Jaiden: In the skies above Peach’s castle – you’re missing the dialogue!
James: We’re missing the sToRy, well actually…
Jaiden: You’re missing BOWSER.
James: You’re- We’re gonna be- we’re gonna be skipping a lot of this story.
Jaiden: Why?? It’s important to the speedrun.
Adam: The intricate.. uhm.. stealing of the princesses.
Jaiden: Skip the movie?
James: Oh yeah B)
Jaiden: Fine>:( *mumble* I guess
James: You don’t need to know the story. I think- do we need to say “hello everyone, welcome”
Jaiden: They know what they’re getting themselves into
(and what I’m getting into captioning this)
James: You’re right, you’re right, pull up some popcorn. do we need to explain what a speedrun is?
Adam: Uh… speedrunning is when you run really fast… in the game. Jamison, You know all the skips right?
James: Uuuhhh I’m- Yeah, I know the skips, but I don’t know the routes.
Jaiden: Have you tried throwing him, that’s what he said
James: oh no! Jaiden: uh oh. start over!
Jaiden: :O Birds with hats!!
James: oh no! No! I can save it! YEs
James: Only the best. like I said get ready for- for quite a ride
Jaiden: frog. oh look at him! Adam: Just skip it!
Adam: Speedrunners way
James: Did you know you can shake the controller to make them go higher?
Jaiden: oh rlly
Jaiden: just like real physics
James: a large part of the game is shaking the controller as hard as you can
Adam: Right now James is frantically shaking the controller
James: No nOo uhuh! Adam: C’mOn!
Jaiden: can’t be making those mistakes james, the world record is at stake
Jaiden: oh! yea B) James: Got it
Adam: Watching James play any videogame is the most frustrating thing in the world, so get ready to be very angry
James: UHM I’ll have you know, that I I know like all the skips
Adam: (w/ skepticism) Okay
Jaiden: you missed some coins, go back!
James: it’s the speedrunners way
Adam: Wait I wanna I want to beat that
James: okay, you can do it. I’m- this is Adam playing by the way so
*Adam playing noises*
Jaiden: cartwheel! you cartwheeled
Adam: (casually) oh I went inside of a hat
Adam: Those away- Oh yeah. James: Yeah you can you can hit him right at the very beginning
Adam: there was a uh, there was uh oh yeah you are right
Adam: There was a way we can end this faster, but I forgot how to do it
James: jump, jump Adam: I’m here!!
Jaiden: by not fighting ☮
James: and time!
James: it’s- we’re done.
Jaiden: are you gonna tell them the restraint that you guys have on the computer.
James: What do you mean? Oh that we have only three hours of recording time so yeah?
James: so we really have to beat this within three hours
James: I need to thank Grand POOBear for giving me an extra capture card. I like asked him. I was like
What’s a good capture card and he was like this one time he gave me his so Adam: Thank you, Thank You Mr. POO
Adam: Mr.. Bear James: mr-mr bear..
Jaiden: why can’t you just be him for the whole time. Why can’t you just ride the electrical wires to… James: the moon? Jaiden: the moon
Adam: to the moon… Jaiden: I see no problem
Jaiden: there’s a banana in there
Jaiden: *gasp* more birds! I don’t know th- Can you be a bird and fly everywhere? James: uhhh Adam: I WISH
James: you can be a lizard and fly. Jaiden: I see *mumbles*
oh nO oh no muhuh oo oo nO No Nohu
Adam:Okay I said this-
Adam: I said this before uh
Privately amongst friends and they don’t get it
But the water in this game looks super quenchable like it would quench the frick out of your thirst
James: that’s a weird adjective to describe anything Jaiden: Quenchable?
Adam: it’s a really- Jaiden: Is it a real word?
Adam: I don’t know
Jaiden: I’m looking it up right now
Adam: It looks like like a nice glass of water Jaiden: Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, come here baby
Jaiden: No she goes off when I say Ari
I’m like I’m not talking to you!
Adam: Ok google Jaiden: SIRI!
Adam: Is water- Jaiden: I’m gonna type it in
James: Is quenchable, Adam: is quenchable- is water- wait Jaiden: QUEN-CHA-BLE
James: oh theres- Adam: *laugh* is water wet
Adam: is quenchable a word
(Guessing from all the automatic caption guesses no, it’s not a word)
Jaiden: to satisfy or ally, parentheses thirsts, desires, passions
James: Yes! Okay, you guys missed it, but I did a very cool speedrunning thing.
(every time james mentions a speedrunning thing take a shot of water to be hydrated)
Jaiden: Do it again I’m still looking up quenchable James: okay, well this this is the first big skip of the run everyone, okay, so we’re a t-rex
Jaiden: oh look at you James: yeah no big deal
Adam: wait, I wanna do it cause you- its fine
Adam: wait let me do it, i wanna do it Jaiden: oh, be careful!
James: good going adam
Jaiden: awhAdam: So what you need to do you need to barely tap it James: Tap it so you don’t even touch it
Jaiden: What is it?
Adam: You’ll see, you’ll see
James: we’re saving so much time doing this Adam: yeah so much time
Jaiden: I’m sure you are
Adam: hold on let me do this Jaiden: you’re dancing
Jaiden: you’re dancing with the things
Jaiden: So i’m not a speedrunner, but- I don’t
James: This is- this is how you- this is how the pros play.
Adam: I forgot how to get like- do the hat
James: oh I did not make it
Adam: Lemme do it lemme do it James: no! I- Adam: Take turns! Share! Sharing is caring!
James: *distressed* This is the first big skip! nNO!
Jaiden: he’s dead Adam: that’s what you get for not caring
Jaiden: where’d it go??
James: Wait for it, wait for it…
Jaiden: Mario are you- you good man?
James: You know like Adam: did it glitch? do you think
Jaiden: do you have to like go away further?
Adam: No, I usually it just pops back like
Jaiden: so like how- Adam: oh there it is
Jaiden: how quick is this?
(goodness i wish it was quicker I’ve been doing this an hour)
James: Normally we get it first try Adam: and we still got three hours left…
James: Like I’ve done it before where like I didn’t make it
Adam: You got it!
Jaiden: oh look at her Adam: murder her!
Jaiden: that makes me think of uh, James and the giant peach
Jaiden: you know that movie? the stop motion one? you’re the peach, and then
That’s like the angry lady
James: Yeah, I-
I only knew about it because everyone was like “oh your name is James, like James and the Giant Peach”
Adam: I thought I was just really weirdly uh, animated
Jaiden: I like how it jiggles
James: Are you talking about her… breasts?
Jaiden: I was talking about how the dog walked but, I mean…
to each their own
Jaiden: Woah she’s scary
*screaming* Adam: YOU GOT ONE LIFE
Adam: I’m sorry, you’re giving me- you anger me
James, not sounding fine: we’re fine, we’re fine! we’re playing the game
Jaiden: so close to smacking you
James: I did it, we’re fine
Adam: oh you straight up murdered her dog James: you’re right
Adam: he did nothing
Jaiden: you murdered her too
James: Yeah, I think she comes back actually
James: Oh no
She exploded, you’re right Adam: spoiler alert
Adam: But I came up with a game theory that they all go to hell at the end, and that’s why they’re on the moon
James: oh, oh, with the lava and everything
Adam: Yeah yeah
James: everyone’s gonna know when we recorded this because it says the date when you got the star
Jaiden: how long is it going to take for YouTube took to export and
process this video in
Jaiden: this almost three hour long video
James: It’s gonna be really interesting to see who watches this all the way through
(mate i’m sitting down to caption it)
Jaiden: We’re-we’re gonna have like an easter egg at like, an hour and 45 minutes
James: there’s like a way to speedrun this the fast way, but I’m just doing it the way…
Jaiden: the slow way (ﾒ■_■)y-～
*angels singing from the heavens*
Jaiden: I like the chain chomps. are they born like, tied to the ground
Adam: how would they be born then??
Jaiden: I dunno, ask them
Adam: do they grow out of the ground?
James: Yeah, they’re like plants
Jaiden: there’s honey in that thing, powered by honey-
*gasp* Look at the bird! you see it in the corner the left. James: I see I see it.
Adam: I’m looking! I see it- James: oh it’s still there
Adam: Hello bird
James: ok skip- yeahhhhh
sassy Adam: You should have skipped it a while ago… Jaiden: but we wouldn’t have seen the bird. Adam: We lost so much time
James: I love this part of the speedrun because you just mash A a bunch of times
Anyone’s good. Oh what just happened?
Jaiden: you did- you did it wrong
Jaiden: look at all the little mexican
Jaiden: look at their like, bobble heads
James: *more distress*
Jaiden: Get the triangles- nNO!
