The Gridiron (Full Movie) Comedy Drama Sport.  Football vs. Soccer

The Gridiron (Full Movie) Comedy Drama Sport. Football vs. Soccer


Well? How many recruits for your
business empire did you get last
night then Rothschild? None of your business. None then I take it? Quite a few actually. Oh right. Just my mate knows
someone who lost a lot of money
getting involved with those… pyramid schemes. It’s not a bloody pyramid
scheme. Its a genuine business
opportunity, and if last night was anything
to go by I’m going to be driving
one of these soon. You are so full of it I can
smell you from here. Bog off you. Alright lads that’s enough, back
to work. This is amazing, it’s all about American football
teams that are starting up all
over Britain. I’d love to play. There’s a team starting up in
Manchester, I might go along and
try out, see what happens. Something else now is it? What do you mean? Some other idea that’s going to
take over your life. It’s not like that. That’s exactly how it is. Anyway how are you going to get
to Manchester? You haven’t even passed your
test and don’t think I am going to
drive you thirty or forty miles
a week. We haven’t got the money for
petrol or train fares. You don’t understand… No. It’s you who doesn’t
understand. What about me? What about the
dreams we both used to share. What’s happened to us? Nothing has happened to us.
Everything I do is for us. No Derek everything you do is
for you and I’m just about fed
up with it. No more. How do you fancy playing
American Football? (Laughs) Joking aren’t you? No I’m dead serious. There are
teams starting up all over the
country. Oh Yeah and I’ll bet they are
crying out for long streaks of
piss like me with one leg longer than the
other. Don’t be daft, you could be the
holder or something. Yeah brill, a poxy holder,
Great. Anyway how could we get to a
team? Neither of us can drive. I don’t know, I just need a mate
to come with me. Look. If there was a team here
like, local, then yeah, maybe I
would. But I just haven’t got the time
or money, Not with the baby an everything. Get in. Gerry. Wait. Proceed. Ever thought about playing
American Football? (Laughs) Why would I want to
play that? There are teams starting up in
Manchester and Stafford. I fancy
giving it a go, just wondered if you fancied it
too like? Lads. Have you heard this. Mister Universe here thinks he’s
going to be an American
Footballer. Don’t you? Come on show us your muscles. Ouch! piss off you, only asking. Bunch of puffs all that
padding… and bloody helmets. You shouldn’t put yourself down.
You should play a tougher sport
like… table tennis. Alright, settle down. Huthuthut (Boss Shouts) WORK! Well? You going to tell me what
is up with you. You’ve been like a dog with no
dick since you came in. Nobody wants to play American
football, all they do is take
the piss out of me. There is no way I can get to
training. So I failed again. Ha bloody ha. Hey! Don’t take it out on me
because people have got more
sense than you. I told you to try and pass your
driving test. How long have I been on at you? I really want to do this Kym. And I really want the bills
paying like you promised and I really want a nice house. Oh and I really want to start a
family. You see we all want things
Derek. But take a look around,
look how we live. (Friends voice in head) If we
had a team here like, local,
then yeah, maybe I would, but I haven’t got
the time or money….(end) That’s it! I’m going to start my own team. I’m going to start my own team
here in Crewe. I won’t need a car and I’ll be
guaranteed to play. Yeah, my own American Football
team (Music starts) (Music fades out) Ey’ up Maggie. Oh hi. I’ll be with you in a
minute. It’s okay, I was looking for
Sharky? Look. Why don’t you just let me
get you a pint instead. Hey don’t fret Maggie, it’s not
what you think. They’re out back. Be careful. They’ve got a client out there
with them. (Background voice) Fifty quid by
weekend or your car is mine. Nod
if you understand. (Loud cry of pain) What was that for? So he understands. He just said that he
understands, just let him go you
dozy get. Can you tell you he’s a bit new?
Bit raw. Come into the office. Sit down, Now then. It’s a fiver short. I need to borrow some more. You have to be kidding? You
never pay on time, I’m always having to chase you
and you still owe me a fiver. You’ve got no chance. Come on Sharky, this is what you
do, lend money to desperate
people like me. How much do you want? Two hundred quid. Alright. Fifty quid a month for
six months. First payment in six weeks time
and I’ll let you off the fiver. Three hundred quid? Do you want it or not? What’s up with you? Oh you on a
promise tonight or what? No mate I’ve decided to start an
American Football team here in
Crewe. What! You’re bloody mad. How
many players have you got. Two. No, no, no, no, no…NO! Oh come on Sean. You said yourself if there was a
team local like you would get
involved. And we’ll make a fortune as
well. How do you work that out? Just think about it. American
Football is going to be huge
over here. People will turn up in their
thousands to watch. We’d make a packet on the gate
receipts. You said I’d make a bomb being
in your down stand selling that
cleaning stuff. Down line, its called down line. Well yeah that, I’m still broke. Look, There is a warehouse in
Warrington that had all the
equipment. Come with me and have a look,
that’s all I’m asking. You’re such a pain in the arse.
