veterans
and a Lord who knows how to win.
Oh, please. You know, there’s a reason I left…
twice.
Oh yeah?
Because you’ve made House Lakers such
a welcoming place for young talent?
Who’s fitting out now?
Hey Kevin?
Yes, LeBron?
I miss you.
I…
I miss you too
All right, guys…
let’s maybe keep the overt tampering to a minimum.
OK, then. Who’s next?
House Hawks?
Wait, every house here has to go? Ugh.
Yes. House Hawks, please go ahead.
All right
Um, dear lottery gods, our house is on the rise
If Zion joins us—
maybe 42-year-old Vince Carter
won’t have to play 17 minutes a battle
OK, who else? Minnesota?
I mean, how many No. 1 picks
do you guys need to make the tournament?
Apparently more than three
This is fun
Hey, do us
No
Who else? House Wizards?
I mean, who wouldn’t want to play with Dwight Howard?
By the way,
when does John Wall’s supermax start?
Next year?
Asking for a friend
OK, who else we got? House Bulls?
Oh yeah, I’m sure Zion wants
to spend his first year having knights-only meetings
-about how many push-ups are OK.
-OK. OK. All right. LeBron…
please show a little respect.
For many of these houses,
this is the highlight of their season.
Here, here!
Oh yeah, and why is that?
Maybe instead of looking to the gods,
you all should be looking at yourselves.
Rubbish houses with uninspiring Lord Commanders,
foolish masters of trade,
arrogant lords
You’re banned!
These are things a knight,
no matter how great, can’t overcome.
I learned that the hard way
Zion may be the Prince who was Promised,
but he will not save you.
Because if you don’t give a GOAT the support he needs,
then he’s gonna walk out the door.
and all you’re gonna be left with…
…is poop on the floor.
All right
Well, on that note…
why don’t we go ahead and see who got the first pick?
And the winner of the Zion lottery is…
House Pelicans!
[Murmurs of disappointment. Gayle Benson cheers ecstatically.]
Your Grace?
You wanted to see me?
Yes
I like to pretend they’re…little eggs
You see, the lower houses,
they are the hens.
And I…
am the fox that snatches their little babies.
You’ve collected so many…
So much talent
almost, uh, too much
In Bostonia, there is no such thing as too much.
I know one thing
Lord Pop would have never lost control of this house
Pfft…Spurs of the East…
Lucky for you,
there’s one last road trip before the tournament starts.
I suggest you find a way
to get our knights on the same page.
Or else…
You would never. This city loves me.
Like they loved The King in the Fourth?
Get it done
Unbelievable we gotta share a tent with the rotation guys
We was the heroes last year!
If you’re feeling cramped, expand your mind
Squires these days…so entitled
Better stop calling us squires, Marcus
You don’t scare me, Terry
You think you’re some wise veteran—
What is that?
I’ve seen that before. That there is a Soul Box.
When you sign with House Spurs,
your soul and personality go into that box.
So it’s like a…Spurs culture thing?
I didn’t want it to come to this
but there is too much talent here in this room
for us to be treading water in the fourth seed.
The Soul Box will help us contain our emotions and our egos,
so that this group can reach its potential.
Also makes you dull as dirt
That thing’s the reason nobody heard of me in San Antonio
Oh, yeah. That’s the reason.
I’ll do it
All right, Al
I want you to close your eyes and place your hand on the box
Ser Al Horford,
do you hereby commit fully,
to sacrifice your soul for the good of House Celtics?
Aye
So did it work or what?
He didn’t flinch!
All right, who’s next? Anyone?
I’ll do it
OK, no. Lucky—
Gimme that box. I’ll do it.
-Put my soul right in that box
-Thanks, Lucky, but this is for knights
Marcus the Smart?
I…I can’t. I’m sorry. My whole game is about emotion.
Jaylen?
Uh, I’m just worried about my brand is all
What about you, Kyrie?
Ha, subjugate the light of my soul to your rectangular prism?
No way…
I can’t even commit to next year
Wow…what a leader
OK, then why don’t you do it?
Well, I just…
don’t want to jeopardize my Mamba Mentality is all.
Yeah, gods forbid you stop shooting 20-footers
Yeah, gods forbid you stop shooting 20-footers
Oh, please. You’re one to talk.
-Oh, I’m Jayson Tatum. I’m the man.
-Very funny.
I’m going to House Pelicans to be the man!
All right, guys. Come on!
You know what? Clearly, this was a bad idea, OK?
You guys are obviously not the Spurs,
and I am clearly…not Lord Pop.
No…you’re not
You’re Brad Stevens.
The best X’s and O’s man I’ve ever known
Yeah, nobody can write out-of-timeout plays like you
Yeah, well, unfortunately,
there’s no timeout long enough for me to fix all of THIS team’s issues.
But what if there was
Who said that?
The Time Lord…
Wait, ‘Time Lord’? I thought that was just a nickname.
There’s a lot of things people don’t know about me
Don’t get enough minutes
Tell me about it
But I’m pretty versatile. I can rebound, I can block,
and I can stop time.
Where’d you learn how to do that?
Texas A&M
But you were only there for two years!
…or was I?
Whoa
So how does one just…stop time?
Just asking questions here
It’s a magic potion…called So’Da
Banned in the realm since Jason Kidd used it against House Lakers,
late in a battle when he had no timeouts left.
Exactly how long are we talking about here?
It will last till either you’ve
come up with a way to solve our problems…
or 34 years…whichever comes first
Why 34?
It’s the Truth…
34 is the Truth’s number
The guy who’s worse than Dwyane Wade!
Actually, no. That’s just how much So’Da I have.
All right, you’ve got this, Lord Commander!
Yeah!
-You’re Brad Stevens!
-You’re a freaking genius!
-You’re smartest in the realm!
We know you can do this, Lord Commander!
Are you all mad?
Do you really think he can just come up with some
magical out-of-timeout play that’s gonna fix all of our chemistry issues?
Yeah, you know what? I do.
Because I’m Brad F–king Stevens
Time Lord, ready when you are
All right
Time…
OUT
OH F–K
Lord Commander?
You look like you’ve aged—
34 years. Yep.
So you…you didn’t…?
Nope
So, what’s all that?
Mostly just gibberish. I gave up 20 ago, actually.
What’s THAT?
All right,
I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
Bad news first
Lucky got frozen in time with me
The So’Da spilled on him
Oh, no. What have I—
Unfortunately for Lucky,
he swore a blood oath to always perform during timeouts,
obviously never thinking he’d, well…yeah.
But he kept performing. He was juggling. Dancing.