Jaiden: *GASP* BIRD! NO YOU HAVE TO TALK TO HIM JAMES
James: look at him. ohno, he’s- you can’t see him
Adam: I love this character because I imagine he just screams every third word James: there it is yeah
Adam: what is tHE secret *laughter*
Jaiden: Green banana!
James: come on come on come on, yeah Jaiden: it needs more ethanol- ethylene. ethylene.
Jaiden: I know my own facts.
James: then we go in, here! and then-
Jaiden: oh, the pipes like a chimney
Jaiden: he’s like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE”
James: and then right here and- there it is
James: We’re gonna get so many moons
Adam: I like the colors in this level James: yeah Adam: they look like, Mexican
James: Where’s the store in this?
there it is
Jaiden:Isn’t there like only one Bowser poster like he didn’t design
James: Yeah, he didn’t design anymore. He just has one bowser poster Jaiden: one’s all you need when it’s good
Jaiden: they poi- they poistered it-
they printed it themselves. That’s how good they are. Adam: YouTube tuterials
Jaiden: yOUtuBe TutoRiAls
James: Here’s another he’s gonna be a tricky thing to do… dang it. Adam: I know what you’re tryna do
Jaiden: Well he’s got cactus in his-
James: no! nooo
James: do they even explain why there’s ice there
Adam: uhh i think so- i tHINK SO
James: Okay, okay, we’re gonna need to get on top of that. Adam: Yeah watch this, watch this, watch this…
Jaiden: Okay guys say hi to the face
Adam: *noises* HI FACE
James: you did it! Jaiden: see that’s all you need- *gasp* more birds!
(take another shot of Hydrating Water™ every time jaiden gasps at a bird)
Jaiden: look at them they’re so cute! *0*
James: they look like the Twitter bird Jaiden: noo
James: Yeah but like yellow, yeah Adam: (???) green, we’re both color blind
Jaiden: Banana birds. you didn’t get the checkpoint James: uh- that’s not the speedrunners way
Jaiden: Woah! we’re sinking? jump! jump!
James: I- I know, I know, don’t worry about it cappy. There’s another speedrunner tactic that we’re just going *mumbles*
Jaiden: owo bullet
James: It’s a lot more easier when you know where all the moons are
Jaiden: So, is the moon always gonna be where that little crack on the ground is?
James: Uh, yess. We need to get a bullet bill. Jaiden: oH! You just fixed it.
James: This is probably not gonna work. hU
James: Oh- Wait, oh no, I didn’t press the-
Adam: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
James: I didn’t press the button. I’m gonna. I’m going I’m going back. I’m going back and go back. okay. okay.
Jaiden: if y- you- if the bullet explodes when you’re in it. Do you die? James: No you just jump out of it, okay, okay.
Jaiden: On the lone pillar. James: there’s a way to glitch out into a wall and get another moon, but we are not going to thaaaat.
James: Right there
James: Guys, you guys ready for this? Jaiden: yeah Adam: you all ready for this?
* James’ apparent holding his breath noise. *
Jaiden: That’s horrifying. Like imagine doing that in real life.
James: Succumbing to the sand
Jaiden: It’s incredible how- like far he can jump. How many jumps, can he do?
James: Like he can jump, throw the hat, dive then throw the hat and dive again. alright. We need we need another bullet
Adam: No- G-Go get that one! what- oh- right I forgot.
Adam: Are you gonna try to get on that one? James: I think I’m gonna try and get on that one!
Adam: I think you could with the same trick that you got that one, but like up there.
James: okay, this one will-
I was about to say I was gonna do a very hard trick, and if I mess it up the runs over. but…
James: Isn’t there one over heeere?
Jaiden: Wait, you didn’t get the other… moon?
James: Is there one over heeere?
Jaiden: uH Oh.
James: oh no, oH NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
Adam: Bullet bills live to die.
James: Okay yeah, we’re doing the hard one now
Jaiden: the best speedrun.
James: Yeah, this is- we’re going for world record here
Jaiden: ooh that– You almost missed it.
oOOH! The purple water
James: Oh that- that’ll kill you.
We’re still going, we’re still going…
Jaiden: Oohhhh noo!
Adam: Okay wait- Let me do it. let me do it. let me do it. let me do it.
Jaiden: Is there like a mode to speedrunning without running?
Adam: Oh ther- uhhh speed-walking?
James: You have to jump out right before y-
James: I Think we’re gonna skip that one. We can just buy another one.
James: There’s something out heeeeerrrrrre
Jaiden: Someone’s in the ice! Help ’em!
James: I think you have to do that after the game- IT’S THAT ONE! It’s that cactus!
Sped-up Jaiden: Oh there’s a bird’s on it! they’re like “Hey! Over here, friend!”
James: Guys have you ever wanted to be a cactus before?
James: ‘Cause u can. Oh well good! ’cause *mumbles*
Jaiden: I was talking to someone and umm, we concluded that the worst method of traveling that a human can do is cart-wheeling.
Adam: I mean.. yeah!
Jaiden: It breaks all momentum.
Jaiden oOOH! Music!
Jaiden: I wish I could hear the sound, but the sounds not on,
James: Well I think it’ll be on in the video
Jaiden: Oh is it?
Jaiden: Man, I love this.
James: This is our- I guess this is our first Let’s play right?
Jaiden & Adam: Yeah.
James: Okay, uhhm- I definitely missed one of the moons?
Jaiden: there’s a flying castle! *0*
James: Oh SHOOT! I need coins.
James: Oh No!
James: This isn’t part of the speedrun. I just
Jaiden: I’m just here to gamble
**kids don’t gamble irl**
James: Let’s play. come on. come on.
Jaiden: Slots away. Oh it IS gambling?
Jaiden: It’s a casino!
James: Okay, it’s after the heart. Actually, I’m going to go on this side. yeah.
Jaiden: You have to like, hat-trick it?
James: nNNAILED IT!
Jaiden: How did that work?
Jaiden: oh yeah!
Jaiden: *mumbles* very nice
Adam: It’s a scam! Those ones are yellow.
James: Ok wait, I need a hundred coins…
James: to get to buy one… I should have got the coins. Dang it!
Jaiden: yeah, you should have listened to me…>^>
James: We’re totally speedrunning, guys. This is how the pros do it.
Adam: Yeah, look at how fast…
Jaiden: You’re supposed to be this far twenty-five minutes in.
James: uHH- What does-
Jaiden: FREEZY TREATS!! *0*
Adam: What does thieving monsters-
Adam: Wait- I- I didn’t see the question I know ALL of these…
James: Okay, we have to do that again…
Adam: Greetings, traveler…
Jaiden: I didn’t even read the question…
*Reading the question simultaneously over each other*
James: Why does he want sand?
Adam: It’s freezy Pops!
James: uOOOUUUHHH? But this is the Desert?
Jaiden: It’s not rings?
James: …Freezy treats.
Jaiden: Heh, It’s rings.
Adam: It’s rings.
Jaiden: We’re the best speedrunners. xD
James: There’s actually a way to glitch into the wall without even having to answer it…
Jaiden: But we wanted to take the easier-
James: Here it is, here it is, yeah, there’s all the coins.
Adam: GO BUY THEM! You have enou- Oh wow.
Adam: Okay, yeah, we just need that one now
James: BOOM! DONE!
Adam: Wait, Is this the speedrunners’ way to just like collect a bunch of coins and buy them all?
Jame: Uhhh, well, you can only buy one in each thing…
Jaiden: They turn into honey.
All right ten… That’s how hot air balloons work!
Jaiden: So if you’re playing this game for the first time, and you didn’t know Mario’s name was Mario, what would you name him?
James: I- I- I wouldn’t do something Italian…
James: Maybe like…
Adam: Jake the plumber.
James: You guys ready to see my speedrunning skills?
**I’ve been judging you while I captioned this** Mchwave_
Jaiden: Haven’t we already been watching?
Jaiden: :0 !! It’s pink!
There’s like a- a stack of coins that popped up. Did you get that?
James: uhhh- THERE IT IS!
Jaiden: Right there!
Jaiden oOH! REAL COIN PHYSICS!!!
Jaiden: So THAT’S what people mean by jiggle physics…
James: So there’s a way to like- to speedrun your way up this wall.
Adam: You guys not look at that water and go …whoa. :0
Adam: Whoa… I wanna do that.
Jaiden: This sand is really…
Hey wait. That’s a- that’s a s-
James: WHOO! did it.
Adam: Wait no-
Jaiden: Wow! Great jump!
** xD Game throwing shade on ya **
Jaiden: Did you see that?! xD
Jaiden: That was like super condescend-
:0 !! They’re getting married!! ;0;
AND THEY HAVE BABIES!!
