Honest Trailers – Saw

Honest Trailers – Saw


From a production company that sounds like
they make porn
comes a film with the same production value
as a porn.
In the low budget hit that transformed the
horror genre
into straight up torture porn.
Saw.
See Saw, a great idea for a student short
film that somehow got
stretched into 6 feature length sequels,
two videogames,
and one super fun rollercoaster!
When two strangers wake up in your typical
Taco Bell bathroom
the only way out is to patiently use the various
saws,
slabs,
and guns to weaken their chains until they’ re
able to break free.
But instead of the obvious, prepare for 100
minutes of
reminiscing,
“I don’t remember how I got here.”
playing catch,
and dramatically reaching for stuff.
“My family needs me!”
Almost…have another…idea…
Nope!
Tremble before the Jigsaw killer,
a psychopath who combines the traps
of Wile E. Coyote
with the terrifying puppetry of Jeff Dunham.
“Hello, Amanda. I want to play a game.”
Come, saw, and conquer the first in a long
line of cheaply made gornos, featuring
the claustrophobia of being trapped in a room
because there wasn’t the budget for more
locations,
the panic of the fast-paced editing
because there wasn’t the budget for better
effects,
and the cringe-factor of watching the movie’ s
screenwriter try to act
“You could be the one who put me in this room!”
“The same thing happened to me, see!”
“Lawrence, calm down! There must be a way
out of this!”
because there wasn’t the budget for professional
actors.
So settle in for the one that started it all,
full of cool, well thought out traps
that the sequels turn into complete parodies
of themselves.
“You must press both buttons at once in the
box before you. However, in doing so, you
will give a sacrifice of your own. Two can
live, four will die –“
Ugh, what the f*** is this guy talking about?
And horrific violence happening off-screen
that the sequels turn into the star of
the franchise.
Who watches this stuff?!
Go to starring, go to starring!
Starring…
Kristen Bell
Robin Hood: Man in Chain
Dental Plan (Lisa Needs Braces)
Awesome Mix, Vol. 1
Rush Hour
This Guy
The Bad Guy From Lost
I Think She’s On Parenthood?
Filth
and Cher
Saw 1: You’ve Saw Them All
Hey, at least it’s not a found footage movie!

100 thoughts on “Honest Trailers – Saw”

  1. Dental plan. Lisa needs braces. Dental plan. Lisa needs braces. Dental plan. Lisa needs braces. Dental plan. Lisa needs braces. Dental plan. Lisa needs braces.

  2. I saw the first Saw and actually found it interesting. Not sure enjoyable can be applied to something like this lol. But holy hell did they go overboard after that. Not really interested in meeting the people who came up with some of that stuff.

  3. “Reminds me when horror tried to supplant horror with gore, I mean it’s got kind of a gross factor but at the end of the day it’s all just a bunch of blood”
    —Markiplier 2014.

  4. Wait a minute, was it really that violent? Watched all movies in a week, it was amazing, don't remember all this blurred stuff somehow. I mean, I understand that it wasn't blurred in the movies but even unblurred it did not seem as violent as here lol

  5. The first time I saw it I was at a family member's house, they had a copy of it in their movie draw. There was no case, just had Saw written on it, I didn't know anything about it and threw it on. I've never made that gamble since lol.

  6. Strap on your measuring tape, grab a 2×4, lay down the lumber and let the saw dust fly. When a diagnosis goes wrong. One man will seek out people, seek out traps, seek puzzles pieces and seek revenge. RUN & SEEK- NR17

  7. Amazing how you consider this has some merit but acid-attack Showgirls from the opening second — guess all that sexy-time stuff was a bit traumatic for the team, huh? I mean, far too many characters survived for your taste..

  8. I was already in tears when you opened with "from a production company that sounds like they make porn" – classic.

  9. Mate, you surely deserve a subscribe for "Cher". I can't get that f*cking smile off my face. Cheers! 😀

  10. The horror genre hit rock bottom the moment the saw movies came out. Then it sank even lower with paranormal activity. Now well it's pretty much dead in the water.

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