Ticket to Ride: Wil Wheaton, Colin Ferguson, Anne Wheaton, and Amy Dallen. TableTop ep. 4


WIL WHEATON: Some games are so
complicated they can take
hours to learn, even
for an experienced
hardcore gamer like me.
The rule books are nothing but
endless pages of Byzantine
charts and tables.
But this game is so elegant and
so simple you can teach it
faster than it takes
you to set it up.
You could even convince your
wife to play it with you.
No seriously.
My wife is here today
to play this game.
Today on TableTop, Colin
Ferguson, Amy Dallen, and my
wife, Anne Wheaton, are all
here, and we are going to take
a Ticket to Ride.

Ticket to Ride is the 2004
German game of the year.
That’s sort of like winning
the Academy
Award for board games.
It’s kind of a big deal.
What makes this game a winner is
its beauty and its elegant
and simple game play.
We are railroad barons
attempting to connect cities
together across North America
in the age of steam.
At the end of the game, the
player with the most points
will be declared the winner.
What a novel concept.
To get those points, we can
perform one of three simple
actions on every turn.
We can draw cards face
up from the board or
from the deck of mystery.
We can cash in cards of the
same color to play a train
down and claim a route.
If the player is feeling
particularly saucy, he can
draw a ticket.
If you complete the route
outlined on the ticket before
the end of the game, you
receive bonus points.
However, it’s a little risky,
because if you do not complete
that route, those bonus points
count against you
in the final scoring.
Also, someone comes to your
house and punches you in the
face before you go to bed.
Ticket to Ride is a modern-day
classic.
You can learn it in minutes, but
you will be playing it for
the rest of your life.
All aboard!
It is time to play
Ticket to Ride.

ANNE WHEATON: My name
is Anne Wheaton.
I am a hairdresser, and I
am married to a super
nerdy guy named Wil.
AMY DALLEN: My name
is Amy Dallen.
I sell comic books.
COLIN FERGUSON: My name is
Colin Ferguson I guess if
someone knew me they’d
know me from–
I’m the sheriff on
a show called
Eureka on the Syfy Channel.
WIL WHEATON: Colin,
it is your turn.
Go ahead and look at your
starting tickets.
You can keep all of them if you
like, or you can discard
one of them.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WIL WHEATON: Colin, you will
have the first move.
COLIN FERGUSON: Nightmare.
I’m never going to be
able to get these.
I will discard this
to start with.
WIL WHEATON: OK, cool.
I’m going to put it over
here with my discard.
COLIN FERGUSON: And
my first move–
WIL WHEATON: You want to
put your cards there?
So you’ve got these cards
to choose from.
You can also draw right
from the deck.
Or, if you have some kind of
magic starting hand, you could
even play trains.
COLIN FERGUSON: Snap.
I could play trains.
WIL WHEATON: What?
COLIN FERGUSON: No, I can’t.
That was a lie.
This is probably the first time
I’ve played this game
officially.
Good thing about the game,
really easy to learn, really
easy to pick up, and really
easy to get into.
I’m going to take the double
yellows there.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
Here’s one yellow.
Roll off a new one.
Which yellow would you like?
COLIN FERGUSON: The older one.
WIL WHEATON: The old yellow?
COLIN FERGUSON: Thank you.
WIL WHEATON: There you go.
You want the old yeller?
COLIN FERGUSON: I’ll kill it.
WIL WHEATON: You have
to kill that card.
COLIN FERGUSON: Shoot it.
WIL WHEATON: That’s right.
It’ll be your problem.
COLIN FERGUSON: And then cry.
WIL WHEATON: Yes.
And ruin a generation
of children.
All right.
Good turn for you, Colin.
COLIN FERGUSON: Good times.
WIL WHEATON: Anne?
ANNE WHEATON: OK.
It’s my second card.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
Excellent.
ANNE WHEATON: I am done
with my turn.
COLIN FERGUSON: OK.
So I’ve got that.
Aw.
What an idiot.
The route that I got in the
beginning was Portland to
Nashville, which is east to
west, and Winnipeg to Houston.
So I got this.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
I’m going to take the wild card,
which means that’s the
only card I can draw.
If you draw a face-up wild card,
that’s the only card you
can take during your turn.
And it’s the end of my turn.
Amy, please play.
AMY DALLEN: I am going to take
the white one, please.
WIL WHEATON: There you go.
AMY DALLEN: And I would
like the green one.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
One green card for you.
There you go.
Colin, your turn.
COLIN FERGUSON: I’m going
to play some trains.
WIL WHEATON: Playing trains.
COLIN FERGUSON: I’m throwing
three yellows down in between
Salt Lake City and
whatever that is.
Denver.
WIL WHEATON: Dever, yep.
So three trains is worth
four points.
So go ahead and grab your little
blue circle-y guy there
and put him on number four.
