Hasan Retakes The SAT Exam | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

Hasan Retakes The SAT Exam | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix


Hey guys, it’s Hasan Minhaj from Patriot Act.
Hey guys, it’s Hasan Minhaj from Patriot Act.
Here I am at The Princeton Review
on a Saturday morning
much like so many nervous brown children.
Now, for those of you guys who don’t know,
Now, for those of you guys who don’t know,
on the first episode of Patriot Act,
the Affirmative Action episode,
I bared my soul in front of the entire world.
I told everyone what my SAT score was
which is really really really really really gutsy.
I got a 1310 on the SAT.
And that opened up the floodgates.
People on the Internet started making fun of me.
A girl in the front row started making fun of me.
So here I am to redeem myself, today.
I am going to take the SAT 16 years
later and prove myself.
Hasan, here we are. Big day.
Don’t disappoint us. Do well – OK?
Here’s your lunch.

I am very nervous for you.
Why?
Because I heard it’s a hard test.
I hope you do well.
You think I won’t do well?

I’m praying that you will do well.

Alright, let’s do the test.
I’m going to go through a couple
of housekeeping things
but most importantly I’m going to go
through the structure of the exam.
but most importantly I’m going to go
through the structure of the exam.
We’re going to be spending a solid 3 hours together.
We’re going to be spending a solid 3 hours together.

Alright, here we go.
Alright.
Folks, the SAT is divided into four different
sections, they are up on the board.
Number one is the reading section.
It is the marathon section, 65 minutes.
Then you’ll have a short ten minute break…
[VOICE TRAILS OFF]
[VOICE ECHOES] “Don’t disappoint us…”
“But don’t get nervous…”
“Three hours of time…”
“1310…”
“Redemption…”
“UC Santa Cruz…”

[VOICES COLLIDE]
You’re going to do brilliantly, I can feel it in the room.

Why does this say the page is left blank?
Folks there is no talking during the exam.
It disturbs other people.
I’m not talking to them I’m asking you.
I understand there’s no talking
to the instructor, the proctor,
anybody else in the exam. Sorry, sir.

Do we…
Do we all have the same test?
So this is just a safe question technically…
Can I use the bathroom?
I don’t know how to use this.
If I don’t talk to them but if I go outside can I-
Folks, I’m not answering any more questions.
We’re keeping to our time.
We have exactly 35 minutes left.

Ok this is the first break.
Here’s the thing. I’m in over my head.
I came in hot. I thought reading
comprehension was great.
I knew what I was talking about.
I know English.
I can just read stuff.
There is a thing about a lady named Ellington, I think.
At one point I just did the Mortal Kombat blood code.
I said A, B, A, C, A, B, B, A, B, A, C, A, B, B…
And that has gotten me through
a lot of things in Sega Genesis so
I assumed it would work on the SAT.

Here’s the problem,
I think Robert the proctor has it out for me.
I tried to ask legitimate questions,
every time he Dikembe Mutombo’d me.
The girl behind me is also a hater.
At this point I have no idea what to do because
math with a calculator became
a guessing game at the end.
One of my deepest insecurities is getting so
low that I don’t get into UC Santa Cruz.
87
00:03:11,800 –>00:03:11,600

It’s starting to get to a point where I
think 1310 might be good on the SAT.

C…C…C…C…C…C…

Ok folks, that is time.
The SAT is now over.

[SCREAMS]

Well done. Answer sheets in your booklets.
Hand them in to be graded.

Give it to me practically.
Can I get into Stanford?
No.
Can I get into UCLA?
No.
UC San Diego?
No.
UC Davis?
No.

UC Santa Cruz?

Maybe.
Jesus Christ.
Your total score…

is 1030.
[ECHOES] 1030…
“I got a 1310 on the SAT”
“and every Indian and Asian person is like,
‘1310… You are a moron.’”
[ECHOES] “You are a moron..”
[ECHOES] “1030…”

NAJME: That’s pretty good, Hasan.
ROBERT: I agree.
NAJME: Good job.