It’s like a whole story! ;v;
James: Kay, I just need my health back. Okay, you see that zipper up there.
James: I’m gonna get to that zipper.
Jaiden: We’re gonna zip that zipp-
James: That- That was the-
the easy way out.
Yeah, a lot of these things I’m playing safe just because I don’t want to-
have to do it again.
Jaiden: I mean zippers exist, but what if they works for walls? In some drawers?
Jaiden: oOOH! It’s a beautiful world! *0*
Adam: GO GET IT!! IT’S ON HIS BACK!!
Jaiden: IT’S A LAPRAS!!
James: You’re supposed to steal a fish…
**Poor Cheep Cheep**
James: There we go~
Jaiden: They have mohawks.
Adam: Yeah, that’s some dope hair.
James: What I think is cool, is that Mario was- like he was… in the 8-bit era,
so a lot of the enemies, they’re designed the way they are because, of the limitations from the 8-bit stuff…
Adam: Yeah, but didn’t the- didn’t the fish come from the 16-bit one?
James: Uhh, no. The fish were in the very- they’re in the very very first one yeah
Jaiden: Look at the fish. He’s like-
“:oo u gOT OnE!!”
**Cheep Cheep are just the best enemies to insult at**
James: I thin-
James: This guy- Jaiden: OH! He scared me!
James: This guy has a name…
** It’s on the screen right now, smh**
James: I- I actually think it might be someone…
James: Someone look up the name of the Lapras in Mario-
James: I think there’s another moon…
Adam: What is the name of the Lapras in Mario?
Jaiden: I Like Lapras
Jaiden: It’s an original name.
James: oOOH Wait- I know- I remember the speedrun now. You’re supposed to do the boss.
That’s what you’re supposed to do…
Adam: And you aren’t doing it…
Jaiden: It’s a mermaid!
James: Where- oh. How did I- how do I get to the boss…
Jaiden: I like these colors
James: You know what we’re not doing the boss. We’re doing it.. th- my way
James: I just wanted to show off-
James: I just wanted to show off….
Here we go.
Jaiden: This… oOoh.
James: You found me!
Adam: Ah! You found me!
Jaiden: You found her in the back alley in exchange some… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Jaiden: OUR LITTLE SECRET ROOM!!!
Jaiden: So why is it… moons in this game and not stars?
James: That’s- ‘Cause they already did stars…
Adam: ‘Cause they’re going to the moon.
James & Jaiden: ooOOOOHHhh!
doo doo doo doo~
Jaiden: GET OUTTA HERE!
Jaiden: oh he’s scared of the fish.
James: Yeah, because- ’cause you’re an enemy so-
James: I mean, I guess I could just *whispers* buy a moon.
Jaiden: That’s what you say to murderers.
Jaiden: GET OUTTA HERE!
Jaiden: And then he cowers in fear.
James: Someone breaks into your house…
gET OUTTA HERE.
SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Adam: Of a- of a meme I saw on Twitter
It’s like umm… somebody breaks into your house and they’re just like- the robbers err–
You ask the robber
Uhh- Can I help you with anything?
James: Oh yeah,
Adam: The robber’s just like-
James: Y’know… just looking.
Jaiden: I saw that one.
Jaiden: Twerk it
Jaiden: No air needed.
James: When I first played this, uhh-
I didn’t talk to the toad first and just went into the pipe ’cause it’s like, “ooh! a secret!”
I thought It was going to take me to a secret room.
James: but it did not… ‘^’
James: can you like here in a squeaky chair?
James: We’re pros…
We’re at… 34 minutes.
Jaiden: I like at the pink moons.
Adam: Two hours and 36 minutes left, we gotta hurry…
James: Should we be commentating about this game? comment at people who–
Jaiden: So this is Mario…
James: Yeah, if you never heard what Mario is, uhhh-
Jaiden: It’s about this uhh- Mexican plumber…
***cough* Italian *cough***
Adam: We’re 34 minutes into the video…
Adam: If they don’t know what Mario by now…
Jaiden: They’ve already made educated guesses.
Adam: You have to beat the crap out of this
Jaiden: You hate…
Jaiden: I HATE you
Jaiden: He’s like teasing you…
Adam: Ok, now you have permission to beat the CRAP-
Jaiden: Violence is never the answer! ☮️
James: I’m just throwing the hat at him, okay!
** suuuuure James**
Adam: KILL HIM!
Jaiden: That one’s so pretty!! *0*
Jaiden: I like- this my favorite color so far.
Adam & James: yeee
Adam: Right there-
James: There it is.
James & Adam: yeeeaaah.
James: I knew where that was because I am a- skilled player.
And this is my first time playing the game by the way.
James: Why isn’t it.. break?
Jaiden: Can’t you just like- throw it?
Adam: Oh yeah! This one you have to hit like… a bajillion –
Jaiden: There we go!
James: He wants- He wants flowers here?
James: YES! first try!
James: Oh wait… Is this not a moon?
Jaiden: Everyone wants flowers…
Adam: Nuuhh, it’s a pathway?
James: I’m gonna do the speedrunners way.
James: There’s this term in speedrunning called RNG, which stands a Random Number Generator, and it’s basically sometimes in video games-
they’re… completely random. So… even if you play it a hundred times, it’s different every time.
James: And… Dangit!
James: And so there’s this pretty famous- not famous… But there’s this one clip of this guy… who died to RNG…
And he was like “oH, I DIED TO RNG, DUDE!”
Jaiden: Like he took the stairs.
Jaiden & James: There we go.
Jaiden: :0 ooh. Creepy…
Jaiden: a WALNUT!
Adam: Don’t you have to like- be him ’cause he jumps high?
James: Uhh- Well, the speedrunners would never do that.
Jaiden: Oh no!
Jaiden: Oh! He hops!
Jaiden: What are you trying to do James?
James: I’m j- j- just… trying to beat the game.
There we go.
** relief sounds**
Jaiden as the walnut: Hey man! What’s up?
James: I WANT WHAT’S INSIDE YOU!
Adam: You could’ve just ask! T^T
Jaiden: Hullo! I’m so lonely up here..
What’s it going man? aAAHHHH!!11!!1
James: Yeah… that was so cool.
Jaiden: oOOH! LEGS!
James: I totally forgot what I’m supposed to do…
Jaiden: He’s a watermelon with legs…
James: I totally forgot what I’m supposed to do…
I think there’s a- is there another acorn one out here?
Adam: There are a lot of moons in this.
James: Yeah, you have to collect a lot to-
Careful… I know- in my Pokémon experience, I know that he’s got a type advantage on you.
James: oH NO! ooh. ok- I thought I fell.
AHH! Here it is!
James: Uhh- I bet you- I wonder if theres any-
Jaiden: OH poison!
James: got it.
James: I wonder if there’s any pro
speedrunners watching this and cringing.
And I wonder if there’s any like- people who’ve never played this game before they’re like…
“WOW! He’s so good at the game!”
Adam: I wonder what-
James: OH NO! NO! NOOOO!
** The exact definition of being good at the game **
** instant karma **
Jaiden: He just waddle.
James: You’re supposed to get up there.
Adam: You can get up there!
James: I know! but it’s easier…
Walnut Jaiden: Hey man!
Walnut Jaiden: PLEASE DON’T MAN!
Walnut Jaiden: I was just like- I- I- This my own little- lil’- lil’- corner!
** RIP Walnut **
James: To do something risky!
Jaiden: Oh nooo…
Jaiden: So Mario like- when he… takes control of something…
His- his… mus- mustache stays… So like, what feature- on you guys would stay?
Adam: My raging muscles!
James: Take control of someone and they just become muscular. xD
Jaiden: like a frog?
Jaiden: Oh noooo..
James: It’s okay, I got this!
Jaiden: I feel so bad for those walnuts.
** same **
Jaiden: They’re just living their life.
They’re like a- like- are they the equivalent to this world’s clam and pearl?
James: Do clams have feelings?
Jaiden: I don’t think they have brains, but they have a will to like, survive and stuff –
James: Yeah, thats true.
Jaiden: I’ve- I told to you guys about this… But I- I haven’t talked about it in a video before and-
Jaiden: probably no one’s gonna hear it. But…
James: Who’s gonna watch this all the way through- I messed up.
Jaiden: Uhm, I almost went through- I did go through a giant rabbit hole on YouTube one time.
Jaiden: where they just opened clams…
James: Oh yeaaaah!-
Jaiden: And they- like for an hour.
And they just like- looked at the pearls and the clams. And I- I didn’t watch it all…
But I was very close to it.
Jaiden: There were different colors depending on the type of dye that the person put in.
