Top 100 Things Pick-Up Basketball Players Say

Top 100 Things Pick-Up Basketball Players Say


– Joe you can’t guard me!
Ohhhh!
– Ones and twos, straight up.
– Who’s got next?
– All ones, to 11.
– Y’all are not up!
– We’ve been calling score the whole game.
– I got downs.
Yo, what’s the score?
– 13’s ones and twos.
– He has no left, force him left.
– Aw, short, aw that’s right, off right.
– He has no right, force him right.
– Off left, off left.
– He can’t shoot.
– Let him shoot.
– I’m open I’m open.
Woo-hoo.
Swing the ball.
– My bad on the miss.
Man you gotta move bro, you gotta cut.
– Yo I got downs, you wanna run with me?
– I actually got next, I got downs.
– How, you just got here.
– Oh that’s wet.
Wet!
Oh, there it is.
This not regulation size,
I knew something was off.
– Yo, can I run it with you guys?
– No I got fives.
You got downs though.
– Oh there it is.
I just lifted.
That’s fine. Shooters shoot.
There it is.
Shooter’s shoot, baby.
Oh yes.
Getting warmed up.
Oh, there we go!
It’s the double rim!
– Well which five have you got?
There’s only three people here.
– They’re playing on the court right now.
I got a friend on the way.
My boy’s coming actually.
– I got downs.
– Nah, I got downs.
– Don’t leave me open.
Don’t leave me…it’s shaking.
If it wasn’t shaking, it would’ve gone in.
It’s interference ’cause it was shaking.
Check ball.
– Is this a girl’s ball?
This ball is flat, is this game ball?
– Oh, there it is.
Hey, I’m warmed up baby, shooters shoot.
Here we go.
– Screen right, screen right,
switch, switch, switch.
Screen left, switch,
switch, switch, switch.
I said switch.
– Ay we need one for fives.
– Nah I’m good.
– We just need one though.
– I’m just shooting bro.
– That’s a carry.
– That’s not a carry.
My hand is right here, this is a carry.
This is not a carry.
– That’s not what you did.
– Man y’all just play
different around here man.
I’m not from around here, it’s different.
Y’all different.
– Foul, that’s me.
– That was all ball.
– All hand.
– Hand is part of the ball.
– Respect the call man, I called foul.
Y’all got last one.
– I don’t even play basketball,
I’m a football player.
– Bro, cut your nails.
How long are your nails?
– Count your points.
– I got six.
How many you got?
– I got four points.
– That’s 10, that’s game point.
– You know you ain’t had six.
– I scored on you right, you
don’t remember the layup?
– No I don’t remember that layup.
– The body, huh, you don’t remember?
Okay.
– Hurry up check it up.
– Let me see that ball man.
Yeah that’s mine, I gotta go.
– Let him shoot, not
a shooter, we’ll live.
We need one, one for fives, you wanna run?
– Who’s playing?
– Guy in the white, guy in the black.
– Nah I’m good.
– Lock down, lock down, yeah!
– Yo where’s my phone?
Someone stole my phone.
– No, nuh uh that’s broke, that’s broke-
– I called bank
– How you gonna call it after it goes in?
– What type of shoes are those?
Are those comfortable?
– All right, last game, 21.
– Ay! Foul.
– Ain’t nobody touch you.
– Foul.
foul.
– He called foul. Point
don’t count. Check ball.
Shouldn’t’ve called foul.
– Yo Scoot, can I have some?
Waterfall.
– That’s enough!
Bro!
You called foul before you shot it!
– But you fouled me?
– We gotta shoot for that.
We’re not shooting for anything!
And 1!
And 1 is not a call.
Ball live, Ball live!
– Two pointer.
That was a one.
His foot was on the line.
– Whose ball is it?
Yeah! Yeah!
– His opinion don’t matter! He
on the sideline for a reason!
Hey, what you saw?
– Foul!
Ball!
That’s me.
– You can’t wait ’till
you see that you miss it
to call foul.
– I’m just a freshman, bro.
– What college?
– Nah, I’m in high school.
I’m at Dr. Phillips.
– Wait what’s teams again? What’s teams?
– Everyone on the outside
v.s. everyone on the inside.
– That’s what we want baby!
– Mouse in the house.
Mismatch, mismatch.
Yeah! Yeah!
(yelling)
Yeah! Weight room!
Put a shirt on.
– Game!
– You can’t beat me one-on-one though.
Put a 100 dollars on it.
– And 1!
– You ain’t call foul?
– Call your foul. We
ain’t giving you nothing.
– Basketball’s a team sport.
– Put a 100 dollars on it right now.
– Next!
– Hold up hold up, you
gotta pass the ball in.
Oh yeah! That’s us, off his knee!
– Nah, I got downs.
– You just finished playing.
– I got downs.
– You just finished playing too!
Well, can I run with you guys?
– Nah I got 5.
– Well who’s got next?
– Guy in the black shirt right there,
dude in the yellow, guy
in the pink over there.
– Cookies!
– My bad. That’s on me.
I haven’t played in like a month.
– I’ll shoot for it.
– Ball don’t lie.
– I’ll shoot for it.
– Match.
– Ain’t no match.
– Match.
– It’s do or die.
– Nah, match.
Did you call do or die?
– Kobe!
– You gonna call foul every time?
– Slide your feet!
– We ain’t playing NBA rules here.
We ain’t in the NBA.
Who’s man is that?
– 7-5, bad guys.
– 7-5, good guys. Here we go.
Cut!
– Ya’ll got last call!
– That’s how you’re gonna do it?
All right. All right.
Don’t call foul.
Don’t call foul, see, oh. Oh!
Okay!
– That’s a walk bro!
Two steps!
– Nah that was two steps.
– One, two
– Three steps!
– No, bro. Check ball.
Yeah, I played at Florida.
– You played at Florida?
– Little intramural basketball.
– Intramural?
– Hey, switch. Let me get him.
– I got him.
– Are you sure you have him?
Man, switch!
Get him, get him.
– Ball, ball, ball, ball!
– Jelly!
– Call the screen, I can’t see them!
– You can’t dunk, bro.
– I could dunk that,
I gotta get warmed up.
If I’m warmed up!
– Oh, no no, you gotta
– My bad. My bad.
– You gotta, you gotta
put it above the rim.
– That’s on me.
– Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on
– Man you can’t dunk.
Man no, no, you can’t dunk.
Game point.
– Game point?
No…
– Nah we’ve been calling
score the whole game.
Put your shoes on, come on!
We’ve been calling score the whole game.
– No.
– Bro!
– First.
– That’s not a call.
– What’s score?
– Uh, I think…
Hold on, we were checking score
that doesn’t count.
Check ball.
Next point wins.
– Wait, what’s score?
– Wait, we we’re talking
– That’s game no.
– I just said it! I just said next score!
Oh my gosh, no! Get off the court.
– We were calling score.
– Get off the court.
Next, next.
We were calling score, man.
– Check ball, check ball.
– Next! Next!
Next!
– We called straight up at
the beginning of the game.
– Pick up, pick up, pick up.
Uh, huh. Lockdown.
Gametime.
– Hey, run it back. Run
it back, run it back.
Run it back!
– I got downs!
– [Voiceover] I’m a grown man!
– That’s a carry, man.
– Are you serious?
– That’s a carry.
– Waterfall.
(laughing)
That gotta be a good clip.