Doing those wacky dunks
Man, was he funny
By year two, he was mostly performing stuff that could be done from a chair,
like balancing bowls, singing, whatever.
It was around year three where…he stopped talking
He was just miming and deliriously flailing his arms
By year four, I thought he was doing this long bit
where he would just play dead.
By year five, I realized…
it wasn’t a bit.
So, um…
what’s the good news?
Well, I came up with a few pretty clever inbound plays
that might get us to the second round.
And together, we’ll rule the world…
from edge to edge.
Thank you, Kyrie. I’ll be in touch.
What’s ​he​ doing here?
Oh, he was just…
asking questions.
What are ​you​ doing here?
I thought it was quite generous we
let you hang around for six battles.
Now you’re just being greedy with my time.
Clearly my defense has yet to earn your respect.
I respect your​ effort​…
and I heard you said nice things about me after the battle.
You’re a worthy opponent.
If you like me as your opponent,
you’d love me as your teammate.
Free-agent talk will wait until​ after ​the tournament.
Oh, come on. Have a little fun…
gods know you’re not having any here.
If you want some scrub, go to an eliminated house.
If you want a king…
earn him.
Wow, pure gold.
It’s funny. I thought your throne would be made of salt.
You’re insolent. I’ve dropped 40 on men for less.
They were lesser men.
Oh, please. Didn’t I just drop 50 on you?
We’re done here.
Well then,
I guess good luck in New York.
Who says I’m going to New York?
Oh…everybody.
The Garden is the biggest stage in the Realm.
I would be the GOAT if I turned that house around.
And if you fail…on this
“biggest stage in the Realm”?
Wah! Can’t win with those cats.
Listen to your burner. You can’t win with those cats.
What you need is a dog.
A hungry, loyal hound.
You’re proud to be a dog, eh? That’s a new one.
Men love dogs.
What they loathe are snakes.
If you’re trying to lure me to House Clippers,
you’re doing an awful job.
You know, now that I think about it,
House Clippers would be a terrible fit.
I mean, we all know you only take…
the hardest road.
And House Clippers would be…smooth sailing, really.
You’ve got Lord West, builder of empires,
two max slots, the best lord commander in the Realm
and a bunch of hungry, loyal dogs just looking for their alpha.
It’s almost too easy.
And besides,
if you came to Los Angeles,
It would be so unfair to King James.
Upstaged night after night in his own city,
by the man who was always second-best.
You know, for a free agent, you’re very loyal to House Clippers.
Loyalty is what dogs do best.
Hey, uh, KD?
It’s my turn to sit on the throne.
I should be going.
You’ve been very generous with your time.
We should talk.
Well, maybe if you didn’t miss all those threes…
We got jinxed by The Truth…
He’s a bloody monster!
Who could’ve expected Fred VanVleet?
Men, we gather today to celebrate
For if the whispers are true,
Ser Giannis will be anointed the Most Valuable Knight.
Thank you, but how can I be deemed the ‘most valuable’
when I couldn’t even get us to the Finals?
King James used to crush House Raptors without breaking a sweat.
They were a different house then. They didn’t have that…monster.
We should be proud. We won 60 battles this year.
Yes, but it is all for nothing.
Our tournament is over. The offseason has come.
If the Maesters are right, Durant will be heading East,
which means it’s going to be hard for us to even make conference finals again.
We should ride home. We should test the market.
Maybe sign with House Pelicans again? Or House Bulls?
I hear House Lakers needs talent.
As a former knight of House Suns,
I know misery, and this is not it.
Sure, we’re defeated, but we are not without hope,
for we have the honor of fighting alongside true greatness.
Not just of skill, but of character.
The King of the North may rule the East for now,
but I recognize only one true king.
And his name is long and full of letters.
Giannis Antetokounmpo is my king from this day until his last day.
And you know what? I DO want to be here.​
Last year, I fought side by side with King James.
I didn’t think we’d find another GOAT in the East…
not in my career.
But I was wrong!
Giannis is not only the Most Valuable Knight in the Realm. He is
The King in the East!
Assuming Kawhi leaves, of course!
I remember the days when Brandon Knight was our​ best ​knight…
or maybe it was Ramon Sessions.
As Giannis has grown, so has the dignity and respect of this house.
We have not known hope like this
since the days of Ser Alcindor and the Big O…
and it’s all thanks to Giannis.
The King in the East!
To next year!
-The King in the East!
-To next season!
-The King in the East!
-To the future!
-The King in the East!
-The King in the East!
-The King in the East!
Oh, how quickly they forget
Nine years, I ruled the East.
From 3-1 down, I slayed the Warriors
From the brink of baldness, I have restored my hairline
And from the ashes of a lost season…
I will return.
Rested
Reborn
Re-groined
To reclaim my throne
As the true king…
Of…the…
Sea!
Jam!
All right. Cut, cut!
JaVale, you dunked on the wrong basket
And Melo, what are you doing in front of me?
Why aren’t you in the banana canoe?
Because I’m a star, Lebron
And stars should be in leading roles
All right, well, hold on—
Matt Barnacle, stop strangling Derek with the fishing wire
Well, it says here in the script that I swam 95 miles to kick his ass
so I figured I’d—figured I’d do it.
Completely uncalled for!
You’ll never be Kobe, LeBron!
-Yeah, you ain’t never gonna win an Oscar!
-Yeah!
OK, can someone get those guys out of here?
Also, where did Magic go? He was supposed to be here.
Um, excuse me?
Can I play Kevin of Durant in the Monstarfish?
No, Brandon. You’re—you’re in the wave.
Ugh, I think we need to do a rewrite.
This is just not working.
I stand by it
I’d take Mike Muscala over Brook Lopez a hundred times out of a hundred
[sigh]
You know, Larry?
I’m really glad I quit House Lakers
Now I can just watch battles and send ravens,
hang out with you, my best, rival-friend,
and none of it’s tampering!
Ugh, I just wish there was a way to know when a new Game of Zones came out
Subscribe! Subscribe!
Come on, Larry. Use your person voice
What I was saying, you idiot–
Ah, bup! No trash talk, Larry Bird
We’re past that
If you just hit the “subscribe” button…
they will notify you when a new Game of Zones comes out