James: Okay, the speedrunners would- they would like somehow be able to get on top- oOh no!
Jaiden: You’re gonna to miss the bridge!
** chaos incoming **
Jaiden: Wha- OH NO NO NO
Jaiden: Doesn’t go in all the way.
James: Ok, we’re just doing it this the safe way.
Jaiden: This is s speedrun for us. If we do it the speedrunner’s way, it would not be faster…
NO! Adam: Why didn’t you just *stuttering*
James: There’s a moon up there! Adam: No just hop!
He hops on its own James: ohhhh
I- I’m good *laughter*
What’s your favorite Mario song? Do you have a favorite Mario song? Adam: Oh? Yes, the one from 64 the water level
That’s like my favorite
James: The- in Super Mario World if that was a thing
BUM BUM BUM BUM doodoododoodoo
Jaiden: What’s this guys name?
James: Uhh different hat guy…?
Jaiden: I’d have to
listen to all the songs and make an opinion. Adam: Wait will this video get copyrighted by Nintendo since they don’t like anybody using
James: My- my second channel hasn’t even been monetized yet
It’s been seven weeks>:( Adam: or they’ll, will you get a copyright strike?
James: Uhh Jaiden: I don’t think so. I think because there was just this thing where they just like claimed the video
So they make some money from it
Oh GOD! *James and Adam laughing*
Jaiden: That’s disgusting
Can we think about this, like
James: I DID IT I DID IT! (lol jk)
Jaiden: Let’s pretend that we’re Nintendo, “Guys I had the best idea for a boss!”
Jaiden (as nintendo): “He inhales, and then get this-
he vomits vomits toxic… vom…”
James: Purple vomit
Adam: Just throws up everywhere!
James: What do you want to name him? Steve.
James: You only have three hits.
I’m gonna do what you did
James: Get that heart get that heart
Adam: DIE STE- aw 🙁
James: It’s possible to make a pentagram with this guy.
Jaiden: I was just thinking that *James chuckles*
Adam: MMPH MMPH MMPH
Jaiden: I want someone to make a smiley face.
He looks like George Washington.
James: I can see it.
James: So we got some moons, but we still need more…
Jaiden: Can I go get an apple? (spoiler yes she can)
James: Sure you can go get an apple
Jaiden: Do you guys need anything?
James: No… [Adam: An apple] We’ll just we’ll just be here trying to get moons
Adam (high-pitched dehydrated voice): Can you get me water? [Jaiden: Yeah] Thank youuuu
This is like the only game that I want DLC
James: Yeah! If- I think we were saying if there was a Mario 64 DLC
Adam: Yes! Oh I’d buy that in a heartbeat
James: I didn’t say this but we’re catfishing this goombah…
Adam: Wait and they know– Wait do the thing do the thing
James: Oh the thing? I think I know what you’re talking about
Adam: Do the thing.
James: Okay, I’m pressing it I’m pressing it
[And then they all died]
Adam: So I imagine this DLC remake of Mario 64
Would be–it’s like–it’s like, it still has Cappy, still has the hat physics and stuff like that
But it’s just a reimagine of what the 64 one would be like. I feel like that would be dOPE.
Hello, Jaiden is back with apples and water
Jaiden: [Yeah, the essentials]
James:We’re gonna have an ASMR sesh.
Jaiden: So how far, how much progress have we made?
James: I need one more star
Adam: There’s one–there’s one right there
James: There’s one right here? RIGHT, AGHHH>:(
Adam: Yeah, go get it.
James: Okay, here we go. Yeah. I think you’re just gonna like–and then get out?
Adam: WhAt aRE yoU dOiNg?
James: I’m despawning him because I don’t like people shooting at me!!!
Jaiden: Me neither
James: I think it’s so cool that you could just be in the sitting position and then all of a sudden just
Like a triple backflip, yeah
We did it.
Jaiden: Guess what apple this is.
Adam: Ooh, oh, Fuji.
James: How–like on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate Fuji apples?
Jaiden: Pretty good. I’d say eight.
Adam: Wait, my favorite Apple is the one that tastes like cotton candy, which one is that one?
Jaiden: Pacific Rose. Adam: PACIFIC ROSE!!!
James: Pacific Rim!
Adam: I’m trying to eat this apple, but I also forgot I have braces on
Jaiden: I should have cut it up for you.
James: Is that a problem? Adam: No I know a trick. I can I can open this with my hands
Jaiden: He’S EaTInG tHe aPpLe wHoLe
His jaw has unhooked like a snake!!!
Adam: Me and my friends figured out how to open…
an apple with our bare hands, and it was really cool… Oh, I’m doing it!!
James: That’s so great for the people watching at home.
Jaiden: It’s not worth– what are you even accomplishing?? You’re just putting the same thing in half
James: It’s worth it, he’s gonna be able to eat it!
Adam: Hold up, I’m gonna take a picture of it, I just want to say I’m really proud that I opened this I cut this without..
Jaiden: This is how much progress I’m making on my apple.
James: No, I didn’t do it! This is my favorite battle. The little pimp Bowser.
Adam: I feel really cool, eating these apples..
…cuz I broke it in half with my BARE HANDS!
Now run and punch them in the face–
James: Punch him in the nuts!
Jaiden: His hair looks so nice!
Adam: Yeah, they have some dope hair in this.
James: They try to do this little fake out right here
*whOOP!* haha nice try.
James: So normally your hat, your Cappy gets stolen in this part, but there is a way to just
skip that. Oh, no! Okay.
What’s it get stolen by, monkeys?
James: A bird
LOOK AT HIM
Jaiden: Is there an ASMR of speed running?
James: With speed running? You’d just have to be really talented and whisper the whole thing. A lot of times speedrunners
they like, when they stream, they don’t even like, say anything,
it’s just that– oh I tried to throw my hat…
Jaiden: It have to be like there’s visual ASMR too, so like really clean
James: I mean that is what a speed run is–
Oh no I can’t do– oh I did it!
Jaiden: That tree is a person
James: All right, bird brain…
Jaiden: The bird doesn’t even like flying very far away
There’s a moon in the…! There’s a moon in the cage.
James: Yep. I think it’s this spot. Yeah…
Ready for this?
James: Yeah, there it is!
There’s a lot of like really easy moons, which is fun for speedrunners
Jaiden: Heh, hey what you got there
Adam: Hey you know what that character reminds me of, reminds me of that one video
He’s like, you know, where he wants to get the crown.
James: Oh, yeah!
Jaiden: Oh yeah, Double King.
Double King yeah. That’s a good video if you guys haven’t seen that already, go watch it
James: What.. was it… was it kind of bloody?
Jaiden: Um…, no
James: Or like gruesome?
Adam: I mean there was one part where he chopped off his finger, but actually yeah
James: What else is, what else is he…
Jaiden: But that was like a plot thing.
James: Oh no, oh no! It’s–no I needed that!
Is this… there’s two moons over there, so let’s just…
January 27th you know what that means hmm, you know eight months away from my birth oh
I don’t know if I should talk about this
But my little sister she went in to do the test or to get her driver’s permit yesterday. She didn’t pass my
First try I got a hundred percent. I got a 92 I missed one because I
Yep, you know how I studied the weight will this be illegal
yeah, so the permit the permit test so I just went on youtube and google the answers and just
And just studied the answers because like it’s like
Like it’s super easy. I mean it’s their fault if they don’t change that you have to go on the other platform. Oh
Right you need to get on this black okay on this one
That one then you got a yeah, so good oh, we still need one more oh
Go buy one. No the shots all the way at the very top. There is I think there’s one
It says you can shake the joint fun to stretch faster
Okay, I’m just having to give it a hat. I like to be removing. Oh we’re at the one hour mark everyone
We at least halfway through the video
Movie I guess you could tell by how many little like pieces of the
Oh did we not get a little slim little piece should say split
In high school
I had this top hat and I was aware it’s like
There’s where to be fun because it was a top hat it was cool
Yeah, and then I took it to one party these kids broke it oh
They’re like we’re being rough with it. They’re like throwing it around did it like fall through like rip through. Yeah well
They’re like these these little it was like a little habit. You can put down and fold up and
Cool you can do some cool little speedruns shenanigans and like get that moon up there
Can you go into the shop and buy a moon you do that right now well, there’s chaos yes, that’s a crappy cat oh
Ew, it’s like a Ken doll
It’s yeah, it was super weird how there was just like real people and real dinosaurs in this game
If you listen closely oh yeah one person just straight-up ghosts, I want to die like
Gibberish like whatever are and one of them is I
Don’t know same exact thing they can oh, okay. Go that way you’re moving
This is beyblade Oh
Jade got farther than building oh
Wow your construction check
You press the top
You got this I was gonna say that to get out of the field oh oh
Wait you’re gonna have to go across. I’m gonna have to get across this guy Wow
Press the top left button yeah, and then throw your hat at those boxes behind you
AAAH. Oh it came straight at me.