AMY DALLEN: Nice.
WIL WHEATON: No.
On number four.
No, number four.
What kind of numbers did they
teach you in Canada?
ANNE WHEATON: I feel like
a mess because Amy’s so
organized with the little–
WIL WHEATON: Here.
ANNE WHEATON: –choo-choos.
WIL WHEATON: Now you’re less
of a mess than me.
ANNE WHEATON: Yes.
OK, good.
WIL WHEATON: I’m a good
husband, everybody.
ANNE WHEATON: Yes.
WIL WHEATON: A good husband.
ANNE WHEATON: Thank you.
WIL WHEATON: What you doing?
ANNE WHEATON: OK.
It’s my turn.
WIL WHEATON: Yep.
ANNE WHEATON: I have played
Ticket to Ride a few times.
WIL WHEATON: It’s one of the
very first games, along with
Settlers of Catan, that I
started playing with Anne and
our two kids.
ANNE WHEATON: OK,
let’s do this.
I’m going to take this card.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
ANNE WHEATON: And then you’re
going to put more down for me
to choose from.
WIL WHEATON: Yep.
ANNE WHEATON (TUNE OF “CAMPTOWN
RACES”): This is how
we play the game, doo,
doo, doo, doo, doo.
OK.
I’m done.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
It’s my turn.
And I think I’m going to
take another wild card.
And then that’s going to
go up there like that.
And it will now be Amy’s turn.
AMY DALLEN: I get all of
my destination cards.
So I have to make it to
those end points.
I need to make it to
all those cities.
WIL WHEATON: You’re
so disappointed.
COLIN FERGUSON: I’m never going
to make this route.
WIL WHEATON: I can feel
disappointment just
coming off of you.
It’s like if there were
disappointment lines drawn
around you the way someone
would normally draw stink
lines around someone.
COLIN FERGUSON: Yeah, but
they’re not stink lines.
WIL WHEATON: No.
They’re disappointment lines.
COLIN FERGUSON: Disappointment
lines.
Wow.
It’s an uphill battle.
WIL WHEATON: Well, listen.
We’ve got a lot of cards–
COLIN FERGUSON: True.
WIL WHEATON: –and
a lot of trains.
COLIN FERGUSON: True.
AMY DALLEN: Amy’s given
us a lot of time.
AMY DALLEN: Yep.
COLIN FERGUSON: That she has.
AMY DALLEN: So much time.
COLIN FERGUSON: Yeah.
AMY DALLEN: Green, please.
ANNE WHEATON: So much time.
WIL WHEATON: One green
card for you.
AMY DALLEN: And blind, please.
WIL WHEATON: And one mystery
card from the deck of mystery.
Colin, you are up, sir.
COLIN FERGUSON: I’ll
take the orange.
WIL WHEATON: One orange card.
COLIN FERGUSON: And what did
that get replaced with?
WIL WHEATON: Well,
let’s find out.
A wild card but you
sadly cannot draw.
COLIN FERGUSON: Why?
WIL WHEATON: Because you can’t
draw a wild card–
COLIN FERGUSON: This
game sucks.
Can I get the–
WIL WHEATON: Mystery card?
Or do you want a–?
COLIN FERGUSON: I’ll
take the black one.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
There you go.
That’s a good one.
COLIN FERGUSON: Thank you.
WIL WHEATON: Yes,
you’re welcome.
COLIN FERGUSON: Damn.
WIL WHEATON: It was
a green card.
Anne, you’re up.
ANNE WHEATON: I never think
of the strategy part.
It’s usually that I just like
playing with friends and
making fun little tracks.
And then I remember that I’m
actually supposed to be
playing for winning.
I am going to–
WIL WHEATON: That’s a
vicious move there
ANNE WHEATON: –play
a train down.
WIL WHEATON: Holy crap!
Seriously?
COLIN FERGUSON: Holy smokes.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
COLIN FERGUSON: It’s
called shuffling.
At the beginning of the game?
Really?
ANNE WHEATON: It’s
called skills.
COLIN FERGUSON: Wow.
WIL WHEATON: Three.
ANNE WHEATON: Mad skills.
WIL WHEATON: That’s six.
You’re going to get 15 points
for that as you go from
Winnipeg to Sault St. Marie.
ANNE WHEATON: OK.
So now I want to go–
WIL WHEATON: So Colin, if
you would please move
yellow up to 15.
COLIN FERGUSON: That
seems wrong.
WIL WHEATON: 15, the maximum
number of points you can get
for playing a train.
COLIN FERGUSON: Look at that.
WIL WHEATON: It’s
very exciting.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WIL WHEATON: I am also going
to play a train.
I’m going from New York to
Washington, just like that.
Look at me, everyone, New
York to Washington.
I’m kind of like Joe
Biden on the train.
La, la, la.