I don’t have money for train
fare. I’ll pay your fare. Simple. Just
come with me. Don’t expect me to buy anything.
I’m up to here with your crazy
ideas. Oh yeah just laugh… yeah It’s going to be good, it will
work. (Sean laughs) What’s up with you? A..F..U..K.. A…FUK Hello boys. How are you? What
can we do for you today? We are just starting up a new
American football team. Thought we’d come and have a
look at prices get an idea. Yeah, yeah, alright…come in
mate. We’ve gt everything in here you
are going to need for American
Football. Absolutely everything. These are all absolutely brand
new not a scratch on them. You’re going to need one of
these. The stuff behind you here… now
these shoulder pads are second
hand, it’s really good stuff. In there
we have just had a delivery from
the States. You can look in there later if
you like. Everything Here is
great for the NFL. You’re not going to want
anything else. So any questions you got, either
of you, just ask okay? What team are you? Crewe Railroaders. (Laughs) I’ve never heard of
you. No, we’re new! Yeah well we play for er… Manchester. That’s why we know what we are
selling you see. We understand all the gear. Lets
try you out, come on. There you go, lets get that on
you. Okay so you are going to get
hurt in this game if you don’t understand what to
buy and how to wear it. Okay? See, best possible protection. Now this is real good, this is
really good. What position do you play? Erm… Well I don’t really have
a position yet. (Cry of shock, lots of laughter) Hey, hey, hey, come back. Did it
hurt? I nearly bloody shit myself. It didn’t hurt and I’ll tell you
why. These are the best possible pads
money can buy. Right you are going to need one
of these. So when you put this on pull
this out over your ears. Same when you take it off,
alright? Try that on. Hey! You’re not hitting me with
that again. Chill out it’s fine. (Lots of laughter) You are so chicken. Come here. We can’t touch these mate
because these are an order, we can’t touch them they are
brand new. So chill out it’s
fine. You look a right dickhead. Bollocks you, bet I look bloody
brilliant. No really you look like a dick
head. I’ll take them. Cool. Into the office mate,
let’s go. Kym? Close your eyes love. Are they closed? They’re closed, what are you up
to now? Right. Open them. (Laughs) You bloody dickhead. Where did you get that lot from? Where did the money come from
Derek? It’s alright, don’t worry about
it. No it’s not alright and don’t
you dare tell me not to worry. I knew this would happen I just
knew. I’m sorry love. I know you think
this is one of my stupid ideas. This sport is going to be huge
in this country. Sky’s the limit if this thing
takes off. But just say no and I’ll quit,
you’re more important. Please Kym. Just promise me no more spending
and I mean no more. No more spending, promise. You’ve promised before. Not like this, I’m begging you. Don’t beg you’re pathetic enough
as it is. Oh…just bloody do it, you’re
going to do it anyway. Really? Are you being honest?
Thank you. I love you. Hey you’re not going
to regret this. Oh I’m sure I will. And stop nicking flowers from
the park. (Music starts) (Music fades out) Right love I’m off. (Knock at door) I know. I look like a dickhead. Just go. Shut up you. (Loud shouts) You wanker. I’m sure that wasn’t aimed at
you mate. Isn’t many people. At least there are some mate. At
least there are some. Good Morning. Well thanks for all turning up. My name is Derek and I am the,
erm, well head coach I guess. This is Sean my assistant. I’ll
just get your names. Golightly Oakesy Sean Mozzer Lloyd Sinny I’m Crank I’m Cadillac, this is Jenny Alright Boss. I‘m Eddie and I
just wanna shag Cheerleaders! It’s alright, I’m only kidding.
I just wondered if you wanted a
team Physio? I’m a member of the Saint John
Ambulance and er… if anyone gets injured I can
help out like boss. Wow, yes that would be great
Eddie thanks. Also I thought could referee a
bit, only in practice. Because I watch it on the telly,
just help out generally boss. Ace, what can I say. Oy! This is our pitch. But we were here first, what’s
wrong with the other pitches. This is our pitch I said. Why don’t you take you and your
friends and piss off. Want me take care of ‘em Boss? Before things get nasty No it’s easier if we just move
on. Piss off to the U.S. if you are
going to play this sort of game. You bunch of pufters. Go on. Go on tossers. Go on. Go on Piss off. Right, sorry about that. Okay, I’m assuming you all
understand the basic principles
of the game? Okay, well lets start practising
where it all begins, the snap. So first of all I need a Center. Mozzer yes? Yea you will do.
Come here. Right so I’m going to be the
Quarterback, you’re the Center. You have to snap the ball into
my hands. Basically ram it up your arse in
one swift movement. That’s about the jist of it.