Uuhhhhhhhh (do you see those boxes right there?)
AAHHH! THEY’RE AFTER ME!(*laughing*)
AAAAAH HURRY HURRY! I got a coin!
Okay wait wait, you
I wanna hide her- oh
Don’t fall off.
Okay, wait, go back to where you were.
I don’t wanna.
There’s a star in there, it’ll heal you up. See those boxes? Break those boxes.
Yeah, you see that there’s like a hole in there go go in go in that. Hole. Yeah, okay? Yeah, yeah
Is that the first moon? No, its the second one, we bought the first one.
(laughing) Bought the first one
How do I run? Oh, not that.
There’s no, you’re just always running.
Its- How do I change the camera?
Uh, the other- How did you get this far without dying?
I’ve NEVER played this game before.
Oh look, a streetsign.
There’s no running? Well yeah, you are running.
There’s no like faster thing?
You can Sonic roll (how do I do that?)
so you press the
top left button to crouch, and then you press the
Throw button. Oh wait get that checkpoint
I’m like crawling up the stairs.
Okay so now press the when you’re in the Crouch button press y and you’ll start rolling. yeah, yeah, you have to like always be pressing y
Aaahh, he’s after me!
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
AAAH ! (laughing)
Can I roll- oh
No , oh, that that gets you out of the
What a fricking…. I hate you
Okay, so throw your hat at that little yellow thing
Hello, fellow s- fellow humans!
There’s a, go to the right on the head right oh go back back. *snicker* Or don’t. There’s a moon over there
*gasp* Ooooh. You could totally make that (you’re right)
Oh my god.
That escelated so fast.
*screaming* WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!
(OH NO) Oh you dived!
I just wanted to hang with the maggots.
AAH. They’re all over the place. Oh my god, this si scary.
What is going on?? Take number one, first try. (alright)
I was about to say you can take your time, but just remember, we’re speed running.
OOOHH wow okay.
Swaying in the breeze. NO-
I don’t know where I am. Go to the left.
Look at that beautiful view.
Oh god. Oh god. Help. Help helphelphelphelp
Throw it throw it throw it one more time!
I’m the one of yous mm-hmm
Reminds me of a certain video. New DONK City?? Yeah, Donk, donkey kong.
Donkey Kong’s in this game. No way, is he?? Well, like 8-bit donkey kong. There’s a way to
Way to speedrun well.
This game rewards you for vandalism. if you take down those posters you get a coin.
Well I mean, they weren’t GOOD posters.
Okay, I’m almost at- Don’t turn into anything- JUST GIVE ME THE STAR!
Okay, there’s, this is the is the ultimate leap of faith
Oh- Oh I missed it, I missed it.
What’re you doing?? IT WAS A SPEEDRUN TECHNIQUE.
That is a tall building.
You’re exactly where you wanted to be, right?
I mean if I died, I would have ended up here anyway.
I threw the hat too late.
How do people even find this?
What are you doing?
Throw it! (adam making weird noises)
Oh my gO- YES!!!!!!!!!
WOO, speedrun. I did it!
Okay, do you want to play? What, I want to play? I think its my turn. Yeah, this is the boss. (Hit the checkpoint.)
New Donk City hall rooftop. That is a mouthful.
‘Kay. Going up. Up and awaaay
OOh, look at that. I will murder you!!!
You need to get a- oh yeah, you’re right, I thought for some reason I thought I had to throw my hat at him oh
How do you shoot?
(james singing)I WILL MURDER!
(james is still singing)
(what a weirdo)
Oh, keep going, keep hitting it!
Motion-controls are on for some reason!
Oh wow, it is, what??
Have they been on this whole time? I don’t know but I hate them. Nintendo, let it die!
START OVER. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA (Oh my god.)
Look at those legs!
He’s got legs for dayz.
You know what I realized? This video is still gonna take less effort than a normal video. (yeah)
Like two hours- three hours for a video? That’s insane.
Thats like how much it takes (normally), like we’re not even done with the script yet, (yeah)(*laughing*)
By the way, the world record dream is dead.
We did it. We made it.
STOP HITTING ME!!!
“We found this glitch that took us right to the ending!”
T-T-T-TT-Top (Tippy top top)
(DIE.) Come on, come on.
This is sort of a nitpick, but I am upset that the bullets don’t arch.
What if they’re just going too fast?
They don’t feel like they’re going fast.
They’re just going so slow that they’re fast
First try. Oh, he’s so shiny. He looks like plastic.
MMMMMM get outta here.
A fresh start for New Donk. (laughing)
There’s a moon in there
What are the lady coins?
Go to the right. Lady coins?
Yeah, at the top there. (AAA)
(We have five lady coins) You missed it you missed you missed. Oh, its right there. The lady coins? Oh, those are the purple coins. Oh.
There’s like different purple coins in each level. I’m sorry for taking the controller from you man.
No, it just reminded me of like a little kid days where my brother would NEVER LET ME PLAY.
But it’s fine.
This- oh whoops- (adam making angry noises)
We’re jump roping right now. Let’s do this oh
I already missed it. Do it again. You have to leave and come back. Yeah, you have to get it perfect okay
One, two, thr-OOOOH I DIDNT MAKE IT!!!
(Faster) You need to get 30
If you get 500 in this speed run
There was someone who was able to like make a program that made him jump at all the right times
OOOOOOH my god its getting close!
Wait you already did it. I CANT GIVE UP NOW- oh.
Talk to the bird!
Look at him.
RAAAH. What is THE secret?
You were terrible. Okay, wait no, I know the speedrunning technique now.
Got it okay, okay? There is a way
Can’t you just like go enjoy yourself? Just turn, why aren’t you turning??? I am turning!
(adam & james making noises)
I wish cars were that bouncy in real life. I’m kind of glad they aren’t
Just imagine car crashes, yeah. This is, okay wait, everyone watch this part
This is like a legitimate part of like the speed running technique. PPFFFT.
Oh, I missed.
You were trying (you have to land on the)
Yeah, you have to land right
Yeah, like I saw that on Twitter, but what an actual thing? How do I sit down?? Oh there
No, I okay, but I just gotta wait. I gotta wait. You don’t press any buttons .
Just give me your moon
Oh, there’s little rat friends! Oh.
Ohohohoh, you MURDERED it.
I think it’s there’s a there’s a place. It’s like all white
Where there’s like a bunch of people yeah, I know how to play this game
This isn’t it.
Yeah, I got it. I want to do it all the time
Wait do you know the speedrunning tactic (no) This isn’t it, but it’s fine. We can do this anyway
The graffiti just says “New Donk City”
Oh my god.
You need to get to the left. You need to get to the left! (AAA)
You need to get to the left! (AAAAAAA)
What the h*ck??
Where did this come from??
YOU NEED TO GET TO THE LEFT!
Look at that screenshot he’s like ready to bite. You’re gonna murder me. Okay, now. Just make it to the end yeah
And then he dies!
Your friend died (my lizard friend :”This wasn’t part of this. Well, it is now
You’re right. This is part of our speedrun
It’s about the journey not about the destiny, but it’s about the journey, and how fast we get there. I want to say
It’s the one with us a bunch of, YEEEAH
This is the speed runner technique
You should come up with our own game theory as to where these people are going. I’m not you’re right maybe there
They’re coming off work and go into subway. Or, this is purgatory
(laughing) THEY’RE ALL DEAD.
(matpat voice) “But hey, that’s just a theory,”
What’s the Matpat very nice to you? Yeah.
Mat Pat, okay, Mat Pat is probably one of the most awesome people I’ve ever.
I haven’t met him yet you guys met him and you guys said he was really nice
But he did help me get my ulti monetization
Which it’s like. Thank you Mat Pat. (LONG LIVE THE KING)
Nintendo wouldn’t make it to the other Pole
WOO, firs try- WNNO
SHAKE THE CONTROLLER
Now get that one yeah
Uhhhhhhhh (FLY YOU FOOL)
UhhHHAAAAA MADE IT!
I-I didn’t make it.
Fine it’s fine. We’ve only been playing for an hour and 20 minutes. We have a little less than two hours left in this recording (laughing)
Until it automatically cuts us off.
It’s like, you were too bad. There’s there’s wait wait for it wait for it there
You might think, “James, what are you doing? This is this is crazy talk! “
James, what are you doing? This is crazy talk!
Oh, yeah, ya laugh! (I wasn’t laughing, I just said it was crazy.)
Oh look, pigeons.
(muffled laughing) I do.