Give me two points, please.
Two points for black.
Thank you very much.
COLIN FERGUSON: Stellar.
WIL WHEATON: Amy, your turn.
Play a train.
AMY DALLEN: I’m going to
take two blind, please.
WIL WHEATON: Two blind
cards for you.
There you are.
OK.
Colin, you’re up.
COLIN FERGUSON: All right.
I’m playing.
I’m going from–
WIL WHEATON: Look at that.
COLIN FERGUSON: Four orange .
Where do you think I’m going?
WIL WHEATON: I’m thinking
you’re going
Denver to Kansas City.
COLIN FERGUSON: That
is correct.
That’s exactly what I’m doing.
WIL WHEATON: Look at
what you’re doing.
Four trains is worth
seven, I think.
Yeah, seven points.
So go ahead and give
yourself seven.
COLIN FERGUSON: I would say
probably Wil is the best.
He knows the game the best.
I put one route down, and
he goes, oh, I know
where you’re going.
WIL WHEATON: Colin?
COLIN FERGUSON: I’ve
all but given up.
WIL WHEATON: What?
No!
COLIN FERGUSON: I’m never
going to make it.
I’m never going to make it.
WIL WHEATON: Come on.
You did a scene on Eureka
where you got covered
in cold weird goo.
COLIN FERGUSON: True.
True.
All right.
I’m going to–
WIL WHEATON: If you can do that,
you can do anything.
I believe in you.
COLIN FERGUSON: Thanks, guys.
With my newfound confidence,
I’m going to
claim a train route.
I’m going to go from–
Do I want to take the–?
No, I don’t.
I got nothing.
I’m going to take a blind
card and just
pray for some humanity.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
And?
COLIN FERGUSON: It’s
more of the same.
I’ll take another one.
WIL WHEATON: OK
COLIN FERGUSON: Yeah,
that there.
I’ll go ahead and put
that right there.
That’s handy.
WIL WHEATON: As an “I’ve played
this game a lot” guy, I
can tell you that if you’re
getting cards that aren’t
helping out your exact plan, you
could still kind of start
building things that you could
patch together to make the
longest route.
Because the person with
the longest route
gets 10 bonus points.
I have played so many games
where that is the deciding
factor in who wins the game.
Also you can play the “look at
what a giant dick I am” game
and figure out where people
are going and block them.
WIL WHEATON: Yay.
AMY DALLEN: Or you could
not do that.
COLIN FERGUSON: Sounds like
a role made in heaven.
WIL WHEATON: Go ahead.
COLIN FERGUSON: But how can
I block Atlanta to Raleigh
really quickly?
WIL WHEATON: Probably not
very effectively.
ANNE WHEATON: I’m going to
choo-choo connector.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, you’re
connecting Winnipeg to Helena.
ANNE WHEATON: I choo-choo-choose
to go from
Winnipeg to Helena.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
So that is seven points
for yellow.
ANNE WHEATON: Wonderous.
WIL WHEATON: Look at
how yellow has
exploded into the lead.
COLIN FERGUSON: Woah.
WIL WHEATON: What in the
world is going on here?
ANNE WHEATON: So I just counted
out individually.
Wil and I play Sorry all the
time, and he’s played it so
much that when a card comes up
he just is like go over here.
WIL WHEATON: She has to count
it out every single time.
ANNE WHEATON: I have
to count it out.
I have to enjoy,
savor my card.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
And I’m like you are the least
efficient Sorry player in the
history of this game.
ANNE WHEATON: Efficient.
AMY DALLEN: There’s nothing
inefficient about gloating.
ANNE WHEATON: Yes.
WIL WHEATON: I’m going
to give you that one.
COLIN FERGUSON: That’s always
dicey when you’re
playing with a couple.
WIL WHEATON: Playing with her
here was just like playing
with her at home.
She’s giving me a hard time
about everything.
She’s having a lot of fun.
AMY DALLEN: I’m taking
this one, please.
And then I’m taking this one.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
COLIN FERGUSON: Damn.
Give me the two blues.
WIL WHEATON: One
blue for Colin.
I saw how excited you got
when that card came out.
I was like, wow.
COLIN FERGUSON: I need about
six more and I’m good.
ANNE WHEATON: Hmm, where
would that be, then?
COLIN FERGUSON: I wonder
where I’m going.
ANNE WHEATON: Portland
to Salt Lake City.
WIL WHEATON: Wow.
That’s a tough one.
Oh, man.
Yeah, I see–
Oh, I think I know what
route you have.
COLIN FERGUSON: It’s awful.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, Colin.
COLIN FERGUSON: I’m never
going to get there.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, boy.
No, listen.
There’s a lot of time
in this game.
COLIN FERGUSON: [INAUDIBLE].
WIL WHEATON: Look, there’s
a lot of trains left.
OK.
Anne Wheaton.