I’ll do the rest. (Group laughter) Hey, you’re not a bender are
you? No I’m not. This what they do at
the start of each play. Yes? Woah! That’s too weird mate. You
touched my bollocks mate, no
way. (Group laughter) You some bender or what? I think er, we ought to get to know each
other a bit better before we do
that again. Here you are Coach. Jenny will
do it for you. Oh yes (laughter) Thank you. I think we should
just split into two teams and have a game of four on four,
yes? One, two, three, BREAK. Come on. Ready… HUT! (aggresive shout) Yes Coach, (celebration) come
on. Shit! EDDIE, EDDIE get here now. Okay, okay, stand back, stand
back let me have a look. Stand back, back, BACK! Do you know what you are doing? There you go son. Up you get. How heavy are you
bloody hell. It’s alright boss, I’ve got him,
oops. Come on son. You alright? You alright son? Okay everybody listen up please.
Go ahead Coach. Thanks Sean. Well that wasn’t
how I wanted to end today’s
session. But I hope you have all enjoyed
what was really just a try out. (Players) Yeah, brilliant,
thanks, great.. We’ll meet again next week, same
time. If you know anyone who is
interested bring them along. Oh and it might be a good idea
to find yourselves motor cycle
helmets or something, just so we don’t have any more
accidents like we had today. Alright see you next week.
Thanks a lot. Bye. Well, what did you think? Yeah, really enjoyed myself
actually. Yes, you even knew what you were
doing most of the time. Most of the time (laughs) Coach. Hey! You’re not coming in here
with that stinky smelly outfit. Alright. Hey love guess what?
You’re looking at Coach Simmons. Out. Hey listen love, it went really
well, apart from the bit when they
thought I was a puff, but I think this is going to
work. Take those smelly clothes off
before you come in here. And don’t think I’m washing
them…Coach Simmons. Alright Mavis. Go on, show’s
over. That’s it lads well done. Good hands Jenny, lads she’s
showing you up. That’s it keep it up, eyes open,
that’s it. Come on lads listen to Coach.
Right everyone. Gather around,
gather around. We’ve got five new lads. Big
lads as well brilliant. Right. It’s good to see you all
again, fantastic. Right then… I thought I made it clear that,
this is our pitch. But you used that pitch over
there last week. Yeah but we want to play on this
pitch now. GET LOST. Let me have a go at him boss. No Eddie it’s not worth it.
Let’s just move on. We’re on the wrong pitch again.
Come on, off you go, follow me. Go on. Get lost you pufter, go
on. Go on. Get lost you pansy pussy. (Victorious cheers) It’s alright Mozzer, come on
lads take a breather, take a
breather, well done. Right that’s it for this week.
Go and get yourself home. Get your feet up you did well.
See you later. Coach, can I have a quick word. Course you can Oaksey, what is
it? This is my girlfriend Angela. She wants to ask you if you want
to form a group of Cheerleaders. Cheerleaders? Yeah. I know a few girls who
want to do it. I’m a dancer so I can do all the
choreography. I just wondered if you wanted
anything like that? Absolutely, of course I do yeah,
thank you very much. That’s brill, the girls will be
dead chuffed. Thanks Coach. Cheers, thank you. Hey, I could of done that. Why
didn’t you say something? What you be a cheerleader, I
don’t think so. You fancy her don’t you? You do,
you bloody fancy her. What are you on about Jen? I just saw you, you were looking
at her. You’ve been checking the lads
out all day. No I haven’t. You were like
staring at her. But it’s Oaksey’s misses. And? Well he’s my mate isn’t he? But you were looking at her,
just makes me feel… There’s no harm in looking is
there? Well there is actually. Oh listen if you’re going to get
jealous like that, why don’t you just do one eh? Go
on. Is that how you feel? You going to carry on or we
going back to ours? I do everything for you. Right what do you do for me? I come and watch these matches. Well you don’t have to. I don’t
ask you to do I? Oh just go and do one Jen I
can’t be arsed. Piss off will
you. No you piss off. You know what?