So what’s her story? She was kidnapped by Donkey Kong. (Mario’s EX.) you’re right, but I think they’re still friends.
Game theory (laughing)
It’s Mario’s mom (intense laughing) (Ew!) How old is Mario like 12, I mean it’s 40 well (TWELVE)
We can we can leave now. Thank goodness. I didn’t want to be here anyway
We don’t even do the festival and that’s like the best you’re right might look like we’re doing bad, but we’re actually skipping
Aloooot. How long is the game like without any speed running? I mean days
Yeah, well the whole thing is about exploration and it’s own open world and you can just go wherever you want
Oh, let me do the race! Don’t worry, we don’t have to DO the race
Because we SPEEDRUN, SON!
I died by RNG, dude! There’s one youtuber called
Glad Jonas he does a lot of like highlights and speedrunning, but he also does fails and speedrunning
So I wonder if it will end up on Glad Jonas’s channel.
Just the whole video, (laughing) reuploaded to his channel.
We got a we got a game to beat here, Mario, we can’t just stop at every cutscene
I’ve always wanted to go in a blizzard like this.
What are you doing?? (I DON’T KNOW.)
Where am I?? WHERE AM I??
What are you doing?? (YOU JUST JUMPED INTO THE WATER.)
YEAH, WHERE ARE YOU GOING??
To the shop! TO THE SHOP!
I might die.
This is horrifying.
Okay, so this water looks really like (quenching?) Like, not quenching, but you can totally make a slushy with it.
I want to right we need to be ready. Poor Mario, he’s just like, shivering.
He’s like, “I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M DOING THIS.”
“I have no control over my body.”
“I’m just, jumping in the water, and rolling around in the snow.”
He looks… horrible. (laughing.)
He looks like he’s not having a fun time.
What of it, what if, uh, GAME THEORY.
Cappy was controlling Mario this entire time! I mean yeah, okay here it is here. It is here to thought about it
Oh look at you. (SPEEDRUNNING.)
I took two minutes. I lost some time because I jumped the wrong way, but (it’s a macaroni!)
How does Cappy’s internal organs work? oh
He’s a ghost. (OooOOOOOoooh)
Yeah (Oh, warmth!)
Yeah, yeah you need to yeah, you need to buy a moon as well. It looks like glitter
NO! (crying) Uh oh.
Would you have been able to get that if you had like knocked them all over.
You might be able to respawn them, but we don’t want to wait for that yeah
You need to buy a moon. (Look at aww these wittwe guys, eskimwows!)
They’re like little spheals
Oh, sorry (laughing)
Only in a video game can you like accidently slap someone.
You like walk up to the door, slap someone, and walk in.
I love how Mario comes in and like jumps on the thing like “I DEMAND A MOON!”
Come on faster
Okay, now. This is another another hard speedrunning technique that Adam is about to perform
Okay, so as we as you can see Optimus is lining up his jump
Okay you got it
Okay, we don’t need to-. You have to like you wall jump off of that there. Oh, yeah
I know how to do it, I know how to do it.
You need more like- NO!!!!
Look, they’re gossiping about you
I’d like to see you come here and jump 20 feet in the air with an umbrella!
There ya go.
GIVE ME MY MACARONI!
Don’t jump off, don’t jump off.
Okay always going to go down. Oh, you’re
Yeah, I know where it is, ROLLING POWERS. It’s in that corner.. It’s yeah. I love how the snow just like
Give me, BOOM, yeah
It’s like a marshmallow.
Wait is there another one no, that’s locked, can you swing across those lamps?
Yeah, you can but what I would have demonstrated, but you put put
This is also the first game that I’m speedrunning
Oh no- (laughing)
I wouldn’t know.
I thought throwing the hat would’ve turned me into it.
Doesn’t he already have a hat? (I GUESS.)
You don’t even need to be him (I WAS-)
You’re gonna fall (HGHNNNHHH)
I know how! DID IT, nailed it.There’s a little X on the top? I wonder what that- NOGHGLHGOHGKHJ
OH- (rELIEVED SCREAMINGG) my god.
Now you have stairs!
That was a lot easier. That was like way-
Pure skill. So, Jaiden. (Yeah?) Would y- how would you feel about harming video game animals?
Whoa. Umm, what do you mean.
Cuz you’re gonna have to. See all those you’re gonna have to kill them
(laughing) Oh, he likes it! (laughing gets harder)
Ya like that, man? (he does.)
Wanna return the favor? Oh, thanks. (laughing)
Why do I have the controls.
Wanted you to kill all of those spikies.
Yeah (I’m not going to.)
See? He-He’s like smart enough to not fall off.
You murdered him!
You have to like, go around (ok)
Look at my beautiful, blue eyes.
Ohh look at- the- my top jiggles. (laughing)
Sorry, guys, it’s not personal.
Yeah there we go
You don’t know how to blow, man? (laughing)
Uh, maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
Just kidding, this one’s an orange slice.
That would’ve been really great.
No you can’t go in there go to the left, I guess it really doesn’t matter what a door
Dolphins. (Got it.)
Alright. (Isn’t there a-) ‘SCUUUSE MEEE
This is a boss battle. Yeah, yeah
Oh h*ck yeah.
Oh my gOOD I thought that was a wall.
It’s a snow wall
Hug the wall, hug the wall.
So throw your hat at that thing
Okay now you have to like get to that vortex. Yeah
Wait what is that? What that go that way here yeah?
OH NO! Ohh it led you to your doom, sorry.
Hug the wall, hug the wall, hug the wall.
It’s a secret, but the boss gives you three moons
Can I like go around there, is that a speedrunning tactic? (NNNnoo.)
There he goes
You have to wall jump your way out
I wish wall jumps were as easy as that, you know I mean?
I wish a lot of things as easy as what Mario makes them look out to be.
Oh no, I don’t know any of the buttons.
I cANT CHANGE THE CAMERA!
This- OH NO.
Al- NO (intense laughing)
WHAT AM I DOING??? Oh, I’m pressing B!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (Jump on em, jump on em, jump on em)
What’s the jumping button??
HE’S SO WIGGLY! You have to throw your hat at his hat.
You can also speed running tactic- you can jump on him while he has his hat thrown
Look at him, he’s like so Wiggly
He reminds me of Goofy.
You have to land on him.
And he’s like, ‘hyu, hyu, hyu.’ (jaiden squealing)
I just imagine that- AHHH!
I just realized how much more of this game we have and it’s almost been two hours (YEAH, I KNOW)
Oh, and the Lunch Kingdom. (The Lunch Kingdom?) Oh, there’s SO MUCH MORE OF THIS GAME. There’s like three more…
Oh, did we only get one moon?
i thought we got threee. (i told you.) I THOUGHT WE GOT THREE?
i kept it to myself 🙂
I don’t know. I don’t know did interview like like if I ever told you about this character
I used to do (oh yeah). Me and my friends
In high school we used to like this is we kind of have like deeper voices and people
we just- Name one person.
We just like like we just like randomly go up to each other and just like
And then like like it’s like really tickle each other
You missed the moon.
We only need one more moon and- OHH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
I AM NOT GOING TO LOSE THAT EASY.
Oh, yeah you’re right, the moon piece, BUUUT.
Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy (look at him.)
Wait, what was that?
What was that tone, I know that tone.
(jaiden hums the wii sports tune)
Wii sports yeah, yeah, I didn’t make it
Just kidding I’m a master
Yes, I think I think just three more kingdoms unless I’m totally spacing out on one.
And then y’know, uh, dragon fight and Bowser’s fight.
There’s a dragon?? (yeah) (YES)
GAME THEORY. (laughing)
The reason why I think there’s a dragon is because now Skyrim
-is part of the Nintendo universe.
What’s your favorite Mario villain- enemy?
Y’know Dry Bones, or Bowser. Oh yeah, I do like Dry Bones- I like boo actually.
I always choose Boo on the character
This is gonna be difficult.
(Up there.) (adam gasps) Oh, I did this last time remember. Yeah, I know you did this last time
I remember. (You remember)
Recording where it didn’t happen
(jaiden laughing) Do it.
How DARE you make a fool of me.
I was THIS CLOSE.
Oh! (sighing) You lost your touch.
(laughing) Now watch the master.
lost his touch- NO HE DIDN’T. (x3) (james groaning) Lost his touch.
You know what the problem is? (what’s the problem.) So I’m not really…
AAAAAAAA (weird noises)(james groaning)
Do it in two hou-
Y’know what, let’s just-
Oh wait, was this real, intended way??
I mean, what other way is there? (Are you kidding.)
This is like, so much faster. (It’ll give you water.)