100 thoughts on “Hasan Retakes The SAT Exam | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix”

  1. Back when the SAT was 1600, I took it without any type of preparation and didn't take it seriously in the slightest. I spent most of the test time goofing around trying to impress the girl sitting next to me. My score? 980.

    Side note: I was always a High Honors student and never had to study for an exam throughout high school. I thought I could fly by the seat of my pants for the SAT. I thought wrong. Do you think I learned my lesson? Nope. I spent my first semester of college dicking around and got a 2.4 GPA. I finally straightened out, and graduated in 2010 with my Bachelor's in Mathematics.

    And now I'm an exotic dancer for Chippendale's

  2. 1310 isn't bad wtf that just makes me feel bad I haven't taken the sat yet since I'm a sophomore but I'll be taking it soon but I'll keep thinking about how ppl consider such a good score bad
    I feel like I won't score well I want to cry

  3. I hope the rest of these people are extras, it's kinda fucked up to bring in a camera crew, try to violate the rules and subject students to it. I mean, I think this is a great concept, I just hope the poor students who really need this don't suffer for the show's bit.

  4. Y’all get breaks AND get to use a CALCULATOR??? You guys would flip during 3 hour long board exams.

  5. My favorite moment of the part at the end of the test (besides Hasan's freakout, of course), is that you can hear Dr. Frank laughing at his reaction behind the camera (3:58)! I don't know if that was left in on purpose or if they just didn't notice it because they were too focused on his freakout, but that really sums up that moment perfectly (both how Hasan is feeling, and how we all feel watching him)!

  6. When 3 of your friends get a 36 on the ACT and a 1540 on the SAT freshman year and want to retake the SAT because they said they'd score higher. I'm looking at my 1300 practice score like what the hell.

  7. Listen bro. The SAT has changed like 14 different times since the first time you took it. Not to mention they made the tests harder. A great score when you originally took it would be a poor score for the new SATs. Don’t sweat it.

  8. I don’t know if it’s cause I’m not American or not like… 1310/1600 doesn’t seem that bad at all so

  9. What only 3 hours that would cover one ordinary leaving very maths paper. Not the whole leaving cert. Jesus. How bad can it really be

  10. Wooooow your doing the sat and only 3 hours try doing the leaving cert we have 8 exams all over two hours each and they aren’t multiple choice like the sat

  11. "The girl behind me is also a hater" bro, I'd be too if you were making that much ruckus in the middle of a test. 😂

  12. My first time I got a 1440 which made my dad send me back to sat prep for those extra 60 points because 1500 or "no way any good college will accept you in". I proceeded to disappoint them by going to an average state college (average as in not distinguished like ivy league) that was right for me but had an average sat score of 1100. Chinese parents, will never hear the end of "could have"s have them.

  13. Hey Hasan, don't let a stupid score let you down. I'll be honest with you that my score was worse if not insanely bad when I was in high school. I'm not gonna say my score cause I think Georgia tech may rescind me if they see this but just know it was worse than ur current score. I went to a community college and worked my ass off trying to transfer there, and knowing the feeling that I got in and I made my parents proud has been a huge step forward. Thus, for anyone reading this, that score is a utter waste of money and time. Just take some exam and get into community college for 1-2 years and then transfer to your dream school. I hope this helps those who are depressed and cannot bare the fact that they got a bad score. In addition, community college might have a bad image, but tbh it probably was the best college experience I have ever had. I can't wait to graduate and go to a smaller campus near home.

    Moral: don't let a number define you, take some time and find an alternative route. However, keep your mind focused on it.

  14. I have been crying for 3 days about my SAT Score. But I honestly feel better about it now. Because Hasan didn't get the highest score but he is happy and has a career and he's doing fine overall. And I have hope again now.

  15. What does 1030 mean as I’m from the uk and don’t take the SAT’s and don’t use that type is scoring??

  16. Can someone explain to me how these tests work bc they seem to be nothing like exams in my country and I'm so confused right now 😂

  17. the whole time I was thinking how is it possible those are real students taking a SAT, with the possible distraction of a film crew? Now I'm guessing it was a practice exam and they might be actors??

  18. We all do know that the creator of the SAT was a dude who though intelligence had to do with skin color. Not that it has anything to do with his score but stilll

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