ANNE WHEATON: Oh,
it’s my turn.
Are you trying to look
at my cards?
WIL WHEATON: No.
I was trying to come up and
I was thinking that
I might kiss you.
COLIN FERGUSON: Aw.
ANNE WHEATON: Oh.
COLIN FERGUSON: You’re
so sweet.
ANNE WHEATON: You should’ve.
WIL WHEATON: Maybe I’ll come
over and kiss you.
ANNE WHEATON: Yeah.
What?
COLIN FERGUSON: What happens in
the ’20s stays in the ’20s.
I believe the winner of the
game is the person who can
both do their routes and connect
them to make the
longest run.
I think I have a chance to make
my routes, but I don’t
think I’m going to be able to
connect them and make the
longest run.

WIL WHEATON: Amy,
it’s your turn.
AMY DALLEN: I’d like the–
ANNE WHEATON: Review.
AMY DALLEN: –blind, please.
WIL WHEATON: One blind
card coming your way.
AMY DALLEN: And a yellow.
WIL WHEATON: And a yellow
card coming your way.
There you are.
Anne, you’re up.
And by Anne, I mean Colin.
COLIN FERGUSON: Thank you.
I am going to claim a route.
WIL WHEATON: Really?
AMY DALLEN: What?
WIL WHEATON: How excited
are you right now?
COLIN FERGUSON: I think
I’m pretty excited.
I’m going through Salt Lake
City to Portland.
One, two, three, four,
five, six.
One, two, three, four,
five, six.
WIL WHEATON: Dude.
That is worth 15 points.
Congratulations, Colin.
COLIN FERGUSON: Thank
you very much.
Thank you very much.
I didn’t figure I could be
as amazing as I was.
And I was even more amazing.
WIL WHEATON: He’s doing a really
good job with the cards
he’s being dealt.
AMY DALLEN: When I saw all the
blue trains come down, it was
kind of easy to be happy for
him, because he’s far away
from cities that I’m
trying to get.
So that was great, because I’m
like, please, spend your
effort over there.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WIL WHEATON: So Amy, it’s
your turn to play now.
AMY DALLEN: I am going to
make a route, please.
COLIN FERGUSON: No.
WIL WHEATON: Claim, claim,
claim the route.
Where are you claiming
a route, Amy?
AMY DALLEN: From Duluth
to Winnipeg, please.
WIL WHEATON: Duluth–
COLIN FERGUSON: No!
Not Duluth to Winnipeg.
You don’t want that route.
That’s no good.
There’s danger on that route.
AMY DALLEN: There’s hazards?
COLIN FERGUSON: Hazards.
WIL WHEATON: Are there bears?
COLIN FERGUSON: Yep.
And polar bears.
ANNE WHEATON: Polar bears?
AMY DALLEN: Is there any chance
the bears will fight
the polar bears?
COLIN FERGUSON: I should
have gone last time.
I could have gone last time.
I should have gone last time.
WIL WHEATON: Ah, shoulda,
shoulda, shoulda.
All right.
Let’s give Amy–
you played four right?–
so that’s seven points.
AMY DALLEN: Yay.
WIL WHEATON: So 25
plus 7 is 32.
There you go.
ANNE WHEATON: I’m
sort of winning.
I’m second to winning.
COLIN FERGUSON: I don’t know how
I’m doing, because I have
such a laundry list
of colors to get.
AMY DALLEN: So far, I haven’t
had anyone take a route that I
couldn’t easily get around.
COLIN FERGUSON: I am going
from Duluth to Winnipeg.
WIL WHEATON: No, you can’t.
You can’t, Colin.
Sorry.
Amy’s already there.
Then I’m going from Calgary to
Seattle, and I’m starting a
hockey team.
WIL WHEATON: What’s your hockey
team going to be called?
COLIN FERGUSON: The
Seattle Calgaries.
WIL WHEATON: What
a great name.
COLIN FERGUSON: Yeah.
WIL WHEATON: That’s awesome.
COLIN FERGUSON: I’ve
been thinking.
I’ve been tossing it
around for a while.
WIL WHEATON: I remember that
rivalry game that you played
against the Vancouver
Portlands.
COLIN FERGUSON: Oh, yeah.
That was tough.
WIL WHEATON: Man, those
guys are such jerks.
ANNE WHEATON: Good times.
WIL WHEATON: That was
a dirty, dirty game.
COLIN FERGUSON: Yeah.
Well, we taught them a lesson.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
ANNE WHEATON: I’m going
to build a rival team.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, OK.
ANNE WHEATON: A rival team.
WIL WHEATON: What’s your
rival team called?
ANNE WHEATON: It’s
the Vancoudles.
WIL WHEATON: Vancoudles?
OK.
Yeah.
Go Coudles!
OK.
Montreal to Boston.
Dah, dah, dah.