I’ve had it. Alright. See you later. Bye. Well mate. We’ve been in
existence eight days the team is
starting to take shape. And now Cheerleaders. I think
this thing might just take off. What we really need is an
American Coach, someone with some real
experience you know what I mean? I can only take this so far. It’s starting to take shape
mate, starting to take shape, it
is. Where are we going to find an
American in Crewe? What was that for? For letting me start the
Railroaders? (laughs) Is that why. I thought
that maybe that you loved me? I do you know I do. Kym I’ve managed to sell all the
cleaning stock back to the
sponsor. I’m not going to waste any more
money on that. And all the money is going to go
back in the Bank. Good. You really are beginning to make
more of an effort. But I’m still nervous though. What about love? I’m still waiting for another
one of your hair brained
schemes. There won’t be one. The
Railroaders is all I care about
now. Oh and you of course! Well just you make sure that
money goes into the bank. Of course. Your pitch? Come on lads, move along. That’s it for today guys, great
session, great session. Right go and rest up and I’ll
see you next week. Should be enough for a couple
more helmets and pads. You sure? I thought you had
money problems? No, yeah it’s fine. I managed to
sell all my stock back to the
sponsor. Well, with this money and all
the subs we have collected so
far, we’ve probably got enough for
six sets of shoulder pads and
four helmets for next week. Magic. Are we having a good time boys
and girls? Alright lets hear it for Angie
and Oaksey. I thought you said you paid
Sharky this month. What do you mean? You know damn well what I mean. You’ve been crapping yourself
every time that door opens. That obvious? She’s hardly likely to start
anything here is she? Not with
this lot about. Same again? Who’s this? Jenny I told you we’re over. Yeah, he’s with me now, so just
go. You little cow! Well well look who it is. The
elusive Mister Simmons. Hi Sharky. Don’t bloody hi Sharky me. Fifty
quid now. I haven’t got it. We have a problem then don’t we
son. Oh please Sharky, that’s all
I’ve got in the world. I’m going to call this your
interest payment for being late. You still owe me three hundred
quid. Oh come off it Sharky Fifty quid in two weeks time. (sound of hit to stomach) Fifty quid. (Sharky’s voice) Stop hitting
people will you. Hope you like it. Well? Look! I got one for myself, so
we can wear them at the same
time. How brill is that? Don’t know why I got my hopes
up. Why did I think this year
would be different? Thanks love it’s gorgeous. Just like its owner. Hey. You fancy going back to bed
for a bit? You never know there may be
another present up there for
you. Alright I suppose we can spare
two minutes before we go to
your mum’s. Happy Birthday Kym. Thanks. It’s erm, it’s…it’s…lovely. When I saw it I thought of you.
I knew you’d like it. How’s work going? Oh Mum, you know I hate work,
why do you always ask me? No back bone that’s your
problem. Always after an easy
life. I’m not after an easy life,
there’s just more to life than
bloody Royce’s. No need to swear and Rolls-Royce
has done your father no harm. Sorry Mum. Anyway shouldn’t have
to be there much longer, because
my team… The only way you will be leaving
Royce’s is if you win the pools
or die. But why? I thought your picture
framing business was doing well? Mum, that was ages ago, I told
you it didn’t work out. I needed a shop really for that
to work. But anyway I’m… Always an excuse isn’t there ey?
Always somebody else’s fault. Never stick at anything for
longer than ten minutes. I thought it was doing well? Well if someone will give me a
chance I’ll tell you that…. Anyway what’s for after’s Petal? Trifle. Go on what were you
going to say? Nothing. It doesn’t matter the
trifle is more important
obviously. Anyway happy birthday Kym. If it
doesn’t fit you can always take
it back alright. Well I don’t know about anybody
else but I’m going to have some
of this trifle. Looks like this is our pitch
today. Right we’ve got a couple of new
faces, so lets see some welcome
tackles. Don’t worry lads we will go
easy. Right lets warm up one lap
around the pitch off we go. Sorry Boss. What the… Can I have a word like? Quickly. Well this American guy just
moved in the street across us. Really? Yeah yeah. Well it’s our
neighbour you see. She’s a school teacher like and
she’s done this like exchange
with an American couple. Have you met him yet? Yeah, it’s his wife who does the
teaching so he’s got nothing to
do. He said he would love to help
out, maybe be a Coach or
something. When can I meet him? Well I’ll talk to him tonight
and let you know yeah? Coach does this mean you know,
that I’ve got position of
Center? We’ll have to see how you do
today won’t we Mozzer, come on. Here we are son, let me have a
look, come here. Which one is it? Is it this one?
What? Woo hoo Derek. Hi Boys. Hiya Derek, Hi oops I
mean..Coach (giggle). Got a minute to look at our
first routine? Er yes of course, what now? Yes. Alright yeah. Just remember we have only been
practising a short while. Not many of you. There will be more on the day. Ready.. Five… six… seven…
eight U..L..G..Y you ain’t got no
alibi youz UGLY boy oh boy youz
UGLY. U…L…G…Y..Youz UGLY. U..L..G..Y you ain’t got no
alibi youz UGLY boy oh boy youz
UGLY. U…L…G…Y..Youz UGLY. Debbie… DEBBIE.. Put that fag
out. What do you think? Yeah, erm just one thing. Ugly
is U.G.L.Y not U.L.G.Y Yeah, that’s what we said. Right. Keep it up. Debbie put that fag out. Yo! What up dog. Hello James, you alright? This
is Derek I was telling you
about. Come on in guys take a seat. Hey thanks for inviting us over. I can’t tell you how excited we
are and what a boost this will
mean for the team. I told him what you said like
and you might be interested in
coaching the team. When I heard you guys were
playin’, man I bugged out. Listen I’ll help out in any way
I can. Ace. So you played at college
then? No, I like to work out but you
couldn’t pay me to play no
football. Ah okay, so you just coached? No no no never coached. So you don’t know anything about
coaching? Listen man, if you went to the
States right, you would know
more about soccer than anybody over there, even
though you have never been a
coach. You feel me? Well I know Football, grew up
with it dog. Er okay suppose you have a
point. And I was the equipment manager
for the Basketball team when I
was in college. Watched those cats do all sorts
of drills and exercises. Same thing in football, just
need to change a few things. Hah
just call me crazy. Okay, okay but as far as the
team is concerned you ARE an
American Football Coach, a good one, the best, we’re
lucky to have you know what I
mean I won’t say anything like. I’m cool. If they think you are the real
deal they will do anything you
say. Woooo. This is going to be
awesome. Listen, I’ll go grab
you cats a couple of beers and might as well get started on
the game plan like..