100 thoughts on “Top 100 Things Pick-Up Basketball Players Say”

  1. I am the one who was all cool and sportmanship during the first 3 months, until he got to know the other guys and started winning about every damn call lol

  2. You forgot the "No, it's not make-it-take-it" guy.

    Who plays half-court pickup and doesn't play make-it-take-it? Get that sh!t out of here.

  3. 3:07 (me on 2k with my Center and a guard switches on me in the park)
    "Mismatch!"
    *backs him down*
    "YEEAAAAH!!! YEEAAAAH!!!! WEIGHT ROOOOMMM!!!!"
    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  4. I practice a lot at a ymca near me, and I always get asked if I want to play with them, I always say no, because Everyone hogs the ball thinking they can break someone’s ankles.

  5. “OHH YEAHH! THATS US, IT WENT OFF HIS KNEE!” and “ I HAVEN’T PLAYED IN A MONTH” be me I swear 😭

    I be lying🤣🤣🤣

  6. “Oh yeah my bad, you gotta move, you gotta cut” you don’t know how many times I’ve been told that and I HATE IT

  7. What about lucky shot, today is a good day , now I play real D and then the one who screams game when hitting the gamewinner

  8. 0:23 Literally the most annoying thing in basketball. People think they can lead the whole team by doing fancy dribbles in one spot and taking a step back 3. And then blaming people for not being open. Speaking from experience. Left my basketball team because of it. And they haven’t won since I left. I’m not saying I could lead the damn team by myself, but I knew my role, and shared the ball when I needed to and took shots when I needed to.

  9. Where’s the” I could’ve made the NBA “ or “ I got offered a scholarship to Duke, but I turned it down”

  10. top 10 sus things hoopers say
    1. get in his ass
    2. stick him
    3. get in th hole
    4. 'D' him
    5. blow job (on missed layups)
    6. sat on him (describing a dunk on)
    7. he wet af (smh)
    ..ok i got no more, yall keep goin

  11. At 1:39 I genuinely said gtfo😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 had to catch myself from going all out. I hate weak calls

  12. "its just that I'm out of shape. I literally havent played in 5 years bro. I literally broke my ankle like yesterday… "

  13. 0:22 #16-19 was me for 7 fucking years until they saw me knock down 3 straight jump shots… No one ever told me to cut ever again.

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