The First Guy To Ever Punch Someone

The First Guy To Ever Punch Someone


Guy 1: Hey, listen, I wanna talk to you about your face. Okay?
Guy 2:
Uh, okay. Yeah, what about it?
Guy 1: I don’t-I don’t like it.
Guy 2:
Oh! Okay. Um, I’m sorry, I guess.
Guy 1: I just-I don’t like looking at it at all. I don’t like it.
Guy 2:
Okay, I mean you don’t have to; You could look elsewhere.
Guy 1: I’m jus-I’m looking this way and your face is there. And I don’t like that and I would appreciate if you moved it.
Guy 2:
I mean, I’ve been standing here for 72 hours. I’m not moving now.
Guy 1: Well, it looks like you forced me into a corner here and I’m all out of options.
Guy 2:
What do you-what d-what do you mean?
Guy 1: You forced my hand!
Guy 2:
To-to do what?
Guy 1: I’m gonna-I’m gonna list everything I don’t like about your face.
Guy 2:
Oh, I don’t-I’m not gonna-I don’t like that. That doesn’t sound pleasant.
Guy 1: It is gonna be unpleasant. Okay. First of all, I don’t like your glasses. They make your eyes too big. You look like a lemur.
Guy 2:
Yeah, that’s the dumbest animal.
Guy 1: I don’t think you blink enough and your nose is unnecessary.
Guy 2:
Okay, that’s-I’m actually pretty sensitive about my blinking.
Guy 1: Your hair is…
A-arbitrary.
Guy 2:
I don’t know what that meant, but I didn’t like how it f-fe-fe-felt.
Guy 1: The-the shape of your face is…
f***ed.
Guy 2:
Okay, you need to shut your mouth and stop saying things with it.
Guy 1: No, I’m gonna keep listing, actually. Your ears-If I-if I had to point them out in a line-up,
it would be very simple to do that because of how stupid they look like.
Like it wouldn’t even be a pr–
*smack*
Guy 1: What did you-what did you do to me?!
Guy 2:
I don’t-I-I don’t know.
Guy 1: That hurt everything in my head so much. What did you do?
Guy 2:
Well, I didn’t like the sounds you were making with your mouth.
So, I thought maybe if I put my hand there really fast, it might obstruct your whole speaking area without you even noticing.
Guy 1: Well, I noticed the whole thing!
Guy 2:
Well, yeah! I could see that.
Guy 1: I didn’t like that at all. I can’t make that clear enough. I-I hated it.
Guy 2:
Well, good, you know.
Guy 1: Oh, man!
Oh!
Guy 2:
So-so are you like done saying mean things about my face ’cause of that?
Guy 1: Well, I had some other things to list off. But if I do that, are you gonna do that hand thing again?
Guy 2:
I mean…
Yeah, I guess I could.
Guy 1: Well then, i’m not gonna say those things!
Guy 2:
Well, that-that that is awesome!
Guy 1: Yeah, whatever! Just don’t do that thing again. That’s not cool.
Guy 2:
Well…
well, what if I do do it again?
Plea-please-please don’t!
Guy 2:
Wow! You really don’t like it, huh?
Guy 1: I feel-I feel like I’m being clear. I don’t-I don’t like it.
Guy 2:
So-so-so I could just be like,
“Give me your lunch money.”
Guy 1: Wha-wha-what are you talking about?
Guy 2:
Well, you know, give me your lunch money or I’ll do the hand thing again.
Guy 1: Well, it’s like 2:00 p.m. I already ate my lunch money!
Guy 2:
Well, I think you’re supposed to use that to buy lunch.
Guy 1: Well, nobody told me that. I’m just winging it out here.
Guy 2:
Okay, well, give me your house.
Guy 1: No! That’s-I can’t give you that.
Guy 2:
I’ll do-I’ll do the hand thing. Give me your house.
Guy 1: Come-come on, my-all my stuff is in there!
Guy 2:
Well, give it!
Guy 1: Well-well, then, how ’bout I do the hand thing to you?!
Guy 2:
We can’t do the hand thing. I’m the one who does the hand thing.
Guy 1: Maybe I can. You don’t know.
Guy 2:
Well, I mean, there’s no precedent for that though. Historically-speaking,
I’m the one that does the hand thing where I move my hand really fast into somebody’s mouth.
You wouldn’t even know where to st–
*smack*
Guy 1: Oh! I did it.
Guy 2:
Oh, man. I hated that.
Guy 1: Yeah, I told you. It’s awful! I have a headache!
Guy 2:
Oh, yeah, I do too, and it sounds like a phone’s ringing.
(Guy 3) Yeah, I saw you guys do that hand thing to each other. Do that some more. Okay?
Guy 1: Actually, I feel like we should probably not do it to each other anymore.
Guy 2:
It does seem dangerous.
Guy 1: Yeah, like one of us can end up unconscious, or something.
(Guy 3) Oh, that sounds really cool.
Okay. How ’bout I give some money to the one of you that knocks the other person out?
Guy 2:
Yeah, I don’t know, man. It really hurts.
Guy 1: Yeah, and I already ate.
(Guy 3) Okay. Well, what if the winner also gets, uh…….
this belt?
Guy 2:
Whoa! A belt?!
Guy 1: I want that fricken’ belt!

100 thoughts on “The First Guy To Ever Punch Someone”

  1. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram or I'll do the hand thing…..
    Although now that I type that out it sounds inappropriate.
    http://twitter.com/theryangeorge
    http://instagram.com/theryangeorge

  2. These videos always remind me of the movie "The invention of lying", except these videos are entertaining.

    PS. This isn't shade on Ricky Gervais, most of his stuff is good.

  3. Ryan George. Write a post apocalyptic movie, where everyone has been hit with a forget ray, or something… and they have to relearn everything.

    RYAN GEORGE. WRITE A POST APOCALYPTIC MOVIE, WHERE EVERYONE HAS BEEN HIT WITH A FORGET RAY, OR SOMETHING… AND THEY HAVE TO RELEARN EVERYTHING.

  4. Ok, I love the Pitch Meetings and a couple of other things Ryan has done, but this is absolutely brilliant.
    I about fell over when he said he was sensitive about his blinking. 0:41

  5. How the script should've gone….."if i had to point your ears out of a line up, it……..would've been super easy, a minor inconvenience"

  6. The only way I see this being any more realistic is if guy 1 and 2 didn't have any comprehension of empathy on this level.

  7. And thus Professional Boxing was born! XD
    I can't help but wonder though, did people know how to grapple in this alternate world if they didn't strike? 😛
    Now I kind of wish punching was just referred to as, "The Hand Thing." lol

  8. These videos must be promoting a New Age Alien UFO conspiracy theory, because they depict an early human living in an advanced civilisation.

  9. Funny! Would you please look into the legend that swearing was invented by a guy named Og who dropped a big rock on his foot?

  10. Wait he said lunch money? The only place where anyone would ever use lunch money is in school and it's pretty unbelievable that school started before punching was invented so say sike right now

  11. The crazy thing is… the glasses actually make you look like a different person, maybe superman was onto something.

  12. This is an amazing introduction to your channel.
    Looking forward to exploring it further and seeing more of your content!

  13. False, everyone knows punching was invented after the first video game, Hand Throw, was released in the year 195 BC.

  14. The first guy to ever:
    live in a house
    speak a language
    grow plants
    wear clothes
    invade a country
    use money
    own an animal

  15. This is definitely one of your best skits. Plot twists, self-depricating humor, an immense joke density, internal callbacks, societal commentary, it has it all.

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