100 thoughts on “Game of Zones Season 6 FULL Season Binge (Every Episode)”

  1. If you r doing a free agency special please mention Steph curry with a 40 inch vertical PPPPPLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZ

  2. I'm sorry but you got to start this season early before NBA season starts we need at least 30 episodes due to free agency

  3. Omg. You guys have to lampoon the Raptors Patrick McCaw for getting 3 rings in 3 years as a bench player. 2 with Golden State then getting moved to the Raptors and getting the 3rd. He technically has a 100% championship win ratio lol. He’s perfect in his career (lol soon to change next season) and thus needs to be addressed….in a clowning way.

  4. My Mind is a Buzzin for I heard a hard take,
    Seems Big Boogie Cousins turned into a Snake,
    He rides to Oakland’s with his rings all around,
    Give his headband a rebrand as a ring chasers crowned.

    A raven has brought us, some news that is good,
    House blazers acquired the knight Rodney Hood,
    My rip city brethren rejoice and give cheer,
    Except for Nick Stouskis your now a Cavalier.

    The Playoffs are over and Free agency starts,
    And Big Boogie Cousins is broke in his heart,
    He lost in the finals and now has no rings,
    And soon he will sign to play for The King.

  5. Easter Egg: on journeymen, you can see a billboard that says sea jam 2, a reference to lebrons song at the end of the season

  6. anyone notice jimmy pulled Andrew wiggins heart out on the right side, but your hearts supposed to be on the left.

  7. "Almost makes up for the time I took a giant pay cut…to stay with House Mavs…and you used the gold on….Chandler PAWRSONS…who'se….not good."

    Oh my fucking god did that crack me up LOL

  8. 17:58 Kyle Lowry: "Well, whoever getting back he'd better be a bloody monster!

    Kawhi Leonard traded

    Result: CHAMPIONSHIP

  9. Whenever the kobe fans said that kobe never missed a game winner the game where he airballed the game winner popped in my head

  10. Bleacher Report for the first episode of the next season, you could do Kawhi leaving in the championship parade to go to a secret room. In the room, it reveals his master plan (Leave Spurs, Win Toronto a Championship decimating a dynasty, leave for LA). Then Danny would enter the room, then let him do the Kawhi laugh.

  11. When kuzma pushed LeBron that was jab at a real situation when kuzma had to literally push LeBron to go defend a player smh

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