♪This place has been forgotten♪
♪A relic of the road♪
♪And I am on my own♪
♪It seems I was only dreaming♪
♪Of a life that never ends♪
♪To say goodbye is the hardest part♪
♪So farewell my friends♪
♪We shall be reminded♪
♪Of adventures that we shared♪
♪While the storm rages around us♪
♪And the wind begins to tear
Down the door, Down the door♪
♪We will never know if there was more♪
♪Just give me one last morning♪
♪With a sword still in my hand♪
♪And I’ll slay all them giants♪
♪Save the princess from this land♪
♪But I am not your Lionhart♪
♪I am just a fool♪
♪Who made believe I was a king
But forgot I had to rule♪
♪Through all the darkest hour♪
♪Chasing the setting sun♪
♪But I am ashamed of what I’ve become♪
♪This time I fear we’ve gone to far♪
♪This time I know they’ve won♪
*Sad Banjo Solo*
Hey how about Hardcore Gamer Academy? It’s only 200 miles from your place.
Yeah. Uh… I could take the bus there on the weekends.
Why don’t you two just go to the same school next year?
Oh, I have to go back to normal school next year, so.
Damn, dude. Normal school sucks.
Turns out I missed the deadline for scholarships
You know what my grandpappy said , don’t be poor.
C-C’mon guys, I’m gonna be fine and plus we’re all gonna keep in touch, right?
I’ve got it.
I can save the school.
Poor Ki, she’s been saying that all week.
*PA* Attention students, this is Dean Barnstormer and Dean Barnstormer!
Here to tell you that due to construction, a 6 PM curfew is now in place!
Lights out everybody!
*Power whining down*
Come on Jax, one last tune.
♪I don’t know what to think anymore♪
♪There’s so much stuff going wrong♪
(Check out Brian D’s old-school gear!)
(Don’t tell me that’s the setup he smoked you with, LAWllipop)
(You’re not underdogs, you’re VGHS. Winning is what you do)
(Jenny Matrix has almost done it.)
(These underclassmen are one point away from the biggest upset in clan tryout history.)
(Tank, up front. Games, Moriarty, make some noise.)
(Rule number one, Ace, never give up.)
(You really want to play this game one last time?)
(The clock’s ticking, so why don’t you put that ‘nade on your noggin?)
(Final chance for VGHS!)
(This isn’t about you and me.)
(It’s not about getting back in, it’s –)
(it’s about one last chance to play with the best of the best.)
(‘Cause at the end of the day, Calhoun,)
(it’s all about the game.)
– Guys, get up!
I’ve got an idea.
Grand Theft Auditorium is still open, right?
So, let’s get in there and just play some video games.
– Brian, it’s like 10 in the morning.
– Come on, guys, I’m being serious.
This is our last chance to play together as a team, under the lights.
Besides, what else are we gonna do?
– Brian, you’re so lame!
But I’m bored, so let’s do it.
– 3v3 deathmatch?
– We could turn on low gravity.
– And Big Head mode.
– And I’ve got a big head!
– Let’s go,
(ALL) – video game!
– Guys, we got the Nitro Dog for $10 and Laser Dog for $10.50!
– And what price is a man’s forgiveness?
– That’s not on the menu, sir.
– Two Nitro Dogs, then.
– And a moment of your time.
In one fortday, this school will be no more,
but the Drift Team lives in Clutch’s uncle’s basement.
Alas, I am graduating,
and racing off to med school.
But not until I name my successor.
Theodore, will you be the —
– Nope. I don’t want to be Drift King. Please go away. I do not to be like you.
– Then don’t be!
Be yourself, Ted.
You are the Drift King!
– You don’t know who I am!
I have moved on! I have a career.
– A career?
Look at your hat!
– It’s called a uniform. And I don’t wear it because I want to, but because I have to.
Because I am an adult now.
Now, do you want relish on those, or what?
– Relish? No.
I do not relish this at all.
(grunts in frustration)
– This school is home to the endangered Red Beaked pigeon.
You need to halt construction immediately and perform an environmental survey.
– That’s a fake bird with ketchup on its beak, Ki. It’s the saddest try yet.
– Well, the topsoil —
– Stop it, just stop.