ANNE WHEATON: Stop it.
Joe Biden, get off the train.
WIL WHEATON: Dah,
dah, dah, dah.
COLIN FERGUSON: Oh,
that’s bad.
WIL WHEATON: What are you
talking about, bad?
If by bad you mean awesome.
AMY DALLEN: Which you
could, depending on
the decade, I suppose.
WIL WHEATON: I get two points.
Two, two.
ANNE WHEATON: Wil probably has
a good chance of winning
because he plays this
all the time.
This is Colin’s first time
playing Ticket to Ride, but he
looks like he’s covering
a lot of territory, so
he may end up winning.
Arg.
WIL WHEATON: Colin has like
a million points.
AMY DALLEN: He does have
like a million points.
COLIN FERGUSON: I don’t have
my routes, though.
There is a tiny window that I
might be able to get this
route and this route
connected.
I’m just not getting
the cards.
Wil shuffled them.
I’m not saying he’s a cheater.
I’m not saying that it’s
rigged, per se.
But he and his wife are
playing, and I’m
not getting any cards.
So–
WIL WHEATON: You’re up, Colin.
COLIN FERGUSON: I’m going
to take a card.
WIL WHEATON: Really?
Because if you played
Duluth-Omaha and I played
Duluth-Omaha, we could
block Amy–
AMY DALLEN: And then
I could cry.
WIL WHEATON: –from a thing
she’s trying to do.
COLIN FERGUSON: I can’t.
I can’t.
I don’t have the skills.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
COLIN FERGUSON: I’ll
take a random.
WIL WHEATON: One random card.
COLIN FERGUSON: Be white.
Nope.
Now I’m going to–
WIL WHEATON: Another
random card?
COLIN FERGUSON: Yeah.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
COLIN FERGUSON: This is
the worst game ever.
WIL WHEATON: OK, ready?
COLIN FERGUSON: Yeah.
Woo-hoo.
Four different colors.
You know what that means?
Success.
WIL WHEATON: You know,
in hi/low poker
we call that a bedoogie.
COLIN FERGUSON: Really?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
ANNE WHEATON: I’m going to do a
tiny little piece of train.
Right there.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
From Seattle down to Portland.
ANNE WHEATON: Yes.
[INAUDIBLE].
WIL WHEATON: All right.
I will claim–
ANNE WHEATON: The train.
WIL WHEATON: [INAUDIBLE]
the train.
Speaking of taking the train,
watch me claim a route from
Duluth to Omaha.
Babow, pam-pash, shapoogh.
COLIN FERGUSON: Look at
this black snake.
I’m intimidated by it.
What?
I think Wil probably is in the
best position, because he has
the whole eastern seaboard.
And no one else is over there,
so he can just keep expanding.
WIL WHEATON: As the game is
sitting right now, I probably
need to play down maybe eight
or nine trains total over a
few segments, and I think
I have locked
up the longest route.
All right.
Colin, it’s your turn.
COLIN FERGUSON: Give me
a random card, Wil.
WIL WHEATON: One random
card, coming your way.
COLIN FERGUSON: Is
it what I need?
No.
WIL WHEATON: And nope.
What about this one?
COLIN FERGUSON: This one.
Go, daddy.
WIL WHEATON: Is that
the card you need?
COLIN FERGUSON: Nope.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
COLIN FERGUSON: Keep the
good times coming.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
Anne, it’s your turn.
Maybe you could draw a
card you don’t need.
ANNE WHEATON: I will do
a mystery blind–
WIL WHEATON: Mystery card.
Your mystery date is–
ANNE WHEATON: Duh, duh, duh.
WIL WHEATON: A dud.
ANNE WHEATON: OK.
So I would like a second
mystery card.
WIL WHEATON: Mystery card.
ANNE WHEATON: Duh,
duh duh, duh.
OK.
WIL WHEATON: And now it
is Wil Wheaton’s turn.
Wil Wheaton, I love that guy.
He was so great on that
show I watch.
OK, so–
ANNE WHEATON: What is
going on right now?
COLIN FERGUSON: We’re not
good enough company.
He’s talking to himself.
WIL WHEATON: I’m just
going to draw–
COLIN FERGUSON: I’ll
show you chemistry.
WIL WHEATON: I’m going to draw
two cards, and it’s your turn.
ANNE WHEATON: I have
really good
conversations with myself.
AMY DALLEN: I’m going to
make another round.
COLIN FERGUSON: The
best straight man
I’ve ever worked with.
AMY DALLEN: Absolutely.
From St. Louis to
Chicago, please.
WIL WHEATON: Look, you’ve
got an octopus.
What are you doing?
COLIN FERGUSON: Forget
the longest train.
I’m just going to throw [BEEP]
everywhere.
AMY DALLEN: All the routes.
WIL WHEATON: That’s two
more points for you.
