Legends of Bilgewater: Tahm Kench & The Gambler’s Woe | Audio Drama (Part 4 of 6)

Legends of Bilgewater: Tahm Kench & The Gambler’s Woe | Audio Drama (Part 4 of 6)


My, that’s quite the haul ye have, there!
Won at the tables, was it?
Well –
Here’s to your very good health.
Cheers.
Oh, no
I’ll not be rollin’ the dice with ye.
Not a gamblin’ man no more
or so I tells me self
There were a time, though…
What happened?
The River King happened, that’s what.
Aye
Two-Coats
That old devil Tahm Kench.
He’s what happened.
I was bilge-poor
beg your pardon
and livinn’ in a flophous
Had nothin’ to me name
not ‘til a single gold Kraken
aye, this one ‘ere
came into my possession.
I could tell you how, but you’d call me a liar, heh.
So
with this one coin
what I oughta done was pay me debts, and find a new crew to join.
I was a harpooner, see.
Shoulda put aside whatever was left for the future.
Been responsible, like.
Harpoonin’s a harsh life, even for a younger man.
But that’s when the River King found me.
“Why work someone else’s ship,” he says
“slavin’ away
riskin’ your life for next t’ nothin’
when ye might ‘ave a ship o’ your own?”
I just had to think bigger, like.
O’ course, one Kraken won’t buy a ship
but ‘e had an answer to that, didn’t he.
Dice.
One good throw o’ the bones, an’ I’d ‘ave enough to start me own little operation.
Others could do the danger work, while I sits back, nice and plum, enjoyin’ the profits.
An’ after a few more drinks, you understand
that crooked devil’s advice starts to make a lot o’ sense to my ears.
So
blinded by greed and possibility
I went along wi’ it.
That night were a blur
I awoke well after noon the next day
me head fairly poundin’!
Had no idea where I was
some fancy bawdy-house, as it turns out
but on the dresser
were me previous night’s winnings…
More than enough to purchase me self a ship!
Ah
but the River King
‘e’d given me a taste for somethin’ more.
Why should young Lars content his self with a single ship, when he could ‘ave a fleet?
Just needed to chance me hand a few more times…
That’s Bilgewater.
There’s riches to be had
if you’re willin’ to risk everything
over and over.
With old Two-Coat’s arm around me, I was led from the dice tables to other halls of avarice
from backroom card games to gamblin’ and bettin’ parlors, high and low.
I spent a fortune
lost a fortune
then made it all back again.
Around and around in that allurin’ spiral I went.
I was feelin’ the hunger, the yearning
and it was pullin’ me down like a whirlpool.
Years passed, an’ somewhere along the way
I’m ashamed to say I forgot what I was doing all this for.
I forgot who I was.
I had it all, but
it never were enough.
I wanted more.
And then I started losin’ big.
That made me double-down
go for broke
all-or-nothin’
looking for the big stakes to put me back on top.
Pretty soon
I was in a worse state than I’d been to start with.
Sleepin’ in the gutter
Catching rats to eat
if I were lucky.
I begged borrowed and stole from everyone who’d ever shown me any kindness.
Lost all me mates
chasing the dream.
‘E feeds on misery, see, does Tahm Kench.
As old as sin, ‘e is, and older than Bilgewater by far.
Been ‘round since the start of things
gorgin’ his self on the desperation what comes with the greed and sorrow in men’s hearts.
I mean, I’d done it to me self
but it were him what give me the means.
Ye might say, ‘e took me to the cliff’s edge
but I were the numpty what threw me self off
beg your pardon
and that old glutton revelled in me despair.
Came to me once more, ‘e did,
when I was at me very lowest
drinkin’ from puddles
havin’ sold me own leg to be used for chum.
In the darkest night, whisperin’ an’ cajolin’,
‘e pressed this gold Kraken back into me hand, with a knowin’ wink.
Twere the same one I’d ‘ad back at the start!
It were this damn coin what started me on that wretched path!
Eh, ‘e opened his mouth up wide, and says,
“It’s not too late, Lars. Never too late. Come with me, an’ we’ll find you a fortune again…”
Even after everythin’, I was tempted.
‘Course I was! But no. I resisted – Mother Serpent knows how.
Two-Coats only laughed.
Said he’d be there when I changed me mind.
And, sure enough, the temptation’s still there
now, every day.
So here I am.
Friendless.
Broke.
All the best years of me life behind me, wasted in those lost decades.
Can’t remember most of it, neither, so I’ve no idea if I even enjoyed me self.
Anyways. Enough o’ my ramblin’.
There’s a lesson to be learned, ‘ere
– keep your purse strings tight, and never, ever make a deal wi’ the River King.
Ye’ve always got more to lose…

100 thoughts on “Legends of Bilgewater: Tahm Kench & The Gambler’s Woe | Audio Drama (Part 4 of 6)”

  1. So Tahm was baiting sailors and make them feel the true hungry and greed and then take what they have, devil if I want to say but still better than fizz

  2. Is this asmr? If so….
    I NEED MORE. PROBABLY WITH CAITLYN CLEANING HER GUNS AS TRIGGERS OR SOMETHING 😂

  3. Sounds like he's describing the ranked climb. So, yeah, no more. Too much time spent on something that has no value.

  4. He says it his lucky coin… but the more i listen , more it seems like it associates with nothin good

  5. That is so cool, I mean Pykes "real" name is Lars when i understand it right. And the think is, this is my real name too. THAT IS SO COOL. Ahh no i was just a traiter

  6. Moral of the story kill everyone when you here a banjo cuz thier really a demon🤣
    Also by kench standards this is kinda mild. I mean sure he made a Guy waste half his life but I wouldn't put anywhere near "eat people on thier wedding day and leave 1 survivor to cry about it"

  7. anyway else think its ironic that riot release a video about addiction and gambling having created the most addicting game in the world and bringing to the shop a new random capsule that costs £5 per.

  8. "Lucky" coin sounds more and more unlucky to me xD Maybe he says its lucky because it makes him run into these myths? The coin is lucky but the luck isnt good

  9. U should do this to all champs with a diffrent bacground depending on the champion origin…

    I would like to see u do void xD

  10. why is bilgewater the only place that rito loves? a full map rework TWICE , lore based champion permaban/rework and now audio stories.

  11. oh how i wish the release date was april 1 and Riot be like
    you thought it was Pyke? BUT T'WAS ME! LARS! :V

  12. man lars got out lucky….hear'd most people that meet the river king go under, dew to his enormous appetite …

  13. Tahm gluttony, aatrox wrath, eve lust, garen pride, tf greed, Amumu envy and sloth I'm stumped maybe mao

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