IMEADIATELY. Haha YES. It gives me great pleasure to
introduce you. Your new Head
Coach. James Dupont. Oy! This here is my pitch (Coach James to derek) Hey
what’s a pitch? (Derek) Er playing field This Used to be your pitch
asshole. No, no. You don’t understand.
This here is my pitch. No dog. I don’t think you
understand. Now you have ten seconds to get
your fat ass outta here or my dogs are going to use you
as tackle dummies. You feel me? Tossers. You are all tossers.
Yeah, come on Right I think that’s the last we
will hear of them. Assholes. Right guys listen up.
Even on a beautiful day like
today, it’s very important that we warm
up first. So lets get started with twenty
star jumps. Ready, GO! One…. two…. three….
four… Okay, Okay stop, STOP, we need
to work on that. Now as your coach I would never
ask you to do anything that I
cannot do myself. This exercise is called ‘The
Killer”. Watch. Now in a game you’re going to
get knocked down, might even get blind-sided maybe
tripped. This drill gets you used to
getting back up. So when I say ‘hit it’, you hit
it. HIT IT. HIT IT. That my friends is a Killer. Now when I saw ‘break down’ you
break down. When I say ‘hit it’ you hit it.
Ready. Break down. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Get up, I haven’t even started
with you guys yet. I SAID GET
UP! Lets keep movin’, lets keep
movin. Lets go, lets split into four equal
teams. Lets go. I’m alright, I’m fine. I’ve got
to go with the lads. Eddie get
off me. I’m dead. Yep I’m dead. (Music starts) You guys are looking good, I’m
proud of you. Alright, good job guys good job. We’re going to get it together
come on baby. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go. Get up, get up, go, keep moving,
you have to keep moving. Break down watch the ball, watch
the ball. well done boys. He’s going to kill us you know
that don’t you. OK what I want is all you guys
in two long lines about a yard
apart. Okay? Let’s move, let’s move. I said up. I’m not even tired. Up one Down… up… down… up…
down… up… down Railroaders on three. One, two,
three. RAILROADERS. (Music ends) Great Job. Alright guys take a
knee for a second. You guys are
pretty tired huh? Feel pretty bad? Yo listen. You
want to play this game seriously
we got a lot of work to do guys. First thing you got to do is get
in shape. I was kinda tough on
you guys today, but you did good. It’s good
stuff man. Thanks Coach that was
unbelievable, I don’t think any
of us are going to be able to
walk tomorrow, but thanks all the same. Right. Now you know how serious
we are. Yes? I’ll see all you cool guys next
week. Coach James, Coach James, Coach
James… (Music starts) Haha that’s what I’m talkin’
about. Okay guys down to your right. (Music ends) Oy! I thought I told you a hundred
times this is my garden. Yo. Follow me. Everybody in one line. Now in a few seconds when I
shout hut! My dawgs (team barks) are going to bury your punk ass
into the ground. So I suggest you find another
pitch because we gonna use all
these. We ain’t got all day man you got
about ten seconds to make up
your mind. Ten… Nine… eight, seven, six, five, four, three,
two. One one. Ready (Team shout
ready) Ready (team shout ready) Down…. Set….. HUT! Aaaah! Buggers… Buggers. I’m gonna friggin get you for
this. You’re dead. Nope, still alive. It’s
Railroader time baby, Railroader
time. Afternoon love, is he in? No he’s not and I’m not just
saying that. Well can you tell him that
unless he gets fifty quid to me
by midnight, I’m going to have to take some
action. Do you understand? No I bloody don’t understand.
Don’t you dare start threatening
me. I know who you are you don’t
frighten me. Well let me enlighten you. Your
husband borrowed money off me
and now I’m here to collect or laddo
here gets very angry. Well I can tell you now he
hasn’t got a penny, not until Thursday when he gets
paid. Thursday you say. Look I’ll make sure he gets
fifty quid to you by Thursday
evening. That’s if he’s still alive after
I’ve finished with him. He’s a very lucky man. For your
sake I’ll wait till Thursday
then, fifty quid. What did you do that for? So she understands? Of course she understands, she
said fifty quid. Sorry about that love, I’ll get
you another one. BASTARD! Oh hiya love. Sorry I’m a bit
late. You liar. I thought you had
changed. How stupid am I. Ey? What’s the matter? I had a visit from Sharky this
afternoon while you were out
playing with your mates. What? She came here. Is that where you got the money
from for your kit? Yes, it was but.. I was meant to
pay her back. Oh come on Kym let’s just get
through the next few weeks
and… I can’t believe she came here. I’m pregnant. Pregnant? You know how much I’ve wanted a
baby. But not like this, not when we are in this state. Hey, this is supposed to be the
most happiest moment of our
lives. How can I be happy when you just
won’t change? I will change. I hope so Derek for our baby’s
sake. Oh my God I’m going to be a Dad. I know. That’s what frightens
me. Hey up Dawgs the bonus has come
in this week. Well if it isn’t my laddo. Fancy
meeting you here like this on
Pay Day. Wages now. Oh come on Sharky you can’t take
all my wages, my wife is
pregnant, I need to buy stuff. Well it’s Lucky for you I like
your wife, so I’m only taking
what I am owed. Two weeks time another fifty
quid. You understand? And here, make sure your wife
gets this. Well, well, well, helmet cheese.
