Gaming Toothbrush


Introducing the world’s first-
The world’s first-
…gaming toothbrush
“I can play video games…
…while I’m brushing!”
“The better I brush…
…the higher my score.”
Look at this piece of shit.
I can’t-
I can’t-
play with this…
It’s a piece of shit!
What I need…
…is Grush.
“Grush is short
for the gaming toothbrush.”
“Let’s see how Charles and his little brother David
enjoy their new gift.”
“This game – “Monster Chase”
instructs children in proper brushing technique
by having them wipe out strategically placed monsters-“
Yeah but can it play Knack?
Huh?
“We have achieved what we call…
Tooth to Tooth navigation.”
Buh-bye.
“I have a magic toothbrush!”
“It beats all of the monsters in my mouth!”
Look at Nintendo’s stock here and the week leading up to the Switch reveal.
Then…
Boom.
We have the Grush reveal.
This thing is obsolete before it even comes out now.
“We have a new flossing attachment…
…with the brand new flossing game.”
(wheeeeeeew)
“So you have more than one game too, you have different…-“
“-Yeah, we have several games…
…and we’re thinking about doing an MMO.”
Look at these miserable people using a normal toothbrush.
They look depressed.
They look like they have nothing to live for.
Now, look what it’s like to brush…
…with Grush.
(buzzzzzzz)
(pow)
(bam-pa-pow)
(pow)
(fa-thud)
(bam)
“Congratulations!…
…you have gotten one of your first of badges!”
“The game is now done.”
(pow)
Damn.
I can’t believe I missed that shot.
If only I had my
stupid fucking Grush.
“Do you think that this is something that adults could do as as well?”
“This is our adult game.”
(intense music)
“Hello. My name is JE-
Charles, this is David,
and we both *love* Grush.”
“When can we download the game?”
“In six months!”
“Go Grush!”
(ding)

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