Claim all the routes.
ANNE WHEATON: Don’t claim
all the routes.
Is that like clean
all the things?
WIL WHEATON: That is exactly
like clean all the things.
AMY DALLEN: Yes!
ANNE WHEATON: Yes.
WIL WHEATON: Meme identified
correctly.
Win points!
COLIN FERGUSON: Is
it mine again?
WIL WHEATON: Yes,
it’s your play.
COLIN FERGUSON: Take
two cards.
WIL WHEATON: Two
mystery cards?
COLIN FERGUSON: Yeah.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
Is that your card?
COLIN FERGUSON: Nope.
WIL WHEATON: Is that
your card?
COLIN FERGUSON: No, it is not.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
ANNE WHEATON: You
don’t get more.
You only get those two.
Don’t sit there looking like–
COLIN FERGUSON: And
none of these are
the same color either.
Are you kidding?
ANNE WHEATON: Yay.
WIL WHEATON: Do they match
with those cards?
COLIN FERGUSON: Nope.
ANNE WHEATON: He even
has [INAUDIBLE].
COLIN FERGUSON: I’ve got six
cards and one pair, and it’s
not the right one.
WIL WHEATON: Wow.
ANNE WHEATON: Oh.
WIL WHEATON: That’s
sad times for you.
COLIN FERGUSON: Yeah.
Sadder times.
I’m just trying to
get to Winnipeg.
WIL WHEATON: Really?
Winnipeg is far away.
You know what?
If you wanted to add some trains
to your life just to
make you route a little longer,
you could go from
Houston to New Orleans.
ANNE WHEATON: Hmm.
WIL WHEATON: Or House-ton
to N’awlins.
ANNE WHEATON: House-ton.
COLIN FERGUSON: I will.
I will use my one–
WIL WHEATON: But you can’t go
now because you drew cards
[INAUDIBLE].
COLIN FERGUSON: You know what?
That’s just push, pull,
push, pull.
I’ve dated you before.
That never turns out well.
WIL WHEATON: What do
you want, Anne?
ANNE WHEATON: I would like
a mystery box card.
WIL WHEATON: Mystery box.
Did you get Colin’s card?
ANNE WHEATON: I think I did.
I would like another one of
Colin’s cards, please.
WIL WHEATON: Mystery box.
COLIN FERGUSON: Anne’s the one
who goes, oh, I have 45 wild
cards, dah.
I’m going to go from,
oh, anywhere I want
to anywhere I want.
WIL WHEATON: I am
going to take–
AMY DALLEN: Anne just invented
the bullet train.
ANNE WHEATON: Yay.
WIL WHEATON: –one of Colin’s
cards and also
one of Colin’s cards.
COLIN FERGUSON: You jest,
but it’s true.
WIL WHEATON: I have to say,
whoever shuffled these cards
did a painfully good job
of mixing them up.
COLIN FERGUSON: Right?
What I heard from what as said
was stick to the outside, go
for the long runs, and try
to connect it to the
mission that you had.
AMY DALLEN: Playing through the
middle is awesome, because
you have a lot more double
routes you can choose, and
also because it’s much easier
to go places without
telegraphing where you’re
trying to get.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WIL WHEATON: OK.
Amy, you’re up.
AMY DALLEN: I’ll take the
middle orange, please.
WIL WHEATON: One
middle orange.
OK.
COLIN FERGUSON: Sexy.
AMY DALLEN: And the
one on the end.
WIL WHEATON: And the
one on the end.
COLIN FERGUSON: Ooh, nice.
Oh, I think I know where
someone’s going.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, god, I know
what you’re doing.
COLIN FERGUSON: Oh, it’s mine.
WIL WHEATON: It’s your
turn, Colin.
COLIN FERGUSON: And guess what
route I’m about to claim?
WIL WHEATON: Oh, come on.
Is it going to happen?
ANNE WHEATON: No!
COLIN FERGUSON: I got
one, two, three,
four, wild, and wild.
WIL WHEATON: Yes!
COLIN FERGUSON: I’m going
to Winnipeg, everybody.
Yeah!
WIL WHEATON: Guess
what you get.
15 points, Colin.
When calling connected Calgary
to Winnipeg, it was all over.
COLIN FERGUSON: I
knew that was–
I needed that desperately.
AMY DALLEN: I totally rooted
when he got long routes
because I didn’t care because
he wasn’t in my way.
And now I feel like a sucker.
WIL WHEATON: I think that
you the longest
route away from me.
Sorry.
COLIN FERGUSON: You got
the longest route.
You go from Florida to
Omaha via Montreal.
WIL WHEATON: It’s pretty
long, but–
Listen, my route’s pretty
long, but it’s
not as long as yours.
COLIN FERGUSON: Well,
you know.
ANNE WHEATON: Hey-o.