Come here. You’re dead. I’m really sorry love. It was
Sharky. She jumped me and took
my wages. I told her I would get fifty
quid to her by tonight. You know I’ve a good mind to
call the Police and report that
bitch. No, No that would just make
things worse, my mess, I’ll sort
it. What’s all that about? Don’t ask. Five, six, seven, eight, lets go Railroaders, let’s go
Railroaders, Lets go Railroaders Five, six, seven, eight, C R E W E Railroaders (claps)
Railroaders (claps)
Rail…..roaders! Wooooh! What to you think Coach? Magic that Angie yeah. You’ve
come on leaps and bounds. Do you mean that? Absolutely yeah and there are
more of you. Yeah, I auditioned more. Thanks
Derek Get another helmet and set of
pads with that. Where’s this come from? We got a bonus this week at
work. It’s okay Kym knows. We better keep an eye on him. (Coach James voice) Alright guys
show is over. Stop looking at
them skirts, lets get back to work. If he starts getting shifty give
Eddie a shout or something. OK guys listen up. Today is your
last chance to fight for the
position you want. We are going to play Offense
verses Defense in game situation and go out there like a bunch of
crazed dawgs.(Team barks) Here are the starting line ups,
take a look and get into
positions (Players) Cadillac, come on. Sorry Coach. Hey guys check this out. It’s not real you pillocks, it’s
just a pellet gun. Cover me
though yeah? Ready… Break Down… set… (pellet strikes hand) Oh you don’t want a penalty
boys. Hey hey hey what is wrong with
you guys today. What’s up Coach? What do you mean what’s up? Do I
look like Stevie Wonder? I can
see the gun. It was just a joke Coach.
Christ. It wasn’t funny. I ought to
shoot you in the ass. Get back
in the huddle. We still get the five yards
(laughs) In the huddle (sighs) (Music starts) (Music ends) Quiet. I can’t believe your attitudes
out here today. Do you think this is some sort
of Joke? Do you think I’m here to watch
you guys jerk around? If this is just a big joke to
you guys.. I’m gone. Look guys, this attitude is
really starting to piss me off. You’ve got to start taking this
seriously. I thought we had
something here, I thought we all wanted to play
American Football on a National
scale. From this point on this becomes
serious or not at all. Right everybody in. Sean come
on. Cheerleaders. One..two..three RAILROADERS. Was that the post? Yeah, yeah just a letter from
the UKAFA fixtures of who we are
playing this season. Nothing important then. Right better go. See you later then. Right lads. Thanks for coming at
such short notice but let me
tell you it’s good news. I have here the official
schedule. Our season begins away at
Hereford. But you want to know something
really interesting? I got a phone call from the
Leamington Royals, they want to play a pre-season
game here in Crewe. We’ve got four weeks before our
first game. Yes, this is it Sean, this is
it. Derek. These cats ain’t ready
man. They might think they are
ready, but they are not even close.
Four weeks ain’t enough. What do you know you’re not even
a real coach. What the hell is wrong with you
man? I don’t have to be a coach to
understand these cats ain’t
ready. What’s gotten into yo man? I’ll tell you what’s gotten into
me. In four weeks time, good or
bad, win or lose, do or die, we play our first
game and that’s final. Have I missed something? Little bit of an atmosphere. Okay Mister Stanyer is ready to
see you now. …you’re not making any sense
whatsoever, the Cumberland
Sports ground would be ideal. As I mentioned before the only
place available that matches
your criteria are the Middlewich playing
fields. But we are the Crewe
Railroaders, not the Middlewich
Railroaders. I’m sorry but that’s all I can
offer you at such short notice. But look, the Cumberland Sports
ground is free that weekend, why can’t you just let us it. We
are expecting a big crowd. The Cumberland Athletic Track is
the pride and joy of the county. You can’t seriously be
suggesting that we turn over our
flagship facility for you to
churn up. So you would rather let it stand
empty than let us use it. Is that what you are saying? The offer of Middlewich still
stands. I am trying my best to
accommodate you. No. You are treating this sport
like everybody else. Like we are
some kind of freak show. Well, it’s not the last you have
heard of this I’m writing to my
M.P. She’ll appreciate what we are
doing for Crewe. We are going to be representing
this town up and down the
country and you are not even
helping us. I’ve done all I can. Well we’ll see about that. Come on guys, take a knee deep
breaths. How we feeling? So this is it guys. Next time
you put on your helmets you will
be playing your first game. Listen up everybody. I picked up
the Jerseys, we’ve got some kit. Right lads bring it in. One, two, three, RAILROADERS Any news on the ground? No, I’m going to have to go into
the council and suck up one last
time. Look man, just cancel the game. I can’t. Come on dawg. We don’t have a
place to play, the team ain’t ready and I’m
telling you somebody is goin’ to
get hurt man. No, this game goes ahead. I need
this game to go ahead. This is not about you anymore
man, this is about the team,
what’s best for the team. No, it is about me. This was my
idea, this is my team I stand to
lose everything because of it and I mean everything. So I say
we play Sunday. Oh for God’s sake. What now?