I MEAN, IF WE COULD DO IT FIRST TRY. (oh my goddd)
If we could do it first try, it would have been way faster.
There’s like a cav- RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THERE.
GO GET IT. (oooh.)
Step in the fire-
(gasp) PIGEONS! No, seagulls.
“PIGEONS, no seagulls. :(“
Do we have to fight the boss? No, because we’re speedrunners.
We don’t do anything.
Speed running is the art of doing as little as you possibly can. (I mean, yeah.)
Do it, like, just getting to it, this isn’t it. Wait, but I think this is a moon
Right there. Here!
Talk to the bird.
Is this a shop? Let’s quickly buy a moon. (Look at all the hats he has. A volleyball court!)
Oh wait, is that? No, I thought that was a moon underneath.
There’s a moon underneath one of those- yeah- laprases.
Eww, (But I-) his eyes.
His eyes look like astronaut helmets. (laughing)
Speedrunning tactic number four!
This water (NOPE, didn’t make it.) doesn’t look as quenchable because it’s salt water.
They added that in.
I think, okay, just don’t touch the remote. Just don’t touch it.
that seems really easy.
(half chuckling) Yeah.
DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE!
Look at how wiggly they are.
he’s like “Hey, whatcha got there?”
“OH HEY, LEMME SEE!” I’m trying to-o h.
(weird voice) “Ooh u got a moon congratulations!”
-and then, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
Aww. (snickering) “aaw”
It’s a coin!
Yeah, underwater cave.
DO YA SEE IT??? GET IT. (I’M GOING) GO FASTER. (I’M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN.)
Back to work as fast as you can
Then you stole his baby, oh wait bring it oh yeah
We know it’s like blue on one side, but then purple on the other
There should be a moon around here…there it is! One more…
This one didn’t take long at all.
Breathe did you ever get those like fish of affairs that never lasted that long? Oh my grandma my grandma got one of those
No, but my grandmother lasted for like years, and it was a look like giant. Oh, that’s good
Yeah, you imagine like winning a life from like tossing a hacky sack or something
That’s like…that’s the the thing behind the fish prizes. Oh, yeah you win
I thought you might like an extra life see that pepto-bismol. Don’t touch it. “Is that sugar? – It’s cocaine.”
We’re just gonna take the normal Laclede way
like Willy Wonka wait Oh tomato
What are they doing here?
I don’t think this is part of the road, but we’re doing we’re gonna catfish a girl. Bye. Oh
You’re on the top how does that work?
I’m the leader and they all are
When you see their feet act as hats
This is pretty – oh wait you can jump up there and then jump up there
It’s like really sad she like – ooh beloved Oh, and then immediately
Know her standards are just way too high she wants really tall
Look at all that cocaine I made that joke already you so much fun, New York. I said that
Beautiful its salt its salt everyone. I love the salt. It’s not
Is that sugar will get all the baking powder? Thank you look at all that dandruff look at all those chickens
Tiny tiny chickens what
No you don’t have to fight the bird oh
Can this be qualified as like a gaming and podcast you’re right can’t be game cast
I don’t think we can call anything that we do gaming
Hit them hit them with two more times and then
No, oh he gives me three minutes he exploded piracy back
There’s no game overs so at some point during the run we need to go up to that pot cause you get three moves without
Even having to fight the bird so the bird
There’s one right. Yeah. Yeah, do that do that way? I want to do. I have ligands really okay, Jaden has the controller
Never mind Jaden
Okay, yeah, okay, I wasn’t even the heart jumping. Yeah, I know
It’s fine it’s fine into whatever
Okay, I got the easy part was so hard for me, and then this firm is like that cake
The facts have been only one at one hour 58 minutes, and yeah, it’s Kennedy nine seconds, but who’s counting oh
Wait the gold one
Purpose actually heat so in Mario 64
To like ha they gave you clues to what where the stars were by giving you the name
Like one of them was bored Bowser’s sub so it’s like oh, I’m probably gonna find a star on Bowser’s submarine
But then in this one they don’t give you any names
So the bird what the bird just tells you the name of them
But a lot of times the names are like a lot of times the names don’t make sense
So much hole on the screen yeah, how long did you think that like?
Right here the right one over there. Oh, you’re right
Other than fuck up is not
Melted ice one day. What is it even supposed to be melted strawberry ice cream? You’re right melt boiling
Milk wait, but what about the speed when I weigh?
This is the spirit Wow I remember you have to like away. This isn’t this be ya know where you go
I don’t know where I’m going this isn’t this isn’t Argosy room. I thought I was going somewhere some more different
But this is secret one yeah, where is that room remember the one that we had so much
I know how to get to it. Go that way wait wait
Mm-hmm oh we should’ve got that on first so I do
Jaden we might we might be here for a while with this next bit no no
Way how do you jump again? Okay this way oh, yeah?
He get to go up, you don’t don’t don’t jump I mean you could do that if you’re a pro, but I am a pro
You ready, dude you ready. I’m ready watch this watch this I mean
Remember all you need to do the hammer bro. No no I don’t
Wear the records there was a point where like I was equivalent to a speed runner
I just haven’t played the game in like a long time
of all the hammer bros
Yeah, I mean a hammer probably
Think this is part of the speed run cuz you need it to get to the bird whoo
See there’s three moons up there
Can I do the beat one let’s just get both in there?
Yeah, oh we see that. There’s OC hammer bros being made undoing they’re like your OC hammer goro
I guess it has to be painful to with hard-boiled today
This is gonna be a difficult moon to get cuz after like collect five things. There’s one that’s like really hard to find
Right there no I got it. That’s where you’re supposed to go. There is got it
In high school everyone would say yeah
My school always always did like skill. Hey, we didn’t even buy a moon
To the meet Plateau
Okay, it’s fine. It’s fine. Just don’t do that again you do it too. Oh, well you know what?
And he wants to meet a
It’s amazing of Charlie cheese punch it. Yeah, all right. I guess like that like the way my chronic face thing
Okay, so we are going to speed run all the way over there
Let’s meet actually float
Yeah, I’ve never would meet in a liquid that more specifically does it float and
If it does does it matter I’m like what type of meat it is
But not beep you’re supposed to make it back up the mountain Wow last all the way back here. We need to go save them
Yeah look at that one more strip
We have the dragon fight, and then like Bowser’s thing and then we’re home free
We got an hour
Okay, we can do this around
The world oh, we’re shaking because there’s a dragon oh
Think it’s some weird like a really big dragon with a really powerful blast, but he just makes it like five wheels start going on
All you have to do is get close. Yeah, I mean right
So much, thank you everybody here we go
Thank you what if I didn’t sneeze is just bless mm-hmm last cycle
You jump through the rings don’t give a little trail
The practice jump roping oh no if I die if I die I die
One shot one shot, baby
No real list of it to Randy dase
Pom pom pom pom pom wait cut sing oh wait. I can’t escape it get ready to grab bag
Bugs here we go
One more Kingdom and a couple of boss fights
Wait do we even need a collective moons for this yeah, okay? Yeah, we don’t even need to collect moons great
We just need to get to the end
Wait actually, I knew those birds oh
Yeah, these are like the coolest birds because like
You know take me up take me up there we go
That took longer than it should’ve.
Jaiden: For five points? *gasp* That one’s really pretty, too! Adam: Little red one
Jaiden: It’s like a cherry
Jaiden: Cherry croissant Adam: Un croissant?
Jaiden: *in weird voice* cWoIsSAnt?
**Adam and James laughing**
**Jaiden keeps talking and Adam and James keep laughing**
**The effects of playing SMO for 2 hours straight are starting to show**
That is like my number one favorite video
James: Sounds just like the voice actor
You aim where the Lightning answers no just takes you away
For some reason speedrunners would collect these stars, so is that important?
Yeah, what do?