COLIN FERGUSON: Who cares,
really, whether there’s an
embarrassment of riches?
WIL WHEATON: I will draw.
AMY DALLEN: That’s an oddly
generous way to end a
contest like that.
I’ve never seen that.
WIL WHEATON: Amy you’re up.
AMY DALLEN: Let’s agree
to enjoy our success.

ANNE WHEATON: Oh my god, what
is happening right now?
WIL WHEATON: Before anybody
really knows what’s happening,
Colin has exploded his
train routes all
over the entire board.
His longest train is so
long that it actually
loops around on itself.
COLIN FERGUSON: I’m stunned
to be around myself.
But really any time I get to
watch myself strategize, it’s
looking in the eyes
of a genius.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WIL WHEATON: I do not have a
whole lot of trains left, so
we are getting close to what
will be the end game phase–
ANNE WHEATON: Is it my turn?
WIL WHEATON: –of this game.
Yes, baby, it’s your turn.
COLIN FERGUSON: And the game
is over when we have–?
WIL WHEATON: When one player has
zero, one, or two trains,
that creates the final round.
And so that player goes around
one more time and
back to that player.
ANNE WHEATON: Oh, my god.
Something about continuing
to play.
So five red cards.
I’m going to Helena
to da-Omaha.
AMY DALLEN: Da-Omaha?
ANNE WHEATON: Da-Oh.
COLIN FERGUSON: Oh, you’re
using the hub technique.
ANNE WHEATON: Da-Omaha.
WIL WHEATON: You have an
incredible hub right there.
So from 5 gives you 10.
Anne, you get 10.
You’re at 54 right now.
COLIN FERGUSON: Snap.
ANNE WHEATON: Excuse me.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine.
AMY DALLEN: 10!
ANNE WHEATON: 10.
WIL WHEATON: They put numbers
right on there so you don’t
have to do that.
ANNE WHEATON: Stop taking
that away from me.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
I’m not.
You can have it.
ANNE WHEATON: Fine.
WIL WHEATON: Your face is taking
that away from me.
ANNE WHEATON: Yes.
WIL WHEATON: All right–
COLIN FERGUSON: Nice.
WIL WHEATON: I will
take this card.
ANNE WHEATON: Do you see what
I have to live with?
COLIN FERGUSON: It’s amazing.
You’re a strong woman.
ANNE WHEATON: Thank you.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
Go ahead.
It’s your turn, Amy.
AMY DALLEN: I am going
to Boston now.
ANNE WHEATON: Baked something
about baked beans.
COLIN FERGUSON: [INAUDIBLE]
two for that?
AMY DALLEN: I probably do.
COLIN FERGUSON: Ah,
look at this.
Three.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah?
COLIN FERGUSON: That draws
me down two trains.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, boy.
COLIN FERGUSON: And
we’re in our final
round, and I’m going–
ANNE WHEATON: No.
COLIN FERGUSON: Nooo.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
There you go.
ANNE WHEATON: Stop it.
WIL WHEATON: The final
round has begun.
ANNE WHEATON: Take his cards.
OK.
So then I’m going to do that
also in a less exciting
fashion by going from San
Francisco to da-Los Angeles.
Winner.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
So you get four for that.
I have a three here, and I’m
going to claim a route of
three somewhere on the board.
I’m actually going to go
El Paso to Phoenix.
COLIN FERGUSON: Nice.
ANNE WHEATON: So this
means when it comes
back around to you–
so I don’t get to play again.
COLIN FERGUSON: No.
WIL WHEATON: One, two,
three, four.
COLIN FERGUSON: No.
AMY DALLEN: I guess since I
have the one last move I
should do this.
COLIN FERGUSON: Oh my god!
ANNE WHEATON: Oh my god.
What in the world?
AMY DALLEN: I would like
to go, please,
from Oklahoma City–
ANNE WHEATON: This
is horrible.
AMY DALLEN: –to El Paso.
WIL WHEATON: Oklahoma
City to El Paso–
ANNE WHEATON: So tragic.
WIL WHEATON: –will
get you 10 points.
Look at you.
46 to 56.
AMY DALLEN: Not quite in last.
ANNE WHEATON: Hello?
Hello?
WIL WHEATON: Oh, man,
look at that.
COLIN FERGUSON: I’ll take
that to my grave.
WIL WHEATON: I’m the caboose.
I’m such a caboose, I’m
going to bring all
the boys to the yard.
Colin, it’s your last–
COLIN FERGUSON: Well, I
got one card, so I’m
throwing down a red.
And I’m going from
either Raleigh–
Oh, no.
I’m going to Nashville
to Atlanta.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
AMY DALLEN: Oh my goodness.
WIL WHEATON: Let’s just
go ahead and count
up all these routes.
And let’s see–
ANNE WHEATON: He says “roots”
and I saw “routs”.