Construction’s begun, negoshes are over.
VGHS is ours.
– But, Shane–
– But, but but your world’s over.
– Shane train!
– How about this: “Napalm 64, so big it hurts!”
– So bad, I hate it. Try again.
– (scoffs) Look I know the 64oz can is awesome, but I just can’t figure this out
– There’s not really much to figure out, it’s just a bigger can of Napalm.
– Yeah, and plane’s just a bus with wings.
When we release the N64, we’re gonna have the hottest brand on Eath.
– Even hotter than Mom’s.
– Ashley! What the hell, you closed the auditorium?
– Uh, duh! We need it for our N64 press conference.
– Plus, Mom’s gonna be there, so it’s gotta crush her expectations.
– We just want to play one last game.
– Uh you did play one last game; against us. And you lost.
And your school’s a mall now.
– This blows
– (grunts in frustation)
– I have an idea.
– Shane, Ashley,
What do the hottest brands have in common?
– Quality products, strong identity.
– Leaders with balls.
– Leaders with bowls.
– Like cereal bowls?
– Like the Superbowl, like the Brunchable’s Melon Bowl, like the Ooh-Ya Bowl
like Napalm Bowl.
You’ll need an auditorium to play in
and a team to play against. Good thing we have both here.
– Why would we play them again?
– Because you know you’ll win.
And because when you win the Napalm Bowl,
you get more than just a trophy.
You get your team’s name etched across the biggest energy drink ever created
The Napalm 64oz Champion’s Game.
– It’s pretty good Ki, but I don’t know if it’s big enough for Napalm.
– I’ve got it. Boom.
64oz, 64 players.
That big enough for you, bro?
– Oh, it’s big.
You losers think you can get together 32 players by Friday?
– You bet your ass we can.
-Hell, no. You guys are gonna get slaughtered.
– Yeah, the Sebastian’s got a thing going on that day, but um…
Hey, buy Napalm.
– Help you? After what your psycho boyfriend did? As if.
– You guys gonna help us, or what?
– Sorry, bro.
Shane got us jobs at Bally Total Fitness, so…
– So do you wanna play?
– FPS sucks,
and so do you,
and so does everything.
– They don’t know that you’re talking to me, do they?
Stay away from me
(sighs in frustration)
– What’s the point, Jumping Jax?
nothing’s going to change
– I’d love to help dude, but
my manager’s a real turd about personal days
I don’t know…
I think I’m done with video games
It’s time to grow up, you know
– Well, it won’t be the same without you man
– The answer’s no
VGHS has been a harsh mistress
To be honest, I’ll be glad to get rid of her
– I’m sorry to hear that
And I’m sorry for everything
– Okay so that brings us to…seven
We’ve got nobody
– Uh guys
– Our top story: The best FPS players in the world are going back to high school
– That’s correct! Elite pro players from around the globe
have torn up their contracts and enrolled in Napalm Energy Drink High School
just in time for the Napalm Bowl
– We couldn’t be happier that these incredible athletes have chosen to continue their education here at Napalm
We’ll see you on Friday, VGHS
– Love you guys
– Love ya
– Love you a lot
– Okay this is dumb
– Well, we can’t just give up–
– WE have no team. We’re gonna get murdered
– It was a fun idea, but we should just call it off
– Having dreams is dumb
– You need food
You NEED to eat
Open up for the stealth bomber
(child continues crying)
– Our top story: The best FPS players are going back to high school
– That’s correct!
Elite pro players from around the globe have torn up their contracts
and enrolled in Napalm Energy Drink High School just in time for the Napalm Bowl
– So, Shane and Ashley
about the game–
– Mmm my God
– We forfeit, okay? You guys win
– Uhh yeah, no. That’s not happening
– We spent 30 mil recruiting people yesterday
Champions cans are printing so, no
You don’t just get to walk away without getting humiliated
– We don’t have enough players
– Aww, well that sounds an awful lot like your problem
– I guess it will be a 32 on…7?
(Shane and Ashley laugh)
– Make that 32 on 8
I never graduated
Let’s do this
– But you were the Dean
I never could say goodbye
or pass Gaming History
But nonetheless, that still makes me a better student than all you chumps
You came here to bathe in the blood of your enemies
To game with the best of the best
and you have one last chance to make that happen
and you’re just going to sit around and do nothing?
