Michael Jordan’s Bodyguard Body Slammed Hasan Minhaj in a Casino

Michael Jordan’s Bodyguard Body Slammed Hasan Minhaj in a Casino

-Were you nervous?
Did you meet any of your
favorite NBA superstars?
-All right.
So it was in Charlotte, right?
So, everybody’s like,
“You got to meet Michael.”
Jordan, right?
-And, uh…
Come on, Quest. You know.
-No, yeah, we know.
Know Michael, yeah.
-It’s M.J.
No, look, when I —
I had a chance —
I met Michael Jordan before.
It was — You know, the All-Star
Game’s a big deal for me.
In 2007, I wasn’t invited,
but it was Michael Jordan’s
birthday in Las Vegas
at the All-Star Game.
I get a call from my friend.
He goes, “Yo, man, it’s
Michael’s birthday in Vegas.
You in?”
I go, “You had me at Michael.”
I get in the Camry.
I call up five of my friends.
-So, you get in the Camry
I go, “It’s Michael Jordan’s
birthday in Vegas.
Let’s go.”
-You’re not invited at all.
-Not invited.
-I drive from L.A. overnight.
From L.A., boom, to Vegas.
We get to the Bellagio.
I park my car at the front
of the Bellagio.
I valet it.
I’m like, “$20. Take it.”
Who valets a Camry?
I do.
We run to the front of the line.
There’s all these people in line
to get into the Bellagio,
the nightclub, right?
I’m just like,
“Get out of the way.
I’m here to see Mike.”
-They’re like, “Excuse me.”
I’m like, “Excuse you.
What’s Michael’s favorite flavor
of Gatorade?
Get over there.”
And I get to the front,
and the bouncer does that thing
whenever they see, like,
a group of five men
running towards them.
They’re like, “Stop.”
Penis tax — $1,000.
$1,000 to get in.
I’m like, “Is my family hostage?
-Is that right?
-So, I wait by the craps table.
I’m like,
“Look, Michael walked in.
He’s gonna walk out
at some point.
We know how doors work.
We know that.”
-Yeah. Of course.
-So around 2:00,
3:00 in the morning,
he walks out,
and I see the Steve Harvey suit.
-And I know it’s him.
Like, all 17 buttons.
[ Laughter ]
And I just see him,
and I just sprint towards Mike,
and I could just replay all
the commercials in my head,
just like Nike, Wheaties, Hanes.
“Mike, I’m wearing Hanes
right now.”
[ Laughter ]
And I just reach out.
I’m reaching out
for a high five.
Like, I want his chocolaty hand
to touch my chocolaty hand.
-Just, like, validate me.
And he sees me.
And then he nods to his
security guard like this,
and his security guard
grabs me by the neck,
just lifts me up, and boom!
Just body-slams me
into the ground,
and just ev–
the whole casino stops.
Like, even, like,
old Filipino ladies
stopped playing blackjack.
They were like…
“Yo. Harold from ‘Harold &
Kumar’ just got body-slammed.”
It was actually Kumar.
And I look down at my shoes,
and I’m wearing Air Jordans.
-So, I see the Jump Man.
I look up
and I see the Jump Man.
And he just walked off
into the night.
-Yeah, that’s it.
-And I know your story,
’cause you met Mike.
-Yes, once I met Michael Jordan,
-No, again, Jimmy.
He met Michael Jordan,
and you kissed him on the lips.
-Dude, we don’t —
-No body slam.
Meanwhile, I go in
for the high five,
and borderline
a hate crime breaks out
in the Bellagio Casino.
-That’s not a hate —
borderline hate crime.
That’s so —
When you do meet him, though,
he does not like a kiss
on the lips.
Do not do that.
-Do not do that. I’m very lucky
I got way from that.
-I still wear Jordans
to this day, though.
-Yeah, I love Michael Jordan,
too, yeah.
Let’s get back to, quickly,
“Patriot Act.”
Just once again,
kudos to everybody,
to you and everyone
working on that.
What subject
are you tackling next?
-Oh, this week, we’re doing
student loan debt, so…
-Student loan debt.
You guys got to check it out.
-Does anyone here
have student loan debt?
[ Cheers ]
-Oh, yeah.
-See what I’m saying?
-Oh, we all do.
-Oh, yeah.
-Hasan Minhaj, everybody.
Check out a brand-new episode
of “Patriot Act”
streaming this Sunday
on Netflix.