COLIN FERGUSON: I go
both ways with that
WIL WHEATON: –where.
Hey, Boyan, come out here.
BOYAN RADAKOUICH:
We have four.
I’m glad we’re counting because
if you guys win by one
or two, I want to make
sure it’s right.
ANNE WHEATON: And whoever
wins gets a Rolex!
Oh, [BEEP]
COLIN FERGUSON: And Wil almost
has a heart attack.
You can see he sort of
stands like this.
He’s like OK.
WIL WHEATON: What did you do?
AMY DALLEN: She distracted us by
not seeming like she wanted
to knock everything over.
WIL WHEATON: You could just
feel everyone go–
AMY DALLEN: If that was not nerd
rage, then I don’t know
what it was.
ANNE WHEATON: Oh, no.
It wasn’t nerd rage at all.
That was having no idea that
that table was flexible and
those little trains go flying.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WIL WHEATON: 34,
35, 36, 37, 38.
Are you serious?
COLIN FERGUSON: I went
from Winnipeg to
New Orleans via Portland.
WIL WHEATON: Well, here, You get
the longest route and also
least efficient means
of train travel.
Let’s go ahead and move you
up to 80-freaking-1.
OK.
So now we’re going to
go ahead, and we
will reveal our tickets.
And we will find out if we
completed routes and if we did
not complete routes.
Completed routes get bonuses.
Non-completed routes
get penalties.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WIL WHEATON: Colin, you win.
COLIN FERGUSON: That’s
fantastic.
WIL WHEATON: You win at your
very first game ever.
COLIN FERGUSON: Wow.
All is right with the world.
AMY DALLEN: My experience
from start to finish.
Ooh, cards.
I don’t think I can do that.
Maybe I can do that.
Trains, trains, trains, trains,
trains, trains, not
noticing that Colin has
a million trains.
WIL WHEATON: Colin has never
played before, and he
destroyed us.
That is the absolute beauty of
a game with very simple rules
that’s very high luck and
very high strategy.
ANNE WHEATON: You know, the
problem with him is he started
out with his I don’t get any
cards that are the same.
That was how he threw us off.
We felt sorry for him.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
Colin’s entire strategy was
flim-flam and rope-a-dope.
COLIN FERGUSON: Ahh,
what an idiot.
WIL WHEATON: I’m going to go
downstairs and talk to Colin
And find out exactly how he
managed to destroy three
people that he destroyed.
AMY DALLEN: Lies
and flim-flam.
ANNE WHEATON: That’s
what he did.
That’s totally what he did.
WIL WHEATON: I have to know if
you were legitimately playing
the rope-a-dope strategy.
COLIN FERGUSON: No.
If you look back over the
footage, I was completely
stressed when I got those
routes, the north/south and
the east/west.
And I had to connect them
somehow and for half the game
was going to connect
via the south.
And I didn’t think I
was going to do it.
WIL WHEATON: We all felt
so bad for you.
And then it was like wait a–
Wait a minute.
You have so many trains, you’ve
actually made a loop in
the middle of the game.
COLIN FERGUSON: Yes.
WIL WHEATON: Look, you
totally won victory.
COLIN FERGUSON: Thank you.
WIL WHEATON: You totally
earned winning victory.
COLIN FERGUSON: Well, it
was a group effort.
WIL WHEATON: You also get the
TableTop trophy of awesome.
COLIN FERGUSON: Wow.
WIL WHEATON: It’s got
cheerleaders.
COLIN FERGUSON: It’s you and
me holding up awesome.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah,
we totally are.
That’s exactly what it is.
So let me just pull it
back here and write
your name on it.
Colin.
COLIN FERGUSON: Wow.
It’s a spare-no-expense
affair.
WIL WHEATON: Yep.
It totally is.
And I’m going to put
this to you.
Now, Colin, if you would like
to make any kind of victory
speech or maybe say anything
to the camera–
COLIN FERGUSON: Oh, sure.
I accept this trophy on behalf
of all that is good and right
and pure and true.
And I hope that the world is
a better place for it.
WIL WHEATON: That’s a
beautiful speech.
COLIN FERGUSON: Thank you.
WIL WHEATON: I hope the next
person who gets this trophy
makes the same speech.
I have to actually take
it back because–
COLIN FERGUSON: It’s
my trophy.
WIL WHEATON: No.
We don’t have enough money
in the budget–
COLIN FERGUSON: It’s you and
me holding up awesome.
WIL WHEATON: –for more
than one trophy.
But look, what you get to keep
is this piece of tape with
your name on it.
COLIN FERGUSON: Oh, wow.
WIL WHEATON: That’s yours.
You can take it to the bank.
COLIN FERGUSON: Awesome.
I’m taking a piece of
tape to the bank.
WIL WHEATON: And we will see
you next time on TableTop.

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