This has got to stop. I’m not in
the mood for this. You wanna fight? Lets fight.
Come on I’m fucking ready, I’m
fucking ready. I want to play. You want to play? Yeah. Sean! We need a new jersey. Kym what’s all this? What’s
going on? I’ve had enough of your lies. What do you mean? This fell out of your jacket
when I was putting it away. When were you going to tell me? Unless we come up with the money
by next Monday then we would
lose the house. Is that still the situation? I’m not stupid Derek, I know
where the money has gone. On that fucking football team. Kym please, we play our first
game next Sunday, the gate receipts will pay off
all our debts. It will all have been worth it. We will not lose the house. Look at me, look at me. We will
not lose the house. Please don’t leave me. Oh I wasn’t leaving, that’s full
of your clothes. This house obviously means
nothing to you. Sort this mess out or I’m
throwing you out. I mean it
Derek. Two hundred quid? You want me to
loan you another two hundred
quid? Well you got some balls I’ll
give you that much. Ain’t he? Got some balls like? Yes, balls! Please Sharky I’m in big
trouble. You are in big trouble my lad.
With me. You owe me… Ooh lets see… two hundred and
fifty quid. Bit too fruity that, let him go. Look. I’ll be able to give you
some of it back on Sunday out of
the gate receipts. Really? Well how does this
sound? We’ll see you Sunday to collect
two hundred and fifty quid. And no you can’t have another
two hundred you cheeky sod. I can’t make Sunday. It’s my
mothers birthday. Your mothers birthday? Do you
know what, I can’t run a
business like this. Your sacked. I’ll bloody well go
myself. Sunday. Two hundred and fifty
quid or else. Ey up toss pot. I er… I hate to ask but don’t
suppose you can you lend me two
hundred quid? Very funny. What do you want? I’m serious Gerry, I need two
hundred quid. Oh mate I haven’t got it. Alright. I’d just thought I’d
ask. Well yeah of course I’ve got it,
I’m just not giving it to you. So that’s the situation,
including this weeks wages I
need one hundred and sixty quid or else they will kick us out of
the house. Why am I not surprised? Answer me this. Did you spend
your money on the football team? I told you, I bloody well told
you. Alright look. I get the picture,
I’m useless, I’m pathetic, I’ve
heard it all before. All I want to know is will you
lend me one hundred and sixty
quid? What? He’ll only go and do it
all again won’t he? I knew it was a waste of time
coming here, don’t know why I
bothered. Hey! That’s right, it’s all our
fault isn’t it? There is always somebody else to
blame but yourself. Derek wait. Mum thank you. I’ll give it you
back on Monday after we have
played our game yeah? You just make sure you use it to
pay off the arrears and don’t
tell your Dad. Oh hello. Can I speak to the
head of sports and recreation
please. Hello…. yes speaking…..
yes…. oh yeah…. really?