This school may be going down
But I say we go down swinging!
Now who’s with me?
– I’ll play with you, Calhoun
(slams hands on table)
– As will I
– Yeah, count me in!
– Me too
– Team Ham stands with you
– And jams with you
– We got nothing to do
– Yeah, I mean, I guess
An old man,
A cut-rate FPS team
twenty-three random students
Is that it?
Does anybody else want to get humiliated tomorrow?
– I do!
If this grown up’s in, then it’s grown up enough for me
– We’ll see you at the game
– Tomorrow we’ll be playing Deus Five
That’s no respawns
– What’s Deus Five?
– Don’t point your
– Now this is a team assault map
– What’s a team assault map?
– Duchess, you pulled your pin
– What the hell does no respawns mean?
– It means, you’re all going to die
– I’m stuck
– Alright, so you take this bomb, punch in the code
place it here, and that’s it
– Got it
– What do I do, what do I do, what do I do what do I do
– Punch in the code Wendell
– I can’t!
I’m freaking out
(smacks Brian in the face)
– Oh my God you’re all bad
– Come on guys, you can do this
– No we can’t
– Ughh we’re going to get thwomped out there
– You play like this is Video Game Preschool
– We’re not an FPS team, we suck at this game!
– You’re right D.K, you do
but you know what you don’t suck at?
– Fighting gamers, get in there and hit somebody
Where are my platform speed runners?
Sports gamers, come on
Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before
– Don’t know what that means, Ki
– It means I have a plan
– Come on!
– Ted, D.K, circle back
Randall, take them out
– Stick with your team, stick to the plan, and remember to have fun
and we might just pull this thing off
– Actually, that’s a lie
you probably won’t
Most of you barely play FPS
and, a crazy plan and six hours of training isn’t going to change that
So yeah, we’re probably going to lose
for the first time that actually doesn’t bother me
Because win or lose,
VGHS is gone
You know tomorrow we all go home
I don’t want to say goodbye
Because this is my home and
screw it, you guys are my family
I love you guys
If I do have to say goodbye, I am happy I get to do it playing with all of you
I will see you all in the morning
Get some sleep
– Screw sleep
– Screw sleep
– Let’s party!
– To the Frag Floor!
– I know who our last player’s going to be
You sure you want to do that?
– Not really
but he’s the reason I got into this school
He should be there when it ends
– 3 dollars?
You polo shirt wearing dickbag, I paid 50 bucks for this game
– I understand you’re upset sir, would you like to
unfortunately, the rules are the rules
but if you want to exchange the game for anything in the store
five dollars to a credit, I can do that for you–
– No one wants store credit
I want my money back I wanna get my skateboard and get out of this hellhole!
And oh yeah, by the way, get me a Napalm, cripple
– Hey Law
I know that we haven’t always gotten along
But I really–
– Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up
I know what you’re here for, D.
and I’m in
– Woah woah woah woah woah, hold on a sec
– Hey Jerry! I QUIT
– Nono I’ll join the reward programme!
No come on man, no!
– I’m gonna put your teeth in New Law’s mouth
so the police misidentify BOTH your bodies!
– I’ll take the store credit!
– IT’S THE PERFECT MURDER!
– Hey, hey Law–
– Wait in the car, Brian!
– I rode my bike
– WAIT. IN. THE. CAAAAAAAAAAR
FOREVER’S GONNA START TONIGHT
NO ONE WILL KNOW
NO ONE WILL EVER. KNOW
– Alright, I’ll admit it. I’m actually kind of glad that he’s back
– I can’t believe it’s almost over
After tomorrow, most of us will never see each other again
– We’ve still got one more night, Ki
Hey Ted do you want to go make out for a while?
– Heck yes I do
– Let’s go, let’s go
– Bye guys
– Have fun, you two
about school next year
you should just choose a place that’s best for you
– A lot of those places are really far from you
– I know
You were amazing today, like seriously
You were born to do this, whatever it takes
and whatever that means for…us
This was the best time of my life
– Mine too
– Not much of a pep rally, is it
– You ready for Round Two?
– Let the games begin
– Let’s rock and roll!