We need to collect we need to collect all the thing over there, and there’s a one factor all the way over there, yeah
Yeah, I like it
We have one house
Was fire hurt me oh no
You know I’d fire of course he’s gonna hurt you that was like I wasn’t supposed to get this
Friggin Mario being realistic a lot of people try and beat this game without collecting any coins
Yeah, but one of the boxes that I had to break for those mini moons
Gave me a coin, so it is impossible to beat it without zero coins you have to collect one point wait wait wait fire
Can’t like I’m sitting here trying to remember like the song that was stuck in my head earlier that we won. I can’t remember
There’s a way to there’s a way to hit
This one cuz I think at the time I when I was younger and then I played Kirby I called Kirby’s abilities
I called them jobs
The fire job yeah
There was a curry game on the Nintendo 64 and the Holly gimmick was that you could combine powers hmm
So you’d like having face powers like fire electricity and water
But then if you were like if you got electricity and like freezing if you like combined those would make a fridge
And the fridge would make food which would give you help, and that was that’s like all I could do
Not like dad though. I really liked it was it way was it that really slow-paced like science scroller one
It was a side scroller towards the end when you’re waiting you’ve seen the ending of this right. Yeah, okay towards the end when you’re
Spoiler playing as Bowser. There is a skip that saves two seconds, but if you fail it the runs over all right
But it’s at the very end so
You can actually jump on him nothing he’s doing that who’s doing that you are you’re right yeah
Speak he reminds me of like st. Patrick’s Day. Yeah. I let me go fun with the help
Oh, Oh Jared your joy to meet you
Brilliant ideas it’s like put a part in your hat and then you
Just kind of just kind of go up in his business
There we go yes
See this is where they straight up dying don’t come back. You’re right. Yeah, cuz they don’t appear on the boat anymore, yeah
But hey that’s just a theory
Wait we still have more. There’s still more. You didn’t know I mean yeah played this game all the time passenger
I can’t get over how pretty those words are hmm?
Push him off with your beak
Whoa you guys see that. Yeah. What are you doing? It was me running
Yeah get out of here
A little wink lot they do like oh, oh you’re right
Careful going down
Is there any like game that speedrunners always have to like wait a long period of time
Adam do one do this yes, there is the there’s a speedrunner way to like skip a big part of this boss fight
Adam has done it before so I know he can do it
you have to get back to
Their act there is a game. I think it’s one of the final fantasy games
Where you actually have to wait two weeks in real life or something really? I don’t know
I don’t know if it’s the Final Fantasy games
You know what were we talking about yeah?
Okay okay now. I didn’t now I can do it’s like it looks like actually
I think this is the last one right yeah
We can do this
We’re gonna be in a fail compilation okay, so if we can not mess up beat the boss
And then that one I’m gone yes
Yes, we they straight up died and now they’re in huh it’s called purgatory, okay, we have
Estimated time ten more minutes, there’s one more really big skip
That that will be really big and helpful. Oh man. Oh cab you Larry?
Last one last little bit. We did it team I mean that we’re not done I
Just want to say I am wait what?
We do more moons, okay, I told you
Okay, maybe 20 minutes, I’m
Just want to die by two you only buy one, otherwise I’d buy all of them
It’s okay there’s we know it we’re another one is that’s very man. That was so anticlimactic
Those top gaming woman somebody clipped that
This is gonna be the last moon. We collect just just so you though all in the row
Here we go
There we go I got you two moons right here
Yeah, okay now that’s completed. I just want to say
Okay, maybe fifteen it depends on how quick we can do this next skip. It’s 11:30 really
I told you we’re gonna be doing this in two like twelve Hey, okay
You can’t blame me for not knowing how long this would take because I never never done it before
Wait I could do that one
I can do the moon skip. Yeah, this is probably the biggest skip
Okay, so normally this is like
This is like the very end there’s a spot where there’s an octopus over there ah
And then what was I saying
So there’s like this this big room with a bunch of lava in it yeah, and it’s a like a big challenge
Yeah lava in the center see we have to go through that door right there yeah, and there’s a big big challenge, too
Well everything that you that you learned
You know you have to you have to use and that brings you up to the top of this cliff
but we are going to hippity-hop our way up the cliff without doing any oh the
Answered I’m now actually answering the riddle would would ruin it and watch this you were your mind will be like wow
There’s like a yeah, yeah, yeah, I
Have no idea there’s like a triangle yeah into the triangle yeah
I’ve never done the moon skip before so I’ve done it before I was good
If people haven’t turned off by now, they are definitely
Okay, you know what the L stands for No
Is if we run to the point where like like we’re just trying to finish now yeah
Commentary is secondary. I’m so hungry
No we could do for a video we could just cut this part out and just like
It’d be funny if it just shows us trying like yeah, it goes to be screaming. Yeah, look just to us in here
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you get ready ready he’s gonna crash. Yeah whoa
Now turn around and just fly through
Wait no. Do you can’t go through those things? Oh?
Yeah, I was kind of
Okay, okay, oh
This is only good for a certain amount of time. Yeah, you got it, okay, and I use no
Mike fell off right there
Like I’m scared. That’s that’s I think that’s good. Yeah. Don’t touch the game’s rolling oh
Let’s get a little bit tipped it a little bit. Okay. You’re going off to the left a little oh, yeah
Look at that. We made it we did the moon skip, yeah
Literally we can
Splendid okay, I’ll beat this I’ll beat this for us you guys
You know what whoever’s still watching good for you. Yeah, like what are you doing?
I took some dedication
Unlike in the background if you were working on a video
Yeah, like podcast except work there, but podcasting yeah
Whatever what if I fell off?
You don’t fall off. I will
Man wait, I’m getting this checkpoint. I’m getting this checkpoint just in case
You can do this I bet you. There’s some speed runners that are like just casually I get a better time than this yeah
Hit that half hit that hat I’m good I’m good all right. Yeah, no I object
That’s a better way
Yeah, I got you like butter don’t forget the the side outside they do
Yeah, it’s like one psych-out and to psych outs and then its source. Yeah, they suck you out you think you learned Oh
a jump jump
Like you gotta like cover
You messed up one more time
Alright if you get hit that’s true if I get hit that one
Second wow that was way too late ok no no get back up there get back up there
There’s 20 minutes left, I don’t even know whose side. I’m on the timer time
Oh champ I’ve never seen this for you to run before but it’s the worst one. I’ve ever
Just think we started this adventure today
And it’s it’s gonna be tomorrow soon. You think of a better way to spend your time
And then slide out in and punch one hole one punch, man
Yeah, man gaming channels, and we’ll do so much yeah
You like the the 24-hour live streams that are crazy
And also we’re starving yeah, I need food like food is our reward
Run from a gas in this it’s time to jump up
I guess okay one and then two and then three and then I guess wait over there for
Okay, I wanted to do the Bowser skip, but no we have 99 times
We got hurry and get out of here. Yeah, no kidding. We only have 18 minutes
So close I’m like I’m like I’m like so I’m like I’m like I can’t finish my sentence
I didn’t even know what you had to do, but I knew you’re doing it wrong
Wait wait you always die at this point. Yes. You do not let me do it
You’re not have the good drawing board
I know because I’ve done it before yeah, I’m getting pretty to do you yeah, I’m like
Tensing all my muscles and I don’t have you have no it. I feel like I feel like I feel like a kid
Yeah, I there was a lot of things we did wrong that a real speedrunner. Whatever we started that I would never noticed
Dragon shake shake shake shake it off. Okay. This is like the last little bit oh
One more little challenge. Yeah, do not fall. Yeah. Yeah, I
Got this like it’s the four pillars look at the sonic music for some reason
Oh, yeah, you can shake to like hit while you’re like walking up to it
Yeah, sonic music
That checkpoint if you make it holy I mean probably not cuz it’s Mario Mario hates me
You have like none of those fighters hit back
Oh my god, it’s all falling take the safe path
Come on yes, yes, okay, okay? Yeah, yeah because you do like
Mario hold it down
We made it everyone we beat it. We beating yeah, we did it we did it
We did it now watch more you’ll get so mad, so let’s final thoughts final thoughts. What was your favorite part?
What was your least favorite part the part where just moonscape?
my least favorite
We did it oh
Okay that was just watch it’s fine. I would have picked Bowser. I would pick over
I mean put it on this effort for a really nice wedding
On the moon, yeah, Martin is just here to ruin it yeah
I mean it took him three hours to even get there
I mean sure she’s being forcefully married, but I would is a good mare. I would want to be for something that never mind
No, I don’t know if you can skip this cutscene, but we don’t want you. Oh, wow you just straight up. Oh
Yeah now wait now Bowser’s like the same size. Yeah, see I told you before he used to be alive. He’s towering over her yeah
Wow aren’t we such great Mario maker I mean Mario people where do you think this fits into Mario timeline?
Then friggin friggin Mario
Bowser I mean I guess
Castle but wow we did it we did it we got
12 minutes left
Thank you everyone we’re done this game, ah should we do an outro I’m hungry
Yeah, subscribe to something else why teams from the m20 genome animations
Donwell who I am alright that’s conceited don’t put that in your on my channel so of course
Why would I say subscribe to never mind wow?
That was do you think that there’s any one who found odd to that before odd ones out?
There have you been like a pendant made one I wonder if there’s like one person they cut escaped put all you found this channel
Jaiden: there’s like… there’s like
James: do they even explain why there’s ice there
Adam: uhh i think so- i tHINK SO
Jaiden: Okay guys say hi to the face
Adam: *noises* HI FACE
James: you did it! Jaiden: see that’s all you need- *gasp* more birds!