100 thoughts on “Michael Jordan’s Bodyguard Body Slammed Hasan Minhaj in a Casino”

  1. Yo his show doesn’t have the student loan episode up on Netflix like he said it would be Sunday night, it’s Monday morning right now. What’s up with that? Latest episode is from December

  2. Fallon are you fucking nuts? Invite that punk on your show?
    I would kick that bastard back where he belongs…in desert where muslims rape each others kids as a very casual thing like it's just a breakfast.
    I have to vomit

  3. Damn, Jimmy looked so uncomfortable not being the center of attention. The way Hasan tells a story doesn't give someone like Jimmy a chance to interrupt like he normally does with his guests. Look at 1:56.

  4. A similar situation happened to one of my college friends, it wasn't a body slam but definitely a hand grab and quick interference. It happened at a Vegas casino, but not Bellagio, as that wasn't built yet. We're talking about the days when Luxor and TI were still the new places in town. My friend went to tap Jordan on the shoulder, just to ask for an autograph or a photo. Typical fan stuff.

    Within a split second, one of the bodyguards stepped in from out of nowhere and formed an impenetrable wall in front of Jordan, not unlike a Secret Service agent. MJ hired some fine security detail.

  5. Hasan Minhaj is a "muslim". Hence, he can discuss race and call a black man's hands "chocolottie" without repercussion. Just like he can beat his wife according to the quran: https://quran.com/4/34

  6. Hassans thoughts and vision is so true and powerfull yat funny and humorous. He humorly tack very sensitive subject and make people to understand that and overcome on it.

  7. Honestly, I think Michael Jordan is racist against other black/brown people. He’s been very disrespectful and standoffish towards other black men who’ve been his biggest supporters and possibly Hasan being another brown person, he did the same kind of shit to. Meanwhile, someone white like Jimmy gets up close and kisses him.

  8. Someone tell this guy laughing isn't by force. He doesn't have to giggle he can just smile. Fallon faked laughing like 3 or 4 times in just 4 minutes its so awkward.

  9. Why is he(the fake indian) so excited all the time? Someone teach him masturbation please. I hate this as*h**e.

  10. Jimmy, it is not your place to be pronouncing what is and isn't a hate crime. Let the brown guy make his joke. #stayinyourlane #knowyourplace

  11. This made me laugh so bad because I have a Camry and think I’m all that driving around my neighborhood 😂 lol

  12. Such a dashing and humorous personality with So much passion and confidence. Also has a great and interesting way of telling stories.

  13. Jimmy be looking at Hassan with heart eyes and doing that teenage girly laugh every time Hasan jokes 😂

  14. Why does Jimmy look like he needs to use the restroom REAL QUICKLY ? Like, man looks like he could pee himself any minute

  15. Luv from somalia n I wish he’d covered somalia and how dictatorship n tribalism fucked up a rich country for almost 30 years n btw I think I almost watched every episode n I wouldn’t trade the 20+ hours Ive put into his channel YouTube n Netflix

  16. Jimmy, do us all a favor; leave this show for good. Is it just me to be baffled to see 21 M subscribers to your shitty hosting act? Excuse my choice of words. Honestly speaking, I don't mean to piss you off – let alone hate you. Why would I? If it wasn't for some of the guests you happen to bring on your show, every now and then, I wouldn't watch this show. I've no problem you carrying on doing what you do at other times. I'm just amazed how you get to keep this job. Hope you get better at this, or at something else. Wish you well.

  17. guys 1:57 YOU HAVE TO SEE JIMMY'S REACTION. he wants to either fart or his earphones are killing him from someone behind the scenes screaming at him "act natural jimmy act natural like hasan"

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