Guy 1: Hey, listen, I wanna talk to you about your face. Okay?
Uh, okay. Yeah, what about it?
Guy 1: I don’t-I don’t like it.
Oh! Okay. Um, I’m sorry, I guess.
Guy 1: I just-I don’t like looking at it at all. I don’t like it.
Okay, I mean you don’t have to; You could look elsewhere.
Guy 1: I’m jus-I’m looking this way and your face is there. And I don’t like that and I would appreciate if you moved it.
I mean, I’ve been standing here for 72 hours. I’m not moving now.
Guy 1: Well, it looks like you forced me into a corner here and I’m all out of options.
What do you-what d-what do you mean?
Guy 1: You forced my hand!
To-to do what?
Guy 1: I’m gonna-I’m gonna list everything I don’t like about your face.
Oh, I don’t-I’m not gonna-I don’t like that. That doesn’t sound pleasant.
Guy 1: It is gonna be unpleasant. Okay. First of all, I don’t like your glasses. They make your eyes too big. You look like a lemur.
Yeah, that’s the dumbest animal.
Guy 1: I don’t think you blink enough and your nose is unnecessary.
Okay, that’s-I’m actually pretty sensitive about my blinking.
Guy 1: Your hair is…
I don’t know what that meant, but I didn’t like how it f-fe-fe-felt.
Guy 1: The-the shape of your face is…
Okay, you need to shut your mouth and stop saying things with it.
Guy 1: No, I’m gonna keep listing, actually. Your ears-If I-if I had to point them out in a line-up,
it would be very simple to do that because of how stupid they look like.
Like it wouldn’t even be a pr–
Guy 1: What did you-what did you do to me?!
I don’t-I-I don’t know.
Guy 1: That hurt everything in my head so much. What did you do?
Well, I didn’t like the sounds you were making with your mouth.
So, I thought maybe if I put my hand there really fast, it might obstruct your whole speaking area without you even noticing.
Guy 1: Well, I noticed the whole thing!
Well, yeah! I could see that.
Guy 1: I didn’t like that at all. I can’t make that clear enough. I-I hated it.
Well, good, you know.
Guy 1: Oh, man!
So-so are you like done saying mean things about my face ’cause of that?
Guy 1: Well, I had some other things to list off. But if I do that, are you gonna do that hand thing again?
Yeah, I guess I could.
Guy 1: Well then, i’m not gonna say those things!
Well, that-that that is awesome!
Guy 1: Yeah, whatever! Just don’t do that thing again. That’s not cool.
well, what if I do do it again?
Wow! You really don’t like it, huh?
Guy 1: I feel-I feel like I’m being clear. I don’t-I don’t like it.
So-so-so I could just be like,
“Give me your lunch money.”
Guy 1: Wha-wha-what are you talking about?
Well, you know, give me your lunch money or I’ll do the hand thing again.
Guy 1: Well, it’s like 2:00 p.m. I already ate my lunch money!
Well, I think you’re supposed to use that to buy lunch.
Guy 1: Well, nobody told me that. I’m just winging it out here.
Okay, well, give me your house.
Guy 1: No! That’s-I can’t give you that.
I’ll do-I’ll do the hand thing. Give me your house.
Guy 1: Come-come on, my-all my stuff is in there!
Well, give it!
Guy 1: Well-well, then, how ’bout I do the hand thing to you?!
We can’t do the hand thing. I’m the one who does the hand thing.
Guy 1: Maybe I can. You don’t know.
Well, I mean, there’s no precedent for that though. Historically-speaking,
I’m the one that does the hand thing where I move my hand really fast into somebody’s mouth.
You wouldn’t even know where to st–
Guy 1: Oh! I did it.
Oh, man. I hated that.
Guy 1: Yeah, I told you. It’s awful! I have a headache!
Oh, yeah, I do too, and it sounds like a phone’s ringing.
(Guy 3) Yeah, I saw you guys do that hand thing to each other. Do that some more. Okay?
Guy 1: Actually, I feel like we should probably not do it to each other anymore.
It does seem dangerous.
Guy 1: Yeah, like one of us can end up unconscious, or something.
(Guy 3) Oh, that sounds really cool.
Okay. How ’bout I give some money to the one of you that knocks the other person out?
Yeah, I don’t know, man. It really hurts.
Guy 1: Yeah, and I already ate.
(Guy 3) Okay. Well, what if the winner also gets, uh…….
Whoa! A belt?!
Guy 1: I want that fricken’ belt!