Honest Trailers – Skyfall

Honest Trailers – Skyfall


Prepare for the 50th anniversary of the Bond
franchise
with a new film by the director
whose most famous action scene to-date was
this.
Skyfall: the overrated movie that thrilled
audiences worldwide –
only because it was way better than Quantum
of Solace.
Suit up with 007, the super secret MI-6 agent
who everyone knows by his real name.
“Bond.”
“Mr. Bond.”
“Mr. Bond.”
“James Bond.”
“James Bond.”
In an opening so action-packed, you’ll forget
to ask yourself:
Why didn’t the conductor stop this train when
it’s entire back carriage was ripped off?
And why aren’t these people scared?
When Bond is abruptly killed, it’ll only take
the link of one Adele song
before he anticlimactically pops up in the
most secluded corner of the globe
that conveniently has CNN in English.
“Within minutes of the explosion.”
But when Bond returns to the high-stakes world
of espionage, he’s faced with:
word association,
“Bird.”
“Sky.”
office politics,
“The prime minister’s ordered an inquiry.
You’ll have to appear.”
art theory,
Judy Dench frowning
… a lot,
and absurdly long landscape shots.
Meet Raoul Silva, the Bond villian we’ve been
waiting for
… because he doesn’t show up until half
way through the movie.
An antagonist with a plan so complex, he
wants to get caught but makes it nearly impossible
to find him,
knows months ahead of time the exact place
to plant explosives during a chase he didn’t
even know was going to happen,
and makes Bond gay.
“Oh, Mr. Bond.”
Discover the latest in super-secret gadgetry
like
a gun,
a knife,
a shot gun,
an old-timey gun,
dynamite,
and a tracking device larger than the one
Bond used in the 60’s.
“Here’s a nice little transmitting device.
It’s fitted into the heel of your shoe.”
Bond will use these tools to hunt down a terrorist
who stole a list of secret agents.
“The computer drive containing the identity
of almost every NATO agent.”
… which the writers stole from the plot
of Mission Impossible.
A film with action so artsy, you’ll strain
to watch fight scenes shot in total darkness.
An ending so goofy, they just ripped it off
from Home Alone.
[goofy music]
And a hero so sexually aggressive, you’ll
wonder:
isn’t he sort of raping that former child
prostitute?
[gunshot]
Jesus.
Starring
Jason Bourne
Fred from Scooby Doo
Lindsay Lohan
Random Bond Girl #732
Miss Moneypenny’s black?
Gollum
Santa Claus
and Sexy Voldemort.
Skyfall.
Wait, whatever happened to that hard drive
they were looking for?
Wasn’t that the whole point of the movie?
No?
Ok.
Make sure to subscribe for more Honest Trailers,
and check out last week’s episode where we
get some witches b*tchin’ about the new action
film “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters.”
Your feet smell like popcorn.
I sunk your battle ship, b*tch.
Ka-Me-Ha-Me-Haaa!
Your belly button taste like broccoli… yummy.

100 thoughts on “Honest Trailers – Skyfall”

  1. Silva is undoubtedly my favorite Bond villain. He’s sick, psychotic, extremely intelligent, he’s always one step ahead, and he’s just plain evil. That scene where bond had to shoot the glass off the woman’s head especially shows his evil side. Plus Javier Bardem is a phenomenal actor so that helps

  2. "Why didn't the conductor stop this train – and why aren't any of these people scared?"
    Welcome to Eastern Europe, b*tch!
    P.S: What, you guys thought Deadpool was the first pansexual action hero? tut tut Silly goose!

  3. I honestly find Quantum more entertaining. The one two punch of this and Spectre put me into a nice comfy nap.

  4. I love Skyfall; I don't care what screen junkies said but it was classic, iconic and badass I mean srsly that ending was just wow, I loved that ending

  5. the way they show the laptop ripped apart to take out the hard drive do you think that the hard drive would have worked properly after that.😏

  6. And why isnt she shooting several times to also hit the evil dude and why arent they following the end of the train if the evil dude hadnt been hit?

  7. Second worst James Bond movie of all time. Daniel Craig is terrible. Just my opinion as a lifelong Bond fan whose watched every one of the actual 20 hundreds of time.

  8. Bond movies are famous for callously disposing of Bond girl #1 so we can have the formulaic two bond girls. But this one was one of the worst. She trusts him, he gets her killed and ciao.

  9. This is the one time , where I could have ripped the movie apart worse than HonestTrailers did. Skyfall was a plothole fiasko. What a crap movie.

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