….right okay …. Well yeah that’s amazing…
Thank you…. Half and hour? Yes I can be there in half an
hour… Alright thank you very
much, see you. YES..YES What’s up with you? We’ve got the Cumberland Sports
ground to play our games at. Oh love things are looking up
for us. Did you call in sick for
me? Yes. Great. I’ll pay this in then. Well it seams that the plight of
your team had quite an impact on
a certain Member of Parliament. Therefore after much
deliberation, we, the council
have decided that the Cumberland Athletic track
will be made available to you
this Sunday. Of course there will be a
nominal hire charge, but we have reduced the fee to
one hundred and forty pounds. A hundred and forty pounds? Yes. Yes it would normally be
two hundred pounds. Oh and we need that now so we
can get everything moving. Shit. I’ll just get you a receipt
then. Are you okay? There we are. No no sorry can’t do it, can’t
do it, I need that money. Look can we please pay you out
of the gate receipts? I’m sorry you can’t charge the
public for admission into the
game. Our public liability insurance
doesn’t cover American Football. We can’t charge admission? No. We need to charge admission. You
don’t understand. Well sorry… you can’t. I’ll give you seven days. Seven
days to pay after the game. That’s the best I can do. Thank you. So the money you’ve been giving
me for the pads and helmets
should have been paying off your
bills off? I thought we’d get it all back
from the gate receipts. I’ve
been an idiot mate. So we definitely can’t charge
admission? Nope. And now I owe my mum
hundred and sixty quid, Sharky
two hundred and fifty. I’ve not made any payments on
the bloody phone for months and they are about to cut the
electricity off. God what a
mess. Does Kym know all this? But you paid your rent arrears
off. Yes. At least that’s safe for
the time being. I’ll tell Kym after the game on
Sunday about everything else. (Crowd noise) Why was no one taking money at
the gate? Don’t worry love I’m sure it’s
all been taken care of. He’s forgot to organise it ain’t
he? Wouldn’t surprise me, you
know what he’s like. Hey hey hey, calm down, calm
down. Listen up..Hey listen up. I was just talking to the refs
and we got problems. Come on Jenny out (Rude comments and wolf
whistles) Alright chill chill chill
everybody chill out. Check it
out everbody must have a mouth
piece. You will not be allowed to play
unless you have one. If you
don’t have one raise your hand. You guys are going to have to
share with each other man. Hey hey hey. Don’t quit on me
now guys. It’s that or you don’t
play, what do you want to do? Play. Well find some dawg to share
your mouth guard with Hey Danny, DANNY. Want to share
with me like. (Cheerleaders chanting routine) Hey you! Derek why is no one collecting
money. Sorry luv I’ll tell you later. James I need to apologize. You
are a great coach and we
couldn’t have done it without
you. No worries. It’s Been a blast
man. Just hope nobody gets hurt. I still don’t think these dudes
are ready. You’re probably right. Come on we’ve got a game to
play. Alright baby it’s game time,
it’s game time. Railroaders on three. one, two,
three. RAILROADERS (Players and crowd Clapping) (Railroaders cheer) Break! (Whistle) Down… set… hut (Music starts) (Music ends) We’re getting murdered Coach. Hey hey hey. Lift your heads up.
You have nothing to be down
about. Alright? Lets go back out there and have
some fun. Today is all about
learning the game. Come on man what happened to my
crazed dawgs. (half hearted dog woofs) Alright listen up. They are
keying on Oaksey. They are over
pursuing. Let’s try the reverse we worked
on. The reverse? The reverse. It’s going to be
wide open, nobody is over there. Just tuck the ball away and
you’ve got it. Alright? Okay. Enthusiasm guys. Enthusiasm come
on bring it in. Railroaders on three. one, two,
three. RAILROADERS (Music starts) (Loud hit – Music ends) Come in love. Just about
finished. I’ll be back in a minute with
those tablets. Sean’s here. He wanted you to
know that you lost 50-13. Love that’s not important. Kym need to talk, I need to tell
you something. I know you don’t think so but I
love you and I’m so sorry but… Ah there you go. These will ease the pain a bit
(laughs). Oh dear the sooner we get you
get home the better. That’s it he’s ready to go now. I really need to tell you… Not now love. There’s something
you need to see first. Come on. Sean told me what an asshole
you’ve been. Funding the team,
neglecting your family. That’s not cool man. Not cool at
all. So we took up a collection after
the game. These dawgs really appreciate
you putting everything on the
line for them. There’s enough there to cover
most of your debt and pay for
the ground fees Don’t do it again. You hear me? I’ll look after that. Wow! I don’t know what to say
(laughs) Well I know we lost. I’ve broke
my bloody arm. But today has
turned out pretty special for
me. You guys are family and I thank
you from the bottom of my heart. Ahead of us is the first season
of American Football on these
shores. And I can’t wait to step out
there with you. But I need to spend some time
with someone I’ve been
neglecting far too long. Hey don’t think you are off the
hook that easily Simmons. We
have a lot to talk about. Alright you crazy dawgs, bring
it in. One….two….three…

4 thoughts on “The Gridiron (Full Movie) Comedy Drama Sport. Football vs. Soccer”

  1. I would have never thought that American football would catch on "across the pond" or that rugby (or were they soccer?) players would think that American footballers were poufters (spelling?)

  2. Man I played for 7yrs with 1yr being semi-pro rugby! I got a compound fracture just below the knee and the knee dislocated & had it blown out all at the same time as a Junior in high school that finished my career in football! Rehabbed the knee & played most of a season of semi-pro rugby on it till blowing it out again! So I know that practicing once a week won't do squat to get you in shape!
    Man we did 2 a days for the first month then 5 a week till season started to get in shape! In high school I'd work my grandpa's dairy & hay farm for the summer halling hay the last few weeks everyday till school started! Now that was a workout but it'd get me in pristine shape for the season! I played 1st string both ways Running Back then turn around at Outside Linebacker (smallest but 1 of toughest in league) then all the special teams most seasons! We called that Iron Man Ball, I'd only sit out a few plays here & there when needing a breather!
    Now that